The Waiting Game....Not Good for a Control Freak Like Me

When you enter the throws of International Adoption, it really is a roller coaster ride. You are so excited to find an agency that will accept you and has a program that you are interested in. Then, the paperchase begins. There still is that excitement of gathering what needs to be gathered and dreaming of that cherub of a face that will someday be yours. Doctors appointments, county court house, fingerprints, FBI, USCIS, homestudy, social worker, adoption coordinator, caseworker, notaries, apostilles, birth certificiates, and the list goes on and on. Once all the paperwork is gathered, that's when the waiting game begins because you no longer have control or a say in ANYTHING!! You can't call the FBI and say, "Ahem, excuse me, yes, I sent my fingerprints in 2 weeks ago. You see, I'm in the middle of gathering paperwork for an adoption and there's this little 4 year old girl waiting for me in Kazakhstan. Could you please see to it THAT YOU GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR AND RETURN THE FINGERPRINTS AND THE APPRORIATE PAPERWORK IMMEDIATELY?!! I would so appreciate it. Thanks." That's what you feel like saying but, alas, if you did something like that you probably would NEVER receive your fingerprints back.
This also goes for USCIS. "Yes, I know you only have 2 people working in the ENTIRE adoption unit of your office but, you see, there's the cutest little 4 year old child waiting for me in Kazakhstan. So, I was wondering COULD YOU WORK JUST A LITTLE FASTER SO I CAN HAVE YOUR PERMISSION (huh!!) TO BRING MY DAUGHTER TO THE UNITED STATEs? Thanks so much for your attention to my file." Yeah, that's what I'd like to say but, just like with the FBI, this would not bring my I171H any closer to my door. So, I wait for other people to clear my good name and give me the paperwork to prove it. And, I wait for other people to allow me to adopt a child from Kazakhstan and give ME the permission to bring her into the United States.
Isn't it funny that anyone can HAVE a child (baring infertility of course)...no questions asked...no social workers to report to, no asking the government for permission for anything. But, if you want to adopt one...oohohoh...you have to PROVE to EVERYONE UNDER THE SUN that you are capable of raising a child. Yes, I know it's done in the best interest of the child and I have no argument at all about that. And, in some cases, I'm glad it's done. I just wish it was simplier..you know. All I want is to give a secure and loving home to a child. I want to give a child a chance to become whatever they want to be...give something of myself to a child...be a mother. And to do that, all I have to do is jump through, what feels like, 3 million hoops to do it. Okay...fine. You want me to do it....I'll do it. I'll jump through those hoops and when I've jumped through that 3 millionth hoop, there's this extremely cute kid in Kazakhstan that I will be the proud mother of and the frustration of jumping through all those hoops and the extreme frustration felt during the waiting game will fade and it will have all been worth it.