Friday, August 28, 2009

Ch…Ch…Ch…Changes

There are lots of changes happening at Umit Baby House. They are not only getting a re-vamped heating system (thank goodness the heating pipes no longer run parallel to the hallway walls along the floor and crossing doorways, and even crossing over in the hallway itself ---very dangerous for the children) but also receiving new plumbing along with new commodes, walls, window sills, and trim are being repainted in the playrooms, bedrooms, and hallways, and new vertical blinds are going up in all the hallway windows. This is what I can see happening. I’m sure there are other things happening as well. I’m glad. It was not in bad shape when I arrived but it did need some upkeep. I hope they can refurbish the outside as well. There is an older woman who is extremely nice who has been working on all the flower beds since I’ve been visiting Alina. Her job seems to never end but she has the beds looking beautiful. I think the director of the baby house is really doing a good job and I sure this re-vamp is because of her. I now know why I never saw her at the beginning of my trip. She’s either in court with other adoptive parents, in meetings, or trying to get money to help the kids. As I’ve said before, she may have a serious look on her face all the time but I really think she is working hard for the kids at Umit. Her job can’t be easy. God bless her!!!
As I walked out to wait on my chariot this morning, I found Janette sitting on one of the yellow hotel benches. She must have been dropped off by her husband because I did not see the usual black and silver minivan that takes me to see Alina. I saw her and asked how she was, in Kazakh, and she answered good, in Kazakh. I think she’s really impressed that I am learning the Kazakh language. She even told the Judge and, as I said in my other post, made a copy of my dictionary so it could be included in my paperwork at the court house. She’s also told me that since I know some Kazakh, it will be easier to communicate with Alina and know what she needs and wants until she learns English. I totally agree and that’s why I started learning it before I traveled. Shirin has helped me tremendously with my Kazakh. I can ask her how to say anything that would pertain to Alina and she will tell me and help me write it phonetically for my dictionary. I want to take this dictionary and post in the Taraz adoption yahoo group files. I think if someone is adopting an older child, it could really come in handy. Anyway, Janette motions for me to take a seat beside her so I do. Obviously, we are waiting for a ride. A red car pulls up and Janette starts walking toward it and I tag along. It’s a new driver. He is obviously Russian with his blonde hair and blue eyes. He is an older man, probably late 50’s or so, and apparently Janette knows him well. I get in the back seat and he says good morning to me in English. Surprised, I answer him back in English. Janette gets in on the passenger side and the two of them immediately start talking. It’s really strange to be the only one in the car who has no idea what is being said. I should be used to it by now. We pick up Shirin and head toward Umit. I pay Janette the rest of the visitation fee that I owe her for this week. I also had Shirin talk to Janette about Mom and Dad. They will be arriving on September 6th at 12:35 a.m. in Almaty (THAT’S NEXT SUNDAY!!! Can you tell I’m excited!!!). I would like Janette to speak to Yurnur, the guy who drove me from Almaty to Taraz, about driving Mom and Dad. Janette said not to worry (her usual response to everything and you know what, I don’t worry anymore because I know she will take care of it) and she will make all the arrangements. Can I take Janette home with me? Wouldn’t it be grand if we all had someone who arranged our daily lives for us and we just had to live it? I know I’ve complained about her in the past but she really has taken good care of me. At the time I was upset with her, I just didn’t realize how things worked in the adoption game here. Now I know a little more about the game and I realize that she was only looking out for my best interest and working as hard as she could for me. I know for a fact she works very hard and she deserves to be compensated for it. Now that I know what I know and I trust her, she deserves every penny of my money. I called her my Kazakh Mama a couple of weeks ago and again on Friday and she laughed and said she was honored.
We arrive at the baby house and Alina is nowhere to be found. Her group is not outside because Shirin and I walked all the way around the orphanage. She had to be in the playroom with her other playmates. We go up the brightly painted orange, yellow, and blue stairs to the room. I walk in the door and I see no little shoes lined up against the wall. That’s the first sign that no one is there. I look at Shirin and at the same time we are thinking they are back in their old room on the other end of the orphanage. Back down the colorfully painted stairs, turn left, walk down the long hallway past the kitchen to the other end of the orphanage, and walk up the other colorfully painted set of steps toward Alina’s old room. Halfway up the steps, we are met by the entire troupe. They were just getting ready to go outside. My arrival is loudly announced when they see me on the landing of the stairs. It’s really so precious when they do that!!!! It always makes me smile. I see Alina rush through the doorway at the top of the stairs. She has a big smile on her face and starts hurrying down the steps as fast as those little legs of hers can carry her. She gets to the third step from the bottom and I grab her up. She gives me a hug and as the others are parading down the steps, she claims me as her mama by saying, “Mein Mama” to all her playmates. The other kids in her group tell me hello in English as they proceed down the stairs and into the hallway. They find a partner, grab his/her hand, and down the hall and out the door they go. Shirin, Alina, and I are close behind.
We walk to our regular playing ground, the gazebo, and start our visit. I brought new shoes for Alina today. They were given to me by my friends Eva and Vicente. They had bought them for their daughter, Maria, but they were to big so they offered them to me. I offered to pay for them but they wouldn’t have it. I still owe everyone a blog post about these guys. They are a hoot and I’m so glad they are here. There adoption experience, I’m sorry to say, has not been as smooth as mine. But, that’s for a later posting. The shoes fit perfectly. I had to fight to get them on her but Mama won with the help of Shirin who distracted her with her cell phone. We took our puzzles out and played with them. She really likes the puzzles. She also took out the My Little Pony collection that our friend Rachel sent us. It’s in a zip Gladlock bag. Alina unzips the bag, pulls one pony out, puts it back in, and zips and unzips the bag 10 times. Yeah…that’s my girl!!! Alina finds Shirin’s phone lying on the bench in the gazebo. I told Alina not to play with it but Shirin said it was ok. She loved playing with Shirin’s phone. She would pretend to call Shirin. She asked her how she was doing and then she would hang it. It was the cutest thing in the world. Once I realized I had a phone in my purse that Kara Docter left me, I gave my phone to Alina. She, again, pretended to call Shirin and Shirin pretended to be talking to her on her phone. It was hilarious to say the least and I posted a photo of them talking to each other in today’s blog (see above).
Also today, I needed to take some passport photos of Alina. I’ve been waiting for this step for weeks because it means we are close to getting Alina’s passport thus we are getting close to traveling to Almaty. I remember when Liam, Christian and Natalie’s son, had his taken and I thought I can’t wait for that day because it means the end is near. Shirin and I have been talking about this for a week now. How in the world are we going to get Alina to stand still long enough to take a proper passport photo? I think both of us were dreading it. It’s 10:50 and I told Shirin we better try to take the passport pictures. I was thinking it was going to be a 30 minute battle. We load all the goodies back in the bag and gather up our stuff. We start searching for a good place to take the photos. We needed a white background so we both thought the hallway wall in the orphanage would be perfect. I brush Alina’s hair with the My Little Pony brush, the only one I had on me, wipe her face, and fix her shirt. I sit down on the floor and tell Alina to sit down across from me. The hallway wall is only half a wall because the other half is window. She sits down without protest and with a smile on her face. She sits to close to me so I ask her to scoot back against the wall. No problem. She has her legs stretched out in front of her and she is sitting on her hands. I get the camera ready, point it at her, and say, “ka-ra (roll the r)” which means look in Kazakh. She does so, smiles, and viola…perfect passport picture! I couldn’t believe it!! I take about nine more pics and she is smiling and sitting still for every single one of them. I think I have a little ham on my hands here. It took all of 10 minutes. Whew! Glad that was easy. I’ll take some more so the passport place will have plenty to choose from now that I know Alina likes her picture taken. Hopefully it wasn’t a one time deal. We’ll see. Since this was so easy, we’ve got 30 more minutes of visit left so we head back to the gazebo for more playing and finishing of the snacks and juice.
It’s 11:30 and time to take Alina back to her group. This used to be the worst part of my day and I still don’t like it but now I know that she will be mine forever in only 10 more days. I carry her to the doors of the orphanage and then set her down. We take a right, walk down the hall, and up the colorfully painted stairs to her room. She walks to the doorway of the room, turns around, waves and says bye bye and she’s gone. I turn around and head back out to the gazebo. Shirin and I wait a few minutes until Janette and the driver show up. Then, as usual, Shirin and I get dropped off at our usual spots. I cannot wait until this routine is over and done with. Only three more visits, 10 more days and Alina will be with me forever. Lord, give me the strength to last 10 more days…amen.
I have to write about my Thursday. The Miller clan, all seven of them, Christian, Natalie, and Liam, me, and Ken, who works with Interlink, went to the park yesterday. The park is located down the street from my hotel and it has small amusement park rides in it. We arrived about 10:00 am and left at 3:00 p.m. Everyone had a great time and I’m thinking that Mom, Dad, Alina, and I will go there when Alina is with us. There’s a Ferris wheel, a small roller coaster, flying swings, bumper cars and a lot more. You buys tickets and each ride costs one, two, or three tickets. One tickets costs 30 cents maybe. It’s a nice place and they also have benches you can sit on, a small playground, and lots of little places to eat. We had lunch in the park as well. I was the official picture taker of the day. But, the way some of the pictures turned out, maybe that wasn’t such a good idea. I did get some good ones though. It was a great time and I was totally exhausted by the time I got back to the room.
Some of you have asked that I post about the Hotel Zhambyl. I’ve been asked to take pics of my room and of the hotel and talk a little bit about my living experience here. It’s been really great and the people here are just wonderful. I’ll try to post something next week.

Until Monday….

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

I just reread Monday’s post and I have to apologize for all the misspelled and missing words not to mention the grammatical errors! I guess my head was not where it needed to be when I wrote that post. Hey, can you blame me?
Anyway, today’s visit was special indeed. Knowing that Alina is officially my daughter is making these last visits with her more bearable. It still drives me crazy that she has to stay there until Sept. 9th but at least I know that day is coming. It gives us something to look forward to. Hey, I’ve waited this long, what’s 13 more days, right? She was especially giddy today along with her usual talkative nature. She almost ate all her snacks before she drank any juice which is very unusual but she eventually drank the entire box of apple juice. I took all new toys for her to play with. She had puzzles, my little pony’s, and new barrettes (Thanks Rachel!!!). These were all in the care package that I got last Friday. There are more new toys but we are introducing a few at a time so we can have something new to play with each time I visit her. Alina LOVED the puzzles, as I knew she would, and liked all the other new things as well. Eleven thirty came to quickly today and my girl had to go and eat her lunch. I was just about to take her to her room when one of the caretakers came down to get her. She went without hesitation. She said bye, bye to me, looked back once as she was walking away and waved. Only four more visits and then we’re outta there!!! I CANNOT WAIT!!!!
Shirin took me to the Bazaar today after the visit. The driver dropped me off at the hotel so I could stash the toy bag in my room and then we were dropped off at the Bazaar. This place is crazy and amazing at the same time! There were soooo many people there. It’s not a place where you go to shop. It’s a place where you know what you want, you get in and get out as quickly as possible. Everyone is always in a hurry. And it’s HUGE!!! Shirin was navigating this place like a pro though. Thank God she was with me because there is NO WAY I could have gotten back out of there myself. She knows this place like the back of her hand as she should since she and her friends go there quite often. She grew up going to this place. I wish I could describe it well enough to give it justice but I can’t. You really have to experience it for yourself. I can’t wait for Mom and Dad to go just to see the look on their faces!! Anyway, I wanted to buy a small red potty like the kids use in the orphanage. Alina is terrified of a regular potty as I mentioned before. I am going to try really hard to get her out of her fear of the big potty by the time we leave Taraz and go to Almaty. If I can’t, I am going to use the little red potty as a backup. It’s small enough to were I could bag it up and put it in my carryon for the plane and airports if I had to. Yes, I know that sounds gross and I will have to clean and sanitize it every time she uses it but I can’t think of anything else I can do. I also bought a stroller. I know she is five and doesn’t need one but I want to try to contain her as much as I can while we are in the big airports. I know at one point when we get off a plane somewhere that she will be sleeping so I wanted it for that purpose as well. And, Mama doesn’t have the Mama muscles built up in her back yet to carry/hold a sleeping, dead weight five year old for three hours while we are waiting to board a plane. Also, I paid half the price I would have paid for a stroller in the US!!! Score one for Mama!!! We can also us it back home when we go to the zoo or other outings. As I said, she is five but her stature is more like a three year old and I know those little legs are going to get tired sometime along the long journey home. I also purchased a fork. I know…I’ve been here for going on seven weeks now why didn’t I buy a fork the first time I went to the Bazaar? I ask that question every time I’m eating my Ramon noodle type lunch with a spoon!!!! Ok…purchases made and we head back out of the craziness of this place. Did I mention that personal space doesn’t exist in Kazakhstan? Yeah…well it’s the worst here. You have people bumping into you right and left and you bumping into other people because they literally cut you off. It’s a mad house!!! We are weaving our way through the gaggle of people and finally make it to were the taxi’s are waiting. Shirin talks to a taxi driver and asks him if he will take me back to the hotel and how much….250 tenge….that’s about $1.85 for a ten minute ride. Not bad, right!!! I say ok and I ask Shirin if she would like us to drop her off at her house but she opts to walk back. She lives very close to the Bazaar. I thank her, give her a hug, and she kisses me on the cheek. This kiss is traditional in Kazakh. You always kiss your friends when you greet them or say goodbye to them. It was the first time she had done it. I felt very privileged that she thought of me as a friend. I jump in the taxi and we’re off. This taxi ride is not as crazy as the ones to Umit believe it or not. The taxi driver starts talking to me in Russian and I say sorry American. I told him I speak a little Kazakh so he starts talking to me in Kazakh and when I understand what he is saying, I try to answer him in the Kazakh I know. He got a real kick out of it! He has the radio on in the car and when he realized I’m American, he switches his music from Kazakh speaking musicians to American songs. How thoughtful was that! We arrive at the hotel, he helps me take the stroller and little red potty out of the car. I thank him in Kazakh and go up to my air conditioned abode.
I should mention that I made a hat yesterday. I turned my dining room in my hotel room into my sewing room. As you all know, I don’t go to the baby house on Tuesdays and Thursdays. Well yesterday, I broke out the new sewing machine that was in my care package (yes, I had my friend Tamela buy another one just like the one I brought and burned up weeks ago because I didn’t use an electrical converter), got the patterns out for the toddlers hats, ironed some fabric, and went to work. It was great fun! I almost made two hats yesterday but I still lack putting the lining in the second one. I’ll finish it on Thursday and take some pics.
That’s all for today. Until Friday….


Cheers,
Alina’s mother…..I love the sound of that!!!

Monday, August 24, 2009

IT'S A GIRL!

Please join me and my family in welcoming our newest family member Alina Jean Yeager. At 3:46 p.m. Kazakhstan time, she was officially declared my daughter for the rest of our lives. She weighs 25 to 30 lbs, is 35” tall and is barely five years old. She has lovely dark brown eyes and beautiful dark brown hair. She is now the proud owner of a mother, two very proud grandparents, a home, a wonderful and loving family, many friends, and two cats…one who will adore her and the other one who will think she’s ok. She is perfect in every way! The labor pains started March 27, 2008 and lasted for 17 months and 27 days. Needless to say, her mother is tired but is doing well and is thrilled to have such a wonderful little girl to light up her life!

Ok…I couldn’t resist. This is as close to a birth announcement as I will ever have so indulge me. Let’s just say I’m thrilled beyond words and am so glad this part of the journey is now complete. It’s been a nerve wrecking eight days and I am ever so glad they are over! Only 15 more days (the appeal period) and Alina will be with me forever. Believe me, I’m counting every single second, minute, and hour. I can’t wait to walk out of those blue and yellow iron gates of the Umit Baby House with Alina’s little brown skin hand in mine!

I had to go back to the court house today. It kind of unnerved me in that I had not heard of anyone having to do this after the final court hearing. Of course, my paranoia was reeling and I thought for sure there was something wrong. I’m usually not a pessimist but this is such a delicate situation and I want this so badly my mind is always looking for something bad to happen. Janette and the driver, whose name I still don’t know after seven weeks, picked me up at 9:30 am as usual to go to the baby house to see Alina. When we picked Shirin up, Janette immediately started talking to her and telling her about the court house trip this afternoon. She told me what Janette said and that’s when my mind starts saying there’s something wrong. I was very quite on the trip to the baby house because I was thinking about the court session this afternoon. We arrived at Umit and Alina and her playmates were outside. Shirin and I just followed the screams and cries of children and found them. I see come running toward me with the wonderful small on her face and all my thoughts about this afternoons court session melt away. We have a good visit. We didn’t stay in our gazebo like we usually do because there were many people there so we opted to take a walk and find a sandbox so we could be alone. We found one but Alina didn’t want to play in the sand so we chose an empty shelter to play in instead. Once again, toys were taken out of the bag, snacks and juice was consumed, and a good time was had by all. She was particularly chatty today, more than usual if you can believe it. I love to hear my little talk and especially laugh. Her laugh, even a snicker, comes from her belly and it’s always so darn cute! She absolutely loves the ladybug toy I bought her a couple of weeks ago. She’s played with it more than any toy in her toy bag. It’s still not “the” toy but I’m glad she is enjoying it. Eleven thirty came and it was time to go. I picked her up and we headed toward her room so she could have lunch. We started walking up the stairs to her room and she started to whimper. I stopped at the top of the stairs, whispered in her ear that I loved her, twice, kissed her on the ear and cheek and sent her on her way. There was a little hesitation from her whether she wanted to eat or stay with her Mama but food wins every time. That’s ok. Soon we’ll be eating at our own dining table and we’ll be having much more than soup and bread. I walked back down to the gazebo and our driver, sans Janette, was waiting for us. We dropped Shirin off and then we headed to the hotel.
Soon after I arrived at the hotel, the phone rang in my room. Puzzled at the ringing phone, I answered it and it was Asell from Interlink. My care package had arrived at the Interlink office!!! WAHOOOO….thanks Rachel and Tamela!!!! As ecstatic as I was to know that it was just down the road from me, I was still thinking about the court session. I asked Asell if I could pick it up on Tuesday as I had to go back to the court house shortly for another court session. She said that was fine. Not five minutes later, Beth, from Interlink, calls me and says she’s got to run some errands and would I like for her to bring it to the hotel. These people are sooooooo nice. I told her I didn’t have the money for it yet but she said that’s ok because she knew where I lived. Gotta love it! Beth and Vicki, a volunteer with Interlink, came about 30 minutes later and delivered it. I will go by the office tomorrow to pay them what I owe them for getting the package for me. It was almost time to go to the court session but I HAD to open my box. I unloaded all the goodies and was blessing Rachel and Tamela the entire time. More clothes and toys for Alina, 70 crocheted/knitted hats for my orphanage donation, hand sanitizer, small tins and boxes so I can put the jewelry I made in them for the gifts, and….drum roll please….the biggest jar of Jiff peanut butter that you can buy (in the grocery store anyway)!!! You know, I always thought I could do without creature comforts. I don’t believe that anymore. Always, always take a little piece of home with you wherever you go. And if you forget to, I hope you have wonderful friends like me who will box them up and ship them to you even if you are half way around the world!!!! You guys rock!!!
It’s 2:10 and I’m being picked up at 2:30 so I have to get a move on. Ten minutes later, I’m dressed and sitting on the bench outside the hotel waiting to be picked up. Janette wasn’t late today and her husband was driving. He drove us to the court house and Farida was walking up at the same time we were. We got there about 20 minutes early so we decided to sit outside and wait until 3:00 (the appointment time of my court session) the court house. At 2:58 we went in and waited maybe five minutes. The Judge was ready to begin…or so I thought. We follow the Judge into the same court room as I had on Friday. She sits down and then so do we. The young prosecutor is not there yet so we will wait on him. Three fifteen and still no prosecutor. Three twenty five…still no prosecutor. The Judge is really getting upset with him but makes a point to chit chat with me so I’m not so nervous. She talks with Janette as well. At one point, she says to me that she has been presiding over adoptions for a long time (I guess I was wrong the other day when I said she was new to adoption proceedings). She continued to say that that my adoption was the best she’s ever presided over. She liked the way that Alina and I interacted on Friday and she saw how happy Alina was with me. She said that I was the best choice for a mother for Alina. Well, I’m about in tears but I hold it together and tell her thank you. She also said that she knew about Alina before this proceeding. She knew that she had been shown to many people who wanted to adopt and when they didn’t choose her, she would cry and ask why didn’t want her. Well I’m about to just lose it but once again I keep it together somehow. Right then and there, I knew Alina was mine. I knew this Judge was going to give her blessing no matter what anybody else in this court room said. But, I wasn’t rejoicing just yet. Three thirty…still no prosecutor. Now the Judge is really becoming more upset with him. At one point she said she was going to kill him. She also started apologizing profusely to me. I told her it was ok. A representative of the Guardianship Council was suppose to be in court today too. She was just to busy to attend so the Judge said not to worry about it. But, she was going to tell the prosecutor that the GC woman was there before him, gave her approval (which she actually did on Friday) and had to leave…just a little white lie. She then said that she is not so formal in the adoption sessions as she is in other court situations. She realizes how nervous the adoptive parents are and she wants us to relax and not to be nervous. I thanked her for all of us adoptive parents for being so considerate of us. She then starts talking about a Kazakh tradition of the great grandmother (which Alina has) and the great grandchild. Most woman do not get to become great grandmothers but if they do, if they will drink a sip of water from the great grandchild’s hand, they are permitted to enter paradise. How cool is that! We may carry on that tradition at the family reunion in October. More chit chat (she’s a very funny lady) and now it’s 3:40. The young prosecutor steps into the room and apologizes profusely but the Judge will not have it. She lays into him about being late and how dare he make me wait for him. Yikes! I don’t think I would want to be on her bad side. Anyway, he grabs some paperwork from her, stands up and says that all the paperwork is in order and that he approves of the adoption (this takes maybe 30 seconds!). The Judge gets up from her seat, collects her papers and the prosecutors papers without looking him in the eye or saying one word to him, and heads out the door. That’s two yeses for me and Alina…prosecutor and the GC. Now all the Judge has to do is sign the proclamation papers and it’s official which she will do at the end of the day. We all know what the Judge’s decision is so now it is official…..I AM ALINA’S MOTHER but I didn‘t know it yet!!!!!!!!! At this point, I’m so confused. What just happened? Did anything happen? Where’s the fireworks??? Where’s the marching band??? I followed the procession out of the court room and outside. Janette and Farida were with me. Janette stops on the steps of the court house (do all court houses have steps?) and tells Farida to tell me that she will get the proclamation today and do the rest of the paperwork that needs to be done and everything is fine. I looked at Farida and said, “So, does this mean I’m Alina’s mother?” Farida smiled and answered yes. She then told Janette what I said and Janette answered yes, yes, yes. I looked at Janette and said, “Can I scream now?” Janette said yes. We all laughed and continued to walk toward our vehicles. Farida tells me that I am a very brave woman and that I am a hero. I say I’m just me but thank her for saying such a thing. She congratulates me again and we part ways. Janette and I take a taxi back to the hotel and Farida jumps in her car to head home I’m assuming. We get to the hotel and Janette tries to tell me something. Unless she can say it in French, I don’t have any idea what she is saying. I say let’s call Shirin. Can’t get Shirin on the phone so she calls her daughter Iema who speaks English as well. We talk about visiting Wednesday and Friday of this week and the same schedule as this week next week. I give Janette a small hug, thank her again, and I’m off to my room to try to collect my thoughts. While I’m collecting my thoughts, I break open the new jar of Jiff and make myself a sandwich. I pop open the last Kazakh beer in the frig and have a snack. Then I decide I’d better write this post so I wouldn’t forget anything. So…..now you have it!! Thanks to you all (I know I keep saying this but I could not have survived here in Taraz without each and every one of you!) for keeping up with our journey and all the good vibes sent our way. Until Wednesday…..

Cheers,
Alina Jean Yeager’s MOTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, August 21, 2009

THE BIG DAY

Well, it’s here. The infamous court session that all Kazakhstan adoptive parents wait for with baited breath. Today is the day an official of the Kazakhstan judicial system asks me more questions, sizes me up, makes sure all my paperwork is in order and then she MAY approve me to adopt a child from Kazakhstan that I’ve have bonding with for the last 45 days. Am I nervous? Do I have to answer that question? Okay…..HELL YES I’m nervous! This is it….this is the moment I’ve been waiting for for three years! The moment that I’ve proved to everybody under the sun in the USA and Kazakhstan that I am sane, make enough money to support a child, I’m a good person, I’m adopting for the right reasons, I have a good family and support system, I have a stable job, I am not a criminal as proved by the FBI AND Shelby County Tennessee, I will write post adoption reports until the child reaches 18, I own my own home WITH a bathroom, etc., etc., etc. Can we just do this and let Alina and I get on with our lives please? One more hoop to jump through and, hopefully, this is the last hoop because my legs are getting really tired!
I was told to meet the driver and Janette outside the hotel at 1:15 p.m. The court session isn’t until 2:00 but getting there early is probably a good idea. I took it easy this morning…slept in, watched some soccer on Kazakh TV, had breakfast and then around 11:30, I started to get ready. I had laid my court clothes out the night before so they were all ready to go. I hopped in the shower, blow dried my hair, brushed my teeth, put my clothes on, put my makeup on and was ready by 1:00. It usually doesn’t take me that long to get ready but I was trying to take my time to calm my nerves. Did I mention that I was nervous? Anyway, I decided to head downstairs and sit on one of the benches outside of the hotel and wait for my chariot and charioteer. It’s not to hot outside so my makeup won’t melt off and there is a nice breeze blowing but it’s not blowing to hard so it won’t mess up my hair. Gotta look perfect ya know!! : ) Well, 1:15 comes and goes and still no minivan or coordinator. Ok, Janette has had to do some last minute paperwork or something I tell myself. She’s never been late to pick me up so she’ll be here, right? It’s now 1:25 and I’m starting to panic. Where the hell is Janette? She’s never late and she chooses the most important day of my life to be late? Oh my God…what if she’s been in a car accident? What if the driver didn’t show up to pick her up? What if…what if…what if…what if!!!!!! All of these what if’s are going around in my head. I’m now so nervous I’m rocking back and forth on the bench like some insane person in an asylum! I think banging my head on the concrete will be next if Janette doesn’t get here soon. One thirty…still no Janette. One thirty five…still not Janette. Finally at 1:40, Janette and the minivan pull up to the hotel. Thanks be to God because I was ready to walk to the court house. It was close enough to the hotel that it would take me about 20 minutes to walk it…I could do it, right? Anyway, I hold my tongue, get in the minivan, say hello with a smile and we are off. But, not to the court house. We have to stop by the Ministry of Education first and pick up a member of the Guardianship Council to represent me in court. Okay, fine. She is a very nice young lady and she was at the pre-court session on Wednesday…the one in the yellow blouse. I didn’t put it together until just now who she was but she was one of the members of my Guardianship Council. After she gets in the minivan, I’m hoping we are heading to the court house because now it’s 1:45. I’m thinking we are going to be late to the court session and the Judge is going to be angry blah, blah, blah. I tell myself to trust Janette. She’s been doing this for years now and, as I’ve said in posts before, NOTHING starts on time in Kazakhstan.
We arrive at the court house at 1:55. Farida, my court translator, is standing outside and greets us as we walk up. She, Janette, and the GC lady start talking, in Russian of course, and I’m just standing there wondering why aren’t entering the court house. Farida finally turns to me and says that the court house doesn’t even open until 2:00 and we are waiting for the Judge to go over my paperwork again. We are also waiting on the prosecutor. Waiting…haven’t I done enough of that? Please, Please can we just get this over with? My dress shoes are killing me (I’m a tennis shoe person ya’ll!!)!!! The director of the Umit also has yet to arrive. It’s 2:15...the baby house director is there (and wearing a very nice light tan linen skirt suit with a lacy blouse…she’s a big girl like me and she looked very pretty in this outfit) so we all decide to go in and have a seat on one of the wooden benches next to the half wall inside. There is a large, bottle blonde Russian women speaking very loudly to a woman who is sitting beside her. There are two men sitting behind us that are also speaking Russian. The room is full with Kazakh and Russian people, all waiting their turn to see a Judge for some reason or another. I’m still so nervous and I really can’t talk to anyone so I pull my homemade Kazakh dictionary out and study it (I’ve been collecting Kazakh words and phrases over the last month and a half. The words are so I can communicate with Alina when we leave the orphanage…stop, don’t cry, are you hungry?, good girl, please, will you drink?, come here, and so forth and so on. I always have it in my purse and if I want to tell her something during our visit, if I don’t remember it, I’ll pull my little dictionary out and tell her. Shirin has helped me develop it. I write down the word in English and right beside it, I write down phonetically how to say it in Kazakh . It’s really quite helpful and I thought it might impress the Judge. I plan on pulling it out sometime today. Hey, every little thing counts!). We sit on the very uncomfortable wooden benches for about 15 minutes. I hear something shouted in Russian and my entourage of people get up and start to move toward the official looking man sitting at the reception desk. I, of course, follow them. The official guy at the desk let’s us pass and we walk along the half wall and take the first court room to our left. It’s across the hall from the pre-court court room. It is a carbon copy of Wednesday’s room. The Judge, who was my Judge on Wednesday, is already there sitting behind her desk and so is the prosecutor who looks to be about 22 or 23. The court secretary is not there yet but arrives soon after we do. Farida and I take seats on one side and my entourage take seats on the other side of the court room. The Judge introduces herself again and then intros the prosecutor and secretary. She tells me they are officials of the court and they are here to make sure everything goes according to the rules. She asks me if I trust them to do so. Lady, what do you think I’m gonna say? That’s what I was thinking in my head but my mouth said yes, of course. Then, Farida had to sign a paper saying that she will translate to me exactly what everyone says. I was expecting the session to begin but the Judge had some things to say to the GC lady and the director of the baby house. It seems that they had translated some documents into Russian when they should have translated them into Kazakh. This must be a new rule because the GC lady and director seemed unaware of this and of course agreed to do it from now on. This conversation lasted about 10 minutes. The Judge was very matter of fact and did raise her voice a couple of times. So, I’m sitting here thinking, “Crap!! You’ve pissed this Judge off! Now she’s going to be in a bad mood for my court! UUUGGGHHH!!!” After this conversation was over, the expression on my face must have been a very concerned look (can you say deer in the headlights?). The Judge took one look at me and told me that she wanted to apologize for the conversation and it had nothing to do with me and that the persons she was talking to needed to know this information. Whew! Ok, I’m thinking, lets get this session started. And, we do.
The first thing the Judge says that this is my court session and it will be more formal than Wednesday. When she starts to ask me questions, I will stand at the podium (all of this is being translated by Farida to me). Farida tells me to go and stand at the podium. She did not follow me and I thought oh no, I’m going to have to stand up here by myself? But, the Judge told her to come and stand beside me. Again, the inquisition begins….

Q: Why do you want to adopt?
(Lady, I gave you my answer to this question on Wednesday but if you think I’ve changed my mind since then, I guess I’ll tell you again. Of course, this is what I was thinking NOT what I said.)

A: The obvious reason is that I want to become a mother and adoption was the best choice for me. Since I am an older woman, there are to many health risks for the baby and me if I were to have a baby. I have been working on my career and have a stable, good paying job and a house of my own and I feel this is the next step I want to take in my life. I also want to give my
mother and father a grandchild.

The Judge then realized she had asked me that question on Wednesday. She then looks out the windows in the room and acts as if she is trying to think of another question to ask me.

Q: Why do you want to adopt internationally? Why do you not want to adopt from your own country?

A: For one, I can get a much healthier child internationally (I didn’t go on to explain my answer here. What I was getting at was I have less, much less, of a chance adopting a child that had a mother/father addicted to drugs or alcohol. I should have said that. Oh well, hind sight….) And, the international adoption process is faster than in the US.

Then the Judge starts telling me that she read that a prostitute in the US had a baby and gave it up for adoption. Ten years later, she found the adoptive parents and wanted the child back and the courts gave it to her. I told the Judge that it happens quite frequently (it just happened in Memphis a couple of years ago) and that’s another reason why I wanted to adopt internationally. I didn’t want someone knocking on my door three years from now saying I want my child back. I didn’t want to put that type of stress on the child or myself. She seemed to like this answer a lot (YES, SCORE!!!).

Q: How long does it take to adopt in the US?

A: At least 2 to 5 years. (I know it’s longer sometimes but I had to make a quick estimate.)

The Judge then remarked that the process is faster and easier in Kazakhstan and I agreed. She then said that I had answered her all of her questions and that she thought my answers were good. She asked Farida and me to take our seats.
It is now the entourages turn to stand at the podium. The GC lady is up first. As she would speak, Farida would translate for me. Basically, the GC lady said that they (all four GC members) agreed that I was to be approved to adopt a child from Kazakhstan. The Judge asked her a few more questions which Farida did not translate for me. I assume the GC lady answered them to the satisfaction of the Judge. After the GC lady, the director of the orphanage got up and started to talk. She starts saying to the Judge that Alina has been offered to many families in Kazakhstan and no one has wanted to adopt her. She has also been shown to many internationally couples and, again, no one wanted to adopt her. The director goes on to say, “She has developmental delays and even though she is five, she looks more like a three year old. She also has a skin disease. Alina has a very good personality. She has been at the baby house since she was born. She was brought to the baby house when she was five days old by the local police. Her mother gave a fake name and address. No family has come to look for her or claim her. She has lived in the orphanage her entire life and she deserves a family.” See, I knew this woman wasn’t as hard as she looks!! God love her!!! She still intimidates the hell out of me though. That was all that was said by the director. I thought Janette would have to get up and say something but she didn’t. The Judge had no further questions for any of us so she dismissed us and would meet us at the baby house. Thank God that’s over! I will not be as nervous at the baby house as I was in the court room. I feel like that’s my territory were the court room is the Judges territory. Plus, I can’t let Alina feel my nervousness.
I’d brought a change of clothes and some tennis shoes with me along with Alina’s toys and snacks. I left those bags in the minivan during court. But, to my surprise, the Judge and the GC lady were riding in the van to the baby house and Janette and I were riding with Farida. The director drove her own car. Janette, Farida, and I were the first to arrive. As we are walking down the hallway, Janette told me to go into an official looking room. I have passed by this room many times taking Alina to her room to go to the bathroom. No one is ever in there and I’ve never seen any children in there either. As I walk through the double glass paned doors, to the left is a computer desk with a computer, books, papers, etc. The long wall to your left is lined half way with bookshelves. Children’s toys and books are neatly arranged on the shelves. The other half of the wall has a desk sitting against it loaded with paperwork. In the middle of the back wall, sits an official looking desk with the Kazakhstan seal on the wall above it and a Kazakhstan flag to the left. In front of the desk, is a long conference type table. The table butts up to the desk and forms the shape of a T. Soon, there will be blue foam chairs lining this conference type table (the chairs had just been washed on Wednesday and had been sitting in the sun drying since then). Along the other long wall, is a bank of windows (again no lights were on in this room) and one lounge chair and two long sofas. There was an air conditioner in one of the windows. It was turned on in preparation for the meeting with the judge. As I took a seat on the sofa, a flurry of activity was happening in the “official” room. A woman was barking orders at some people and bringing the blue foam chairs into the room and placing them at the table. She grabbed her purse which was sitting on a desk against the left wall and took it somewhere else. She came back in and started straightening things up in the room and turned the AC on. I just about fainted when she did that! You won’t turn it on for the kids but you will turn it on for the Judge? Hmmm…what’s wrong with this picture. Anyway, I’m just sitting there watching all of this unfold and trying to relax when the GC lady walks in. Janette has disappeared and Farida went to get Alina who should have just finished her nap (thank goodness she will be in a good mood). The GC lady comes over and sits by me. I nod my head at her and she nods back. We sit there silently for a minute or so and then she starts talking to me in English. I knew she could understand it but I didn’t know she could speak it. She asks me what I teach at the University. I tell her and she seems confused. She then says that she knows English but feels like she doesn’t know it well enough to speak it. I told her the same thing I told Vicente….don’t be afraid to speak it because it’s the best way to learn English. I told her to please do not feel self conscience around me about her English. She smiled and said that her friend also studied English and could we get together sometime and talk. Of course I said yes and I really did mean it. I really hope she contacts me again before Alina and I leave. I would love to help her and her friend with their English. As we are talking, the Kazakh doctor (the one who jumped on to me for letting Alina be in wet clothes) comes in and takes a seat at the conference table. I say, “salem-metz-ez-bah” which is a formal greeting in Kazakh. She nods her head and smiles. In comes the director who has changed out of her linen skirt suit into a more comfortable but nice dress, the court secretary, the Judge, and the woman who decides which children are chosen to be put up for adoption at Umit. I haven’t seen her since I got here in July. She smiles at me and I smile back. They all join the doctor at the table. By this time, Janette has returned and is sitting on the sofa a little ways from the GC lady and me. The Judge wants to get started so paperwork starts flying. Everyone has a folder with them and they all open them and start shuffling them toward the Judge. Just then, Farida returns with my girl. All the nervousness and tension I felt before has just flown out the window. She’s dressed in her birthday outfit complete with orange socks and the shoes I bought her. She doesn’t see me right away and just walks into the room. But, when she does, she has the biggest smile on her face and starts running toward me. I say, “Mama’s I-deeah-ma kuz” which means Mama’s pretty girl in Kazakh (Yes…BIG brown spot on my nose at this time. I want to use as much Kazakh as I know when the Judge is watching Alina and me). She runs into my arms and all who are sitting at the table turn and watch us. They see how Alina reacts to me and they all have big smiles on their faces. Way to go kiddo!!! I think you’ve just won Mama’s case for her!!!! Since I rode with Farida, I didn’t get a chance to get the snacks and juice out of the minivan before the meeting. I had debated on whether to keep them in my purse the whole time or not but opted to put them in my change of clothes bag. Oh well. Alina starts talking right away to me and sits on my lap without any fuss not that she usually fusses when she wants to sit on my lap. Everyone at the table is still looking at us. Janette tells Alina to “su-e-shuh” Mama which means give Mama a kiss and she does. The people at the table are ahhhing by this point. Thanks Janette!!! The Judge et al go back to shuffling their papers and Alina is getting restless. So, I pick her up and we go over to the shelves where the toys and books are. I’m talking to her and she’s pointing and I’m asking her to say book, dog, etc. She chooses a small book and we go and sit back down in the lounge chair next to the desk and table. She looks through it and it’s a book about a cat and a dog and some ducks. She wanted to show Janette so she gets down off my lap and goes to show Janette her book. She doesn’t come back to me but opts to sit on the sofa almost under the air conditioner. I don’t mind but the doctor tells Farida that Alina needs to move because of the cold air. Alina looks at me and I say “keel-shuh” which means come here please in Kazakh (BIG BIG brown spot on the nose now). She comes to me and I ask her to sit on my lap again (oi-tur (roll the r)) and she does so happily. After a few minutes, I pick her back up and we go over to the book shelves again to pick another toy. It seems the book has outlived its usefulness. The people at the table are still shuffling papers and, I’m sure, keeping an eye on Alina and me. I put the book back in it’s place and pick something else up to hand to Alina. She doesn’t want it and wants the book back so I get it for her. We come back to our seat but I keep standing because the Judge asks Alina a question: Where’s you mother? Alina smiles that impish smile of hers and pats me on the chest and says, “Mein mama” my mother. Again, everyone at the table smiles. The Judge then asks Alina if she had a good mother and she did the shy thing again but shook her head yes. Thanks kiddo…I believe you just sealed the deal!!! I gave her a peck on the cheek and put her down. The Judge then asked me if I had been learning Kazakh. I told her yes. Then, Janette asks me if I’m learning Kazakh in Kazakh and I freeze. What the hell had this lady just said to me? My mind is blank. Farida then speaks up and says she asked me if I was learning Kazakh. I laugh and lower my head (in embarrassment really) and answer “ee-ya” which means yes in Kazakh. Then, I pulled out my homemade Kazakh dictionary (YES!!!! I knew I would work this in somehow today!!!). Farida came to my side to translate for me while Janette entertained Alina. I told the Judge about the dictionary and she seemed impressed. After a few more papers were shuffled, the Judge looked at me and asked me if I knew about Alina’s illnesses. I told her yes and that I live in a city with two of the best children’s hospitals in the US. I had been in contact with the people that I know there and they assured me that they can help Alina. After that, it seemed to be all over. The Judge had seen what she needed to see, gathered the papers she needed to gather, and told me that she wanted to make sure that all the paperwork was in order and that she would give me a decision on Monday (Darn!! I was hoping that she would give me one today). Everyone left the room and Alina and I went toward our gazebo for the rest of our visit.
As we were walking toward the gazebo, the woman who decides which children are put up for adoption was behind me. She walks beside me and says, “Kimberly, congratulations”, smiles at me and shakes my hand. I said thank you and walked on to the gazebo and she walked back to her office. Now, am I to assume that I’m approved by the Judge and just don’t know it yet? I don’t know how to take what she said to me but it can’t be anything but positive. I really think the Judge wants to make sure all the paperwork on the orphanage’s end is in order because she’s already told me that my dossier was good. Let’s hope that’s all it is and Alina and I will be, “officially” mother and daughter on Monday. Everyone PLEASE keep your fingers crossed. I don’t know what I would do if these people didn’t let me adopt this wonderful child. Someone would have to drag me back to Memphis because I would be nothing but a big ole’ lump of craziness. Please God…let this happen….let this child have a home and permit me to be her mother…Amen.
Alina and I got to visit for another 40 minutes or so. The first thing I did when I got to the gazebo was to take my damn dress shoes off!!! I brought tennis shoes to change into. I didn’t change into my jeans. Alina ate her snacks, drank her apple juice and rode the tricycle a bit while Mama pushed it for her. Our 40 minutes went by quickly and I turned around and it was time to go. When Alina realized what was happening, she started to protest by being a wiggle worm in my arms and whimpering. I held her to me and just whispered in her ear that I loved her and I would see her soon. I carried her up to her room and sat her down in front of the doorway. She did not want to let me go today and I didn’t want to let her go either. She didn’t even walk into the room. She immediately turned around, reached up for me, and had tears in her eyes. I picked her up and gave her a squeeze and a kiss on the cheek. I then took her over to one of the lounge chairs in the foyer to her playroom. I sat her down to lots of protest and crying but I put my hand on her tummy and told her to stop please “coy-shuh”. She did stop fighting but not crying. I took her shoes off and placed them in line with the others. I picked her up again, gave her a kiss and placed her inside the doorway to her room. Instead of making my usual quick exit, I lingered at the doorway for a second or two. She looked back at me with those sad puppy dog eyes. I waved goodbye to her. She looked back at her playmates and I was gone in a flash. She had no choice but to go and be with her playmates. Seventeen more days little one and you will never have to make that choice again! Only 17 more days!

If you’ve made it this far, I’m oh so proud of you! This is the longest post yet but probably one of the most important ones. Thanks so much for being a part of our adoption journey. I look forward to sharing our good news, hopefully, on Monday. Until then….

Much love,
Kim and Alina

Friday, August 21, 2009

Hello all!!

It's been a very long and emotional day for me so I'm going to post more about the court session later. I think things went well but of course I'm still worried (that's just me being paranoid). I didn't get a decision today because the prosecutor of the court wants to make sure all the paperwork is in order. He is new to to the adoption arena and very young but I should get a definite decision from the Judge on Monday (this is very common to have to wait over the weekend for a decision). Thanks to all for your thoughts and prayers. Now I need to go have a few Kazakh beers and wind down. Details coming this weekend...promise!!

Much love,
Kim and Alina

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

PRE-COURT

I was not as nervous this time as I was for the Guardianship Council meeting. I was told that pre-court was much like the GC meeting and it sort of was. Don’t get me wrong, I was nervous and really didn’t sleep last night. Janette and our faithful driver picked me up in the minivan at 9:15 a.m. from the hotel. We went to the Ministry of Education (this is where all the paperwork for adoptions are processed) and the minivan stopped. Janette got out and I started to get out too but she said no…no and so I closed the door and sat back in my seat. I think the driver could sense my nervousness and decided to turn on some music. I’m glad he did. We, the driver and I, waited for what seemed like forever (I just wanted to get this pre-court session over with) but in reality, it was only about 10 minutes. Janette comes back with a lady who will represent the Ministry of Education in the pre-court session. Our driver proceeds to take us to the court house. Outside the court house, we meet up with Farida who is a translator (I’ve mentioned her before). Shirin did not come with us. Since I am the first person Shirin has translated for, I think Janette thinks she doesn’t have enough experience to translate for pre-court and court (that’s a shame because she did a great job in the GC meeting and I think she could handle it but it’s not my call). Therefore, Farida, who has a lot of experience being a translator, will be my pre-court and court translator. About Farida…she is the nicest person you will ever meet! She always, always has a smile on her face and asks how you are doing. She takes deep breaths when she is talking English and is very animated with her hands, body, and face. She has been a translator for a while and I think she is very good at it even though she apologized to me right off the bat. She said to excuse her but her English is not perfect and that she may not always say the word correctly or speak the exact pronunciation. I told her I grew up speaking English and sometimes I don’t know how to say the word correctly or the exact pronunciation! That made her laugh. I just wanted to let her know that I am not judgmental about things like that and to just be herself around me.
Next, we proceed into the foyer of the court house. There are wooden benches, a half wall, and a reception desk in front of us as we walk in the door. A very official looking man in a policeman’s uniform is seated at the desk. There are many people sitting on the wooden benches and standing in line at the desk. As I walk in the door, I feel like every one is looking at me. I should be used to these stares by now since I’ve been in this country going on seven weeks now. I notice it for about a minute, then I dismiss it and blame noticing it on my nervousness. Just inside the door to the left is a glass and wooden wall painted white and another wooden bench. The lady from the Ministry of Education takes a seat at the wooden bench by the glass and wooden wall while Janette goes to the reception desk and makes a phone call to someone, I’m assuming, telling them that we are here. Lord knows who she knows here. I think this woman must have connections everywhere. Good thing she likes me! After Janette makes her phone call, she joins the Ministry of Education woman on the bench. They tell me to sit but I am to nervous and Farida relates this to them for me. As we wait, Farida starts to ask me some questions that she thinks the Judge may ask in the pre-court session. Questions like, when I was born, where do I work, who will take care of Alina when I’m at work/after work, how old are my parents, what do my parents do, how much money do I make, am I a teacher, and so on and so on. I can tell that Farida likes to be informed and prepared for anything. She reassures me that everything will be fine and things will go okay. A young woman in a yellow cotton shirt and black skirt walks in and starts talking to Janette. She is very pretty and reminds me of one of my grad students from a few years ago. Then, the director of the orphanage walks in. I’m a little intimidated by this woman. She is very harsh looking and never smiles. At the orphanage, all I’ve heard her say is very harsh words to the staff members but she is very kind to the children and has a special place in her heart for my Alina. By the time the director walks in, Janette has disappeared. She had gone outside to make a phone call. While we were waiting, I told Farida that I had brought a photo album with me incase the Judge asked to see more photos than what was in the dossier. I pulled them out and started showing them to her. The young lady in the yellow shirt comes over and looks at the photos with us. She understands English but I don’t think she can speak it or can speak it well enough to say anything. I go through the album which has pictures of Mom and Dad, the family, the house (front, back, inside), and Alina’s room. I told Farida that I hand painted all the bugs in the boarder of Alina’s room. She then proceeds to show and tell the director about it. She looks at the pictures and just nods her head as Farida is telling her about my handiwork. No smile or anything. Oh well. Just then, our case was called. We might have waiting 10 minutes. We walked past the reception desk, behind the half wall and was led into one of the small court rooms down the hall. I know all the people sitting in the wooden benches were saying….why are they getting to go in? They should have Janette handle their paperwork : ) !!!
In the courtroom, there is the Judges desk sitting on a 5” high platform in the center of the wall to our left as we walk in. To our right, on one side of the room is the prosecutors desk and on the other is a place for the court secretary. In the middle of the room, is a podium. Behind the podium, the rest of the room is filled with six wooden benches, three on each side of the room. Janette and the official ladies sit on one side and Farida and I sit on the other in the back row. The room is about 18’ x 18’ and yeah, there are no lights in this room…no florescence or incandescence. Only a bank of five windows ceiling to mid wall on one side of the room. I guess Taraz doesn’t have night court….teehee….sorry, couldn’t resist!!! Anyway, Janette and the official ladies are chatting a bit and so are Farida and I. Farida gets a notebook out and starts to look over some words that she has written down…again, always preparing. We wait about five or so minutes and the Judge comes into the room. We all stand to show our respect. She is dressed in an official Judges robe just like in the US but hers is a nice maroon color. She is a very nice looking woman probably in her mid to late 50’s. She reminds me of my friend and mentor, Rebecca Pettys. She is of Kazakh nationality but has turned her black Kazakh hair into a nice reddish brown with highlights around her face. The colors suit her well. She has a very kind face which I’m glad to see. I know she is one of the “good” Judges just by looking at her. I’ve heard some Judges are just terrible and don’t really like the fact that foreigners are adopting Kazakh children but I don’t get this feeling from this Judge. She asks the court secretary to see if the prosecutor can come to the court room. The secretary is gone for one minute and returns, says something to the Judge and then we proceed. Next, she asks me to move to a bench in front so she can see my face. Farida and I do so. She starts out by saying that this is not a court hearing and that she just wants to have a conversation with me. I thought how thoughtful that she is so considerate toward me. She knows that I’m probably very nervous and she is trying to help me not to be so nervous. I was very impressed. I was expecting a sort of brash, official tone of the pre-court and court Judge but am pleasantly surprised. She then continues to say that she has looked over all my documents and they are all correct and in order (YEAH!!!). She then starts to ask me some questions. Even though I’m speaking English, I look at her when I am answering her questions and also when she is asking me questions and Farida is translating for both of us. She asks me:

Q: Why are you adopting a child with Asian features?

A: It’s a child who needs a home. It doesn’t matter what they look like to me.

Q: Yes, but some people who adopt Asian featured children have problems with other people when the children grow up because they are darker than there parents.

A: I understand that and I have read many stories about those situations and feel prepared when or if that time comes. (OOOO…good answer….score one for Mama!) I have many friends with Asian children and she will have many playmates that look like her.

Q: Does your family support your decision to adopt?

A: Yes. They are all very excited about it.

Q: And your parents?

A: Yes, they are very excited as well.

Q: You have been told of her illnesses?

A: Yes. (Darn…should have mentioned something about La Bonheur and St. Jude Hospitals in Memphis. Crap!!!)

Q: Why did you wait so long to adopt?

A: I was working on my career and I wanted to make sure I had a home and a stable job. I feel like adopting a child is the next step I am to take in my life.
(An ok answer but I should have thrown something in there about wanting to become a mother. Darn it!)

Farida then said that the Judge would like to see my pictures. I asked to approach the bench and she waved at me to come to her desk. Farida follows me. The Judge flips open the photo album and the first picture is of my Mom and Dad. I tell her these are my parents. I try to score a few brownie points and say “ata” and “aje” (grandpa and grandma in Kazakh). She nods her head. She says how nice looking they are and that they are young looking. The next couple of pictures are Mom, Dad, and myself that were taken during our cruise to Alaska when we were all gussied up for the Captains dinner. I made Dad rent a Tux, I made Mom’s dress and I had a black dress on with a animal print scarf on (my hair was really long then too!). I told the Judge that I had made Mom’s dress. She seemed impressed. The next few pictures were of my Mom’s brothers and sisters and the only living grandparent I have which is my Mom’s Mom. These were taken at a family reunion a couple of years ago. I also told this to the Judge. Then there were pictures of the house, inside and out, yard, etc that the Judge had seen before because they were in my dossier. She loved the colors of the living room and kitchen and she said it looked like her house (SCORE BIG TIME!!!!). I then told her that I designed and painted the kitchen myself and that my Dad and I put in the cabinetry ourselves. She then flipped through the pictures of Alina’s room. I told her that I hand painted all the bugs in the boarder and that the theme of the room was taken from the curtain fabric. She said that I was a good designer. Farida and I then went back to our seats. The Judge then asked if I had any questions and I said no. She then turns to Janette and the official ladies. They take care of some paperwork business. The court date is set for Friday, August 21st at 2:00 p.m. She then thanked all of us and dismissed us. I thanked her as I was exiting the court room but she was talking with Janette so I don’t know if she heard me. This nice lady Judge (thank the Lord in Heaven!!!) will be the Judge, along with two others I believe, at my court session on Friday.
We walk back down the hall along the half wall, pass the reception desk and people sitting on wooden benches and head out the door. I thought it went very well and Farida did too. Janette was right behind us and asked if I would like to go to see Alina in the afternoon since we had pre-court this morning. I, of course, said yes not only because I want to see my baby girl but if I wait until Friday before I visit her, she will be upset like she was last Monday. On Friday after court, the Judge will come to the baby house and see Alina and I interact. I want to make sure Alina is in a good mood when that happens. So yes, I want to go see Alina today. Janette says she will pick me up at 2:30. We walk down the steps of the court house to the minivan. I thank Farida profusely and told her I would see her Friday at 2:00. Janette, the young lady in the yellow shirt, the Ministry of Education woman and myself hop into the minivan. I am taken back to the hotel. I thank everyone when I get out and come back to the room to write this post because if I wait until after I visit Alina, I will not remember half of what went on in the pre-court session.

TODAY’S VISIT WITH MY GIRL

I thought I wasn’t going to get to visit Alina today but it turns out I did. I’m sure it will cost me an extra $40 but I shouldn’t complain. I was picked up at the hotel at 2:30 and carted off to the orphanage along with Shirin, Iema (Janette’s daughter), and granddaughter (I don’t know her name). We arrived at Umit about 2:40. Janette needed to do some paperwork so she left Shirin and I at the baby house for the visitation period. We went up to Alina’s room and they were all still taking their nap. Shirin and I went back down to the gazebo and talked for a little bit. Shirin then said she would go ask when we could go get Alina. The Kazakh people are extremely impatient but in this instance, I wasn’t complaining. Shirin leaves me and comes back very shortly. She said we could go get her at 3:00. At 3:00 on the dot, I was waiting in the foyer to Alina’s room. We got there just in time to see her in her undies running to the bathroom. I think the nanny’s woke her up earlier since I was there. She ran to the bathroom, ran back to the caretaker and got dressed, came out into the foyer and I helped her put her shoes on. She then reached up for me and smiled a big smile. I scooped her up and we went to the gazebo for our playtime.
I brought peach juice today which she really didn’t like. She drank about three drinks of it and that was it. Most of the snacks were eaten though. It took her a few minutes to wake up. She was very quite and wanted to be held by her Mama. It was quite nice for me. After she did finally get out of her sleepiness, she unloaded the toy bag and noticed that I had put a longer string on the new ladybug toy. After chowing down on some more of her snacks, she said she wanted to go play in the sand. We picked up the stacking cups and off we went to find a sandbox.
It was very strange around the orphanage this afternoon. There were no children outside playing and it was pretty quite. Usually, the air is filled with laughter, crying, and the occasional shout from a caretaker telling a little one to stop it, come here, or don’t do that. It was nice actually because Alina and I had the whole play areas to ourselves. She chose a sand box and threw the stacking cups inside. She then wanted me to take her shoes and socks off so I did. She steeped in to the sand box. Where she had stepped, the sand was hot from the sun so she quickly took her foot out. She then pointed to a place in the sand box where there was shade, pointed to me as if to say, “Mama will this sand here not be hot?” and I said, “ee-yah” which means yes in Kazakh. I have such a smart little girl! She climbs in the sand box and so do I. We sit there filling each others cups up with sand. First, I would fill her cup up and then she would fill my cup up. We went back and forth for a good five minutes or so doing this. She was jibber jabbering the whole time. It was great fun and it was just the two of us. Shirin had stayed with our other stuff back at the gazebo. I love it when it just us two and we get Mommy and Me time together. We played in the sand for about 20 minutes and then we went back to the gazebo. She climbed out of the sand box and wanted me to put her shoes and socks back on. Well, I put one sock on and then started to put her shoe on. OH NO….that’s not how it’s done. It’s socks first then the shoes. Ok…sorry miss anal retentive!!! She would not have it that I wanted to put her shoe on before her other sock was on her other foot. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing yet. I guess time will tell.
We got back to the gazebo and Janette had returned from her paperwork excursion and taking Iema to the doctor. While Iema was in the US working this summer, she had a car accident and banged her right wrist up and is now receiving physical therapy. More snacks are consumed and Alina chats with Iema. At one point, Iema is talking to her and Alina gets all shy. She is sitting in my lap eating her snacks when Iema talks to her about something (I don’t know what they were talking about) and she smiles and ducks her little head into my chest. It was the first time I had seen her act this way. Shirin and I looked at each other and smiled. We were both surprised at her shy reaction. It was quite cute I thought and she kept burying her head into my chest for a few minutes.
Janette comes into the gazebo and says in 10 minutes we need to leave because she has more paperwork to drop off for Alina and needs to do it before 5:00. So I put some Aquafor on Alina’s arms and legs and some Neosporin on her face. I gather her up in my arms, tell her to say bye bye to everyone in the gazebo and I carry her toward her room. She’s whining a bit about not wanting to leave me but not much. I keep telling her that I see her on Friday and it will be ok. We go upstairs to her room and I kiss her on the cheek and put her down in the doorway of her room. She wants to take her shoes off before she goes in because all the other kids have theirs off. Apparently, they are not allowed in the room they play and sleep in with shoes on because everyone’s shoes are lined up in a perfect little line in the foyer to the room. I help her take her shoes off. She then reaches up for me with a sad puppy dog look in those beautiful brown eyes of hers but I know she has to go. I give her a kiss and set her down inside the room this time. I say bye bye again and she slowly goes into the room to play with her playmates. I think she didn’t know if she wanted to play with her playmates or if she wanted to stay with her Mama. As I always do when I deliver her to her room, I quickly make an exit so she will have no choice but to go into the room with her playmates. Only 17 more days kiddo and you will never have to make that kind of choice again! You will be mine forever!!!!!
While Alina was sitting on my lap and eating her snacks at one point today, I whispered in her ear, “Mein sinah jacq-sah” which means I love you in Kazakh. She looked at me and said, “yeah”. I said it again and she had the biggest smile on her face and then laid her tiny little head on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything back to me but I believe she knew what I was saying. It was one of those moments that I will cherish forever. At that moment, she knew I loved her and I knew that she loved me even though she didn’t say anything back to me. It was just the expression on her face and the way she leaned into my body that I knew she understood what I meant.
Court on Friday and probably a decision whether or not I have permission to adopt Alina (I expect it to be a big YES!!). Until then……

Cheers,
Kim and Alina Jean

Monday, August 17, 2009

In three weeks, my chubby cheeked cherub will be ALL MINE! You guessed it! I have a court date! YAHOOOOO! Janette told me this morning that I will have pre-court on Wednesday and final court on Friday!!!!! After Friday, it’s only a measly 15 day wait for the appeal period and then I get to take Alina out of Umit forever! I couldn’t believe it when she told me! Friday will have been only four weeks since Guardianship Council! I was expecting at least another two week wait until final court but it looks like Janette really has been working hard for me. I’ve never heard of someone having court only four weeks after Guardianship Council. It’s always been five to six weeks. I have been blessed again during this adoption journey. Since I got “the call” on June 9th that I should prepare to leave for Kaz by the end of June, things have just fallen into place for me (not on the money end of things but as far as paperwork and Janette sticking to her word and getting me out of here sooner). I really, truly believe this is the next step I was suppose to take in my life. It may not have come as quickly as I wanted it to but I’ve learned a lot about myself and the world during this journey. Right now though, I feel like the luckiest person on the planet!
Today’s visit was extra special since I knew that Alina will be with me forever in three weeks. I was greeted by the same impish, smiling face, wide open arms, and lots of giggles. The caretakers keep putting this shirt on her that’s only about two sizes to small. Her little belly hangs out of it. I wish they would not put that shirt on her. Believe me, I’ve seen her groups clothes closet and there are plenty of other clothes that would fit her besides this one shirt that is too small. Luckily, I had the yellow teddy bear shirt with me. When I took her to the potty, I asked one of the caretakers to put it on her because she won’t let me put a shirt on her. But, no fusses in front of the caretaker. Hmmm…what’s the caretaker got that I ain’t got in this situation?!!! Anyway, juice was drank and cookies were eaten. I’ve found these puffy sweets that Alina likes as well. Think puffy Cheetos without the cheese. Add a sweet taste to the puff and that’s the new treat I took this week. Alina loves them and she won’t eat any other treat until all of the sweet puffs are gone out of the treat bag.
Over the weekend, I had thought of a bunch of words and phrases that I wanted to ask Shirin how to say in preparation for when Alina is with me at the hotel. It was a long list so Shirin and I spent the first 10 minutes or so of the visitation period today going over the list. I would ask Shirin how to say one of the words/phrases I had written down in Kazakh and then I would write it down phonetically. While we were doing this, Alina was taking stuff out of the toy bag and placing it on the bench in the gazebo. Every two seconds it was Mama this or Mama that. I even got a few Mama…Mama…Mama. It was so funny! I wasn’t paying attention to her but she wanted my attention. I would answer her when she called to me but then I would go back to talking with Shirin. Again, Alina would start with Mama…Mama…Mama. It was another one of those realization moments that Alina has/is still bonding with me in that she wants my attention. As I’ve said before, I know it’s a little detail but all these little details add up in the end. It was quite heartwarming to me that she wanted me to pay attention to her but I’m sure quite frustrating that I wasn’t paying as much attention to her as I usually do. Hey kiddo, don’t worry! You’ll have all the attention in the world when you get back to the US especially when Grandma and Grandpa visit.
We were playing around in the gazebo and then Alina said she would like to go play in the sand. So, I told her to put all the toys back in the toy bag and we could go. Just like a dutiful daughter should (ahahahahah!!), she did just that and we went in search of an empty sandbox to play in. She absolutely loves to cover her feet up in the sand! It tickles her to no end and it’s even more funny when Mama dumps sand on her feet. I love to hear my little one laugh. Is there any better sound in the world? Anyway, we found an empty sandbox and got our sand toys out to play with. Not five minutes later, the three to four your old group start to filter over to where we are. They were all playing nearby. You know, that’s ok for a few minutes but their caretaker should have realized that it was my time with Alina. She should have come and got the ones who had come to the sandbox and taken them back to where the others in the group where playing. But what did the caretaker do? She sat on her butt and just let the kids come over. These kids are not the sweetest things in the world either. There is one little boy who tries to hit Alina every time he sees her. He has so much anger built up in that little tiny body of his. He hit her today and I took his hand and said, “Joq (No)” very sternly and he just smiled at me and proceeded to try to hit Alina again. And again, what did the caretaker do…absolutely nothing! Even Alina wanted protection from this group. After seven or eight of them came over to the sandbox, she reached her arms up to me so I could pick her up. We packed our stuff up and moved back to the gazebo. I can understand the anger in these children. They all know I’m Alina’s Mama and Alina has a Mama now. I’m sure it’s just jealousy. But, they do not know how to handle their feelings in the correct way at this age. Instead of letting them hit each other, why don’t the caretakers teach them how to handle their emotions. It seems that the nanny’s are there just to make sure they are fed and clothed and nothing else. They should be teaching these kids something about behavior, manners, how to treat people nicely….LIFE!!! I don’t get it!












After this little incident, Alina started shaking her fist at me and at one point hit me with her fist (not hard at all). I immediately took the fist in my hand, slapped it (lightly), and told her NO. She did it again and I did my Mama thing of slapping her hand and telling her no. This was repeated several times and I almost spanked her right then and there but I feel like I’m under such scrutiny when I’m at the orphanage. I feel like I’m being watched by the powers that be and if I do something they don’t like, I will not be able to adopt her. So, that’s all as far as punishment goes that she will get….for now (wah..ha…ha…ha (large evil echoing laugh : ) ).
At one point during our play time in the gazebo, there was a nice, younger looking man who came and sat down in the gazebo. I assume he was some sort of business man by the way he was dressed (no suit…just nice shirt and dress pants and a brief case). He watched Alina and I with great intensity. I thought, “Holy Crap! What if he is from the Ministry of Education or the Court and he is watching me interact with Alina for adoption purposes?” Of course, my paranoia kicked in and all of these kinds of thoughts were running through my head. After he left, Shirin told me that he came to the orphanage with another business man and he was waiting on him to complete his business there. She said he did ask where I was from and she told him I was from America. Who knows who he was. I was certainly on my best behavior and speaking as much Kazakh to Alina as I could. I didn’t know who he might be so I wanted to make sure I made a good impression. It seems very strange I know but you never know who might be watching you. Janette has even told me this.
Alina’s group came by the gazebo about 11:25. Our time was up anyway so we exchanged kisses and said our goodbyes and off she went to have her soup and bread with the rest of her group. She did look back two times, waved at me again and again, and said goodbye. Three weeks! Only three weeks and you’ll be going to lunch with your Mama my little chubby cheek cherub!

Thanks to everyone for following along. Until Wednesday…I’ll have pre-court news for ya!

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

PS. I totally forgot to write the post about my new friends Eva and Vicenti, the Spanish couple. I’ll try to do that this week sometime

Friday, August 14, 2009

(Wednesday's post is below. Sorry, been a little...um...ok...lazy.)

My care package is stuck in customs in Almaty, Kazakhstan!! How stupid is that! It’s just some toys and clothes for Alina, over 70 knitted children’s hats that was going to be my donation to Alina’s orphanage, and some other random things but the best part….a jar of Jiff peanut butter! Why will customs not let it through? I don’t understand this country at all!
Today’s visit was good. Alina was in a good mood and it seems her cold has reached it’s end. There were a few sneezes and one cough but other than that, she seems to have recovered. Poor baby had underwear on today that was about three sizes to big for her. They actually feel down around her knees inside her pants. She kept complaining about it but I couldn’t do anything except to take them off and there was no way I was going to be able to do that so I just left them on her. We rode the tricycle for about two seconds. She still wanted to ride the red motorcycle but it is still broken and cannot be fixed. There’s another smaller jeep type riding toy that she can ride by herself. It’s low enough to the ground that she can use her own legs to push it along. That was ridden all but for two seconds as well. Then she wanted to ride the tricycle again. I had already put it back in its place which was not near the gazebo. I refused to go back and forth between the tricycle and jeep. She got upset with me for a minute but quickly got over it when I scooped her up and planted a raspberry on her neck. Obviously, she wasn’t too upset because that caused her to squeal and laugh. We moved on to a new toy that I bought her yesterday. It’s a ladybug that you pull and when you pull it, the wings go out to the side and back in. It seemed to be a hit! Good thing since this will probably be the only new toy she might be getting if my care package doesn’t clear customs. The pull string on it is a little short for her. Instead of the ladybug being flat to the ground and rolling on three wheels when she pulls it, there is only the back wheel that is on the ground and the wings don’t work quite like they should. So, I will try to come up with something this weekend to remedy that.
We walked around the orphanage a couple times today. We would pass by the large wooden crib that held the newborn babies and Alina would ooh and ahh right along with Mama. They are so tiny!! And there are about eight of them! Four have arrived since I’ve been here. We would pass other groups of children on our walk and they all would call out Alina’s name and say, “Alina’s mama!”. If they didn’t, Alina would be sure to tell them that I was her Mama by saying “Mein Mama” and pat me on the chest. All of the caretakers here seem to be so happy that Alina is getting a Mother. Every time we passed a group or the babies in the crib, they would ask Alina if I was her mother and if she had a good mother. She would always answer “yeah” and smile. They would then pat her on the back or tickle her belly. It seems the stories are true in that Alina is a favorite around Umit Baby House. She is a little charmer!
Janette, my coordinator, did not come with Shirin and me to the orphanage today. Only the driver showed up this morning to pick me up and 45 minutes earlier than usual. I expected her to be in the minivan for the trip back to the hotel but again, only the driver showed up to retrieve us from the orphanage. I asked Shirin if she was ok and not sick or anything. Shirin told me she probably was doing paperwork of some kind. I hope she was working on getting a court date for me. No news on that yet. I still expect it to be at least two weeks because today is the third week since the Guardianship Council meeting. I hope Janette can tell me something next week.
I will publish a post this weekend about Eva and Vicenti. They are a Spanish couple who are adopting their daughter Maria from Umit. I have so much to tell that I want to give them an entire post. They are so awesome and we have really come to know each other this week. So, look for “The Spanish Couple” post coming to your computer on Sunday.
That’s all for now. Until Sunday….

Cheers,
Kim and Alina Jean…the little charmer!

PS. All my not be lost with the care package. I just got off the phone with the wonderful people at Interlink and they are going to take care of it for me. Of course, it’s going to cost money (hey, it's only money, right?!!) to get it here but at least I will get it. Alina will have some more clothes and toys and I will get my peanut butter!!!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

(Thanks to everyone for all your suggestions on toys and how to make Alina feel better about not seeing me for a few days. The three day absence will not happen again since we have a visitation plan figured out.)
Today’s visit was much better than Monday. Alina ran to me with open arms and a smile on her face. She was glad to see me and I was glad to see her. Monday’s shenanigans were gone and the cute little stubborn imp I know was back to her old self. Juice and snacks were consumed, toys taken out of the toy bag and not played with, and many sandcastles (or something that resembled them) were built. We even rode the tricycle several times. Monday’s tricycle rides almost killed Mama’s back because I had to bend over and push the tricycle for her since she does not quite understand how to peddle. So, Mama got smart Tuesday night and crocheted herself a rope from yarn (stop laughing!). I made three long chains from yarn, tied them together at one end, braided them, and tied the other ends together so they wouldn‘t unravel. My thought was I could wrap this around the handle bars of the tricycle and I could pull Alina along instead of bending over and pushing her. Worked like a charm! She protested the rope at first but I told her to stop it and she did. After she figured out that the rope was the only way she was able to ride the tricycle (ie Mama was going to pull it instead of push it), she was ok with the idea (miss stubborn pants!!!). We had great fun and made many trips around the orphanage. She also wanted to ride the red motorcycle with the dead battery but it was broken and not drivable. She settled for another tricycle ride.
Umit Baby House is undergoing some construction at the moment. The heating system is being replaced and I think some plumbing is being done as well. Alina’s room is in total shambles and the bathroom is too. I found this out when she had to use the potty today. I took her upstairs to her room as usual. I walked in and to my surprise, the room was a mess. Old pipes everywhere, smelly sewage pipes laying on the floor, and the small kitchen area (and I do mean small…think closet size) was cleared of its sink, hot plate, bowls, and silverware and the water pipes in this room had been removed as well. I took her to the bathroom and it was also in disarray. Talk about a smelly mess! Ugh! I had no idea where they had moved her room so the only toilet I knew of was a downstairs. It is a standard bathroom with a regular size toilet (no toilet paper) and sink (hand blow dryer that is not hooked up). It’s a nice bathroom and I think one of the adoption agencies paid for it to be refurbished. It’s a large, well lit (surprise there since the lights are never on in this building) room with tile and nice wall paper on the walls. It also has a tile floor. I take Alina in to use the bathroom. I know this is going to be an issue because the first time I took her to the bathroom, I took her in here and she would not use the big toilet. She acts as if she is afraid of it. Well, nothing has changed since then. She’s still afraid of it. I pulled her pants down and sat her on the toilet all the while trying to dodge the five year old flying fists. She’s screaming and crying. I tried to keep her on the toilet but I was afraid that the staff of the orphanage would think I was abusing her or something because of all the fuss she was making. She gets off the toilet and pulls her pants up. She looks at me and tells me she has to pee (in Kazakh of course). I point to the big toilet and tell her she has to use this. She shakes her head back and forth. We do this scenario several times. I finally give up, open the door and we head back to the gazebo. I have no idea what to do now. She plays on the little merry-go-round for a few more minutes and then says she has to go pee again. I thought this time I would ask someone in the orphanage were a bathroom she could use would be located. I did and I was led back to the big bathroom that we just had come out of. My poor baby had to go and I didn’t know where to take her. I should have had Shirin come with me and explain our situation but I didn’t think about it at the time. It was time to take her back to her group by this time. We, Shirin and I, had to ask the cooks where Alina’s group had been moved to so we could take to her new room. They told us and we headed upstairs on the other end of the orphanage. Alina has still not been able use the bathroom. I drop her off at the doorway and help her strip down to her undies so she could have lunch. I told a caretaker that she needed to go to the bathroom (Shirin translated for me). We said our goodbyes and off she went to have her soup, bread, and milk. I’m sure my poor baby went to the bathroom as soon as she finished her meal (nothing comes between Alina and her food!!). Now I know where to take her the next time she has to go to the bathroom. I felt so bad about not being able to find a place for her to go but I didn’t know what to do. Anyone have any suggestions on how I can make her not afraid of the big toilet? There is nothing like a child’s toilet seat here that you can place on the big toilet to make it less intimidating so I’m at a loss. My thinking is that I just have to place her on it and keep her there until she uses the bathroom. That’s going to be hard for her and me when we are by ourselves in the hotel room. Any suggestions would be most appreciated!!!!
That’s all folks! Until Friday…

Cheers,
Kim and Alina Jean

PS. Please keep my Aunt Patty and Uncle Terry in your thoughts and prayers. Aunt Patty lost her Mother, Rose last Sunday. Mine and Alina’s prayers and thoughts are with you Aunt Patty.

Monday, August 10, 2009

I was met by a teary eyed child today. It’s been three days since we’ve seen each other and I think she thought I was not coming back. It really just broke my heart but there’s not much I can do about it. This is the first time that we’ve not seen other for that length of time. I’ll be going to see her Monday, Wednesday, and Friday from now on. Visiting every other day seems to be ok. It was like that last week. I think even two days will be somewhat ok. I will never go without seeing her for three days ever again! It’s not good for her or me.
Today visit was a rough one. I think Alina was mad at me for not coming to see her. She was a handful to handle today. The tricycles were outside and she wanted to ride one of them. Ok…no problem. She’s barely tall enough to get on one and in fact, I had to help her get on and off of them most of the day. She doesn’t quite understand how to peddle the tricycle with her own feet so I had to push her on it. Well, she would let me push her for a few minutes then she would scream to me not to help her. When I didn’t help her, all she could do was just sit on the tricycle because she didn’t know how to peddle to make it move. Then I would get screamed at by Alina because I wasn’t helping her. It was a vicious cycle and one I did not enjoy. Finally, I got fed up being screamed at and walked away. More crying and screaming and pleading me not to leave. What to you want kid!!!??!!! I don’t know how many times I said that today! Then, she got on a battery powered motorcycle. The battery, of course, was totally dead so I had to push her. This vehicle was close enough to the ground were she could get off and on by herself. She had to let me push her on this one because there were no peddles and the only way she could ride it was for me to push her. She would ride that for a while and then she would get back on the tricycle. Again with the crying and screaming for me to help her and for me not to help her. I finally walked away for good and let her pout. She had sit down in the walkway in front of the gazebo and was just sitting there. I told Shirin she was pouting and to just leave her alone. Well, that lasted all of two minutes and Shirin went over to her and asked her if she would like to go play in the sandbox. I wish she would not do that. Alina needs to realize that she can’t have her way all the time. I didn’t say anything to Shirin and I started to take the sandbox toys out of the plastic bag that I carry her toys in. NO……Alina wanted to take the entire bag and when I started taking things out of it, she began throwing another fit. Fine…we’ll take the entire stinking bag to the sandbox. I start walking toward the sandbox without Alina. She calls out to me to wait for her and she holds out her hand for me to hold. That was a surprise considering how she had been acting toward me today. We get to the sandbox and I start taking out the toys we use to play in the sand. NO….Alina wants to take everything out of the bag and I put my foot down and said no…joq! Well, you thought I had cut her arm off or something! She sat down on the ground and started wailing and crying. We were by ourselves because Shirin needed to stay at the gazebo. Another adoptive family left their things there so she stayed to watch them. By this time, I’ve had enough crying and wailing. I gather the toys up and put them back in the bag. While I’m doing this, Alina pulls at her pants which is a signal to me that she needs to go to the bathroom. We had just been five minutes before so I knew she didn’t have to go. I told her no she wasn’t going to the bathroom. More crying and wailing because she’s not getting what she wants. I put my purse on my shoulder, grab the toy bag, and pick up a protesting child whose hands are now in fists and trying to fight me off. Man was I mad! If we would have been at home and she pulled stunts like she pulled today, this child would have been sequestered in her room with a red bottom. I’d had it by this point! This five year old was not winning today! I picked my protesting child up and we headed back to the gazebo. Ten steps later, no more crying, no more flailing the fisted hands. Did I win this battle? I can’t quite tell. We were walking by her group when all of the protesting stopped so did she stop because she knew she had lost the battle or did she stop to put on a good face in front of her group? Who knows!!! But, there were no more tears or fighting after this sandbox incident. We get back to the gazebo and Alina climbs on the motorcycle with the dead battery. I start to push her and we went all the way around the orphanage…no complaining, no tears at all this time. Did I have a chameleon on my hands here or what? Was I being punished by her actions today because I hadn’t visited her for three days? Someone help me out here!?! On one hand, I feel so guilty that I couldn’t see her for three days and I made her feel like I was not coming back. What must have been going through that little head of hers? What did I do wrong that my Mama is not coming back to see me? Will I ever see my Mama again? On the other hand, and I’ve said this before, this days and weeks we are spending together are just drops in the bucket to how much time we will have together. I know that even though we do not see each other every day, we are bonding as mother and daughter. So, do I just bide my time, overlook the actions of my darling little cherub while we are here in Kaz, and wait until we get home to do our actual bonding? It’s obvious that she thinks of me as her mother because she “brags” about it to everyone she sees. She always points out the fact that “This is my mother” when someone asks her, to someone she hasn’t seen before, and especially to her group…i.e….I think she likes me. Bonding is an on going process that takes some time to get through. I don’t expect us to complete our bonding process while we are here but I want to make a good start at it. I think we’ve done that and I just hope it continues. But, after today, I’m a little worried about it. For those who have been there and done this, please offer me your words of wisdom on what went on today…the good and the bad. I want to hear it all!
By the time we had finished out round the orphanage trip on the motorcycle, it was time for Alina to go have lunch. I hadn’t had a chance to put anything on her face today so I wanted to do that before I took her up to her group. Protest, protest, protest but Mama won. I asked her if she was hungry, “Ahsh soon ba” and she said “yeah”. I started to walk toward the wooden double doors of the orphanage. My little darling of a stinker reached those tiny impish hands up at me and wanted to be carried. I always carry her up to her room when it’s time for us to say our goodbyes. So, of course, I pick my baby up and we head upstairs. I sit her down in front of the doorway of her room and her roommates are already in their undies and eating their lunch. Alina starts into the room but I call her back and tell her she needs to take her clothes off. She comes back to me, pulls her shoes off, I help her out of her shirt and pants. She goes striding to her chair only in her undies where her bowl of cabbage soup and piece of bread are waiting for her. After I see that she has sat down at the table, I start to leave. I see her turn her head toward the doorway to look at me. She waves and says “Sow bull” to me and I say “bye bye” and head back down to the gazebo.
At this point, I am exhausted! I’ve fought with Alina for the past hour and a half, I’m sweaty from pushing or not pushing her, and I wore pants today and it’s hot! I’m ready for a beer and it’s only 11:30 am! I get back to the gazebo and Janette is helping another adoptive family with their adoption while their coordinator is out of town. The adoption story of the Miller family is another post in itself. Just let me say it’s been extremely hard on the Millers and the child they want to adopt and it’s not getting any easier. They are in my thoughts and prayers everyday that the rest of their adoption process goes smoothly and quickly. Once Janette has talked with the administration of the baby house, we hop in the minivan and head out. I asked Shirin to ask Janette if she has heard any word on a court date for me. After all, she did say Saturday that she might know something today. Not yet was the reply but we should be hearing something this week. We drop Shirin off close to her home and I’m dropped off at the hotel. Thanks be to God that I left the AC going in the room while I was visiting the munchkin!
That’s all for today……until Wednesday…..

Cheers,
Kim and Alina