I think I made a big mistake today. I told Janette about meeting up with Beth from Interlink Resources. Janette did not like this at all. She even talked to Alla, the head of the International Adoption Program at my adoption agency, and even she was not a happy camper. They seem to think that I am discussing my adoption process with Beth and they do not trust her. Janette even told me that there have been some adoptions that had problems because of Interlink. Supposedly, Interlink told the parents something that wasn’t true and it affected their paperwork or something to that matter. I really didn’t get the straight of it. She even told me that Alla said that I had signed a contract not to talk about my adoption to anyone while in Kazakhstan except my coordinator. She also said that the government is watching every little thing I do and everyone I associate with. So, I’ve been told by Janette to not trust the people at Interlink. Now, here’s what I think….I think Janette is looking out for me in every possible way. She doesn’t know these people at Interlink so naturally, as we humans do, when we don’t know about something, we are scared of it. I was told by Janette, very nicely, that I shouldn’t have any more contact with Interlink because they may not have the best intentions in mind and that the government will not like it either. So, what do I do now? Do I do what my coordinator says or go by my gut? Other families have been in contact with Interlink and I’ve heard nothing but good things about them. I’ve been in contact with them for over a year and I think they are doing wonderful things for the kids in the orphanages. Here’s what I told Janette…..to appease her I told her that I would have no further contact with them and that I trusted what she said over anybody else while I’m here. I think that is exactly what she wanted to hear. I’ve decided that I will not have as much contact with them as I once thought I would. I will go tonight to the pizza and a movie gathering that they have for the adoptive parents in town (which is me right now) but maybe after tonight, I may want to limit my time with them to just Friday nights. If Janette suspects that I’m around them, she may slow my adoption down. The adoption is still out of my hands and it’s all in hers. I can’t afford to piss her off. So, that means I probably won’t do the workshops I wanted to do (which really sucks!!!) but I have a more important priority and that is to get my little munchkin home to Memphis, Tennessee. I do not want to do anything to jeopardize that right now. Therefore, I will play by Janette’s rules and have very limited contact with Interlink. I’m going to mention it to Beth tonight to tell her about what Janette said. I will also tell her that I cannot afford to make Janette mad at me right now so I will not be able to volunteer at all. She’ll understand, I hope.
Today’s visit was very good. We wanted Mama more today so that made mama feel better. She sat in my lap several times and she drank her tea and asked mama to help her with drinking it from the bottle. I’ve figured out what her whiny “maaamaa” means. She wants me to help her drink her tea. I finally got the hint today as I put it together in my head. Every time she says “maaamaa” in the whiny little voice, she is drinking her tea. Ding….Ding….Ding….“help me mama” is what she is saying. It only took mama about a week and a half to figure it out. Alina was not interested in her treats at all today. In fact, I think she only at one little bite of cookie and that was it. And, she only drank half of her bottle of tea. She seemed to be feeling alright and played with her books as usual. Maybe she wasn’t as hungry today as she has been.
I brought the same outfit again today that I brought yesterday. She did not want me to put the outfit on her yesterday so I didn’t push it. But, you should have heard her today. Her nanny put it on her and she was laughing and giggling so hard she was losing her breath! It was so sweet and sooo funny! She loved her new outfit (see today’s pics…Thanks for the hand-me-down Deanna!)!!! It looked soooo cute on her! Everything that I’ve brought for her has been so cute on my cherub! I just love her dark skin and those pudgy little arms and that poochy belly! I can’t wait to be able to make some clothes for that tiny little body! I need to buy her some shoes. I’m going to make a trip to Tsum, the mall, this weekend to see if I can find her some. The ones she is wearing now are about a size and a half to big for her. Her foot is only 4 5/8” long! I don’t know what size that translates into. I will have to see when I go to the mall this weekend. It needs to be a shoe that she doesn’t have to wear a sock with so it will most likely be a sandal of some kind. I can’t wait!!!
We finally had our picture taken with the director today. Alina, Shirin, and I had gone on a stroll around the orphanage and stopped at Alina’s group shelter. She wanted to go in and play with the toys in the cabinet. While we were there, the batteries ran out on the camera and Shirin ran back to the gazebo to get some more. The director was there and when Shirin returned, she told me we needed to go back to the gazebo to take a picture with the director. So, we did (see photo above). I’ve been so nervous about meeting the director. It went very well. She is a very stern looking woman but it is obvious that she has a special place in her heart for Alina. When we got back to the gazebo, Alina ran to her and jumped up in her lap. I was, secretly, very jealous but of course did not say or show any reaction. Of course Alina is going to show this kind of affection toward the director. She’s the closest thing to a mother that she has ever had. I haven’t even seen her react to her caretakers this way. The director sat and talked to me for a while. She was telling me that Alina was a very good child with a wonderful personality. And…get this…get your Klenex ready because I’m tearing up typing it….The director told me that Alina has ALWAYS wanted a Mama. She has never mentioned anything about wanting a father. She said that with the other children, who are being adopted and whose families visit, usually run to their father first during the visits. Not Alina. She has always gravitated to the mother’s of the other children. I have confirmation of that through Lynda Robey and Kara Docter, two married ladies who are adopting children from Umit this summer along with me who are returning next week to pick up their children. They both have told me how Alina would come up and grab their hands as soon as she saw them. My other Taraz moms who adopted last summer has said the same thing. Tell me that this child was not ment for me…a single woman? Tell me that God has not saved this precious gift for me and only me? And, that He was saving her (by her not being adopted by anyone else even though she has been shown to almost every family coming to Umit this year) for me? The fact that she gravitates to women and has only mentioned wanting a mama the whole time she has been at the orphanage should prove to anyone that God does work in mysterious ways. Another sign, along with many others during my adoption journey, that this child, this precious little dark hair, dark skin beauty was suppose to be my daughter.
After the director and I chat for a while and the photos for the Guardianship Council are taken, it is almost time for me to go. We start packing up and Alina seems to be ok with me leaving today. No crying, no whimpering. As I am carrying her up to her room, she asks if I will come back tomorrow. “Iya (Yes)“ I say in Kazak and she flashes a big smile at me. As soon as we reach the bottom of the stairs, the aroma of what she is having for lunch fills the air. Once again, whatever it is smells wonderful! I know it’s only soup with noodles and a little bit of meat and bread but it has to taste very good. I carry her to the doorway of her playroom and put her down. She walks a step or two inside the door but decides to turn around and reach for me. No tears, she just wants her mama. I pick her up, kiss her on the cheek, and tell her that I will see her tomorrow. One of the caretakers comes and takes her from my arms with no protesting at all. I tell her goodbye and take my usual hasty exit. As I head down the stairwell, I see the caretaker is about to take off the outfit I brought for her today. Apparently, they take it off when I leave and put it back on her in the morning before I get there. I think that’s very sensible and shows that they have respect for the adoptive parents and the children.
Shirin and I head back downstairs and out to the gazebo. Our driver has not shown up yet so we wait in the shade of the gazebo. This is when the conversation about Interlink takes place. Also, Janette asks me about the hotel and wants to make sure that I am satisfied with my room. I tell her all is fine. She says that my safety is important. I tell her that I feel very safe there and that the staff is very good to me which is very true (except for the business center guy who keeps asking me to pay for my internet usage. He’s nice and all but you want me to pay for using the internet? Please….). Janette tells Shirin to ask me if I still want to stay until September. I answer yes and that I want to see Alina as much as I can until she is mine. Our driver arrives and we continue our gazebo conversation in the van. Janette says that she is worried about my financial situation. I tell her that I understand and thank her for being concerned. It would cost me just as much to fly back and forth to Kazakhstan as it would to stay in the hotel the entire three months. There is really not a lot of difference in the price between the two. Plus (and I didn’t say this to her), how can I leave that sweet baby for 6 weeks waiting on a court date after we have bonded knowing that she wants to see her mama everyday? I think Alina would be devastated that I did not come to see her everyday and she may think that I was not coming back. I can’t do that to that baby! I don’t care how much it costs! Janette tells Shirin that she will try to process all my paperwork as quickly as she can so maybe we can leave a little sooner. That is good news to my ears! The only thing she doesn’t have control over is the court date but, I bet she knows someone, somewhere who does. Again, Janette is a very nice woman and is really working hard for all of her families, not just me. If she says she will try to speed things up for me then I believe that she will do everything in her power to do so. We drop Shirin off at what looks like an apartment building. Maybe it’s where she lives. We then drop Janette off at the court house so she can deliver some paperwork for Alina and I am taken to the hotel which is just down the street from the court house. I tell our driver, who has driven us before, thank you and goodbye. I go to my room which is really stuffy and instantly change into some shorts. Its around noon so it’s not to bad but around 2:30, even if you are sitting, sweat rolls off of you if you are not sitting in front of the fan. Ahhh, another day in sweaty paradise! All for the sake of a little dark hair, dark eyed cherub whom I love more and more each day! I truly am the luckiest woman in the world!!!
Cheers!
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