CATCHING UP

July 23, 2009 through July 30, 2009

Wow! I can’t believe I’m this far behind in posting! I apologize to my avid readers ; ) !!!! Thanks again everyone for leaving your comments and taking the time to follow our journey. The following posts should bring us all up to date. I’ll try not to fall so far behind from now on. Enjoy!

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

My camera batteries have died and I have not yet found a place to buy more. I’m sure the big grocery store will have them. Must make a trip there soon anyway. Therefore, no new pictures but, hey, I’m here for another 7 to 8 weeks so a few days without pics is ok I think.
It’s been great fun getting to know the Robeys, Kara Docter and her mother, Marsha. They are just wonderful people and I’ve had lunch or dinner with both of them this past week. All of us who are in town right now (the Robey’s, Kara and her mother, Natalie and Christian and the kiddos of course) are going to a new restaurant tonight to have dinner. It’s a Turkish restaurant just a short 10 minute walk from the hotel. It should be great fun and I’m so looking forward to it!
Today’s visit with “the stinker”, as my father likes to call her, went well. I was tested or should we say Mama’s buttons were being pushed by Alina today. I had broken off a small piece of a stick pretzel to give her but she dropped it on the floor of the gazebo. I asked her to through it away and she did. Well, when she had finished her snacks, she went over to the concrete planter that serves as a garbage can and started to pick out the piece of pretzel she had thrown away earlier. She started to reach down inside the planter and I told her no. She looked up and me and smiled that little impish smile. I just kept staring at her with a stern look on my face. She waited about 10 seconds and started to do it again. Never taking my eyes off her, I told her no. She pulled her hand back out of the planter, looked at me and laughed. My expression on my face didn’t change. She is still standing by planter and another 10 seconds goes by. She looks up to see if I’m still looking and her, smiles, and reaches down AGAIN to retrieve the piece of pretzel. I sternly and loudly told her NO! This time, she walked away from the planter, came back into the gazebo and started playing with her stacking toys. AHA!! Score one battle point for Mama!!! Wahooo!!! Yeah it was a small battle but a battle none the less. She listened to her Mama….that’s what I wanted her to do and to realize that it’s not all about what Alina wants anymore. Mama has some say now too. This is only the beginning of the battles. I’m sure there are a lot more to come. Other than that, we had a great time. She’s wanting me to hold her more than ever and she’s always wanted to sit in my lap. There was a little whimper when the caretaker came to take her away today. I told her I’d be back tomorrow, gave her a smooch on that pudgy little cheek, and let her go. It’s the worst part of my day when I have to see her walk back into that orphanage. Believe me, I’m counting the days until we both can walk out of the blue and yellow iron gates of the Umit Baby House!!!!
I came back to the hotel after our visit and put the photo pages together for the Guardianship Council meeting tomorrow. I have one photo have each day of the bonding period. Janette said that I needed to put two photos on a page. I did, put them in the folder we had purchased and then she will put the appropriate paperwork along with the pictures. I am soooo nervous about tomorrow! I haven’t really slept in the last two nights just thinking about it. I’ve been assured that everything will be fine but you never know. Things can turn on a dime in adoption and I just hope tomorrow will go as smoothly as possible.
Until tomorrow……details of Guardianship Council meeting…will I be approved to adopt Alina? Let’s hope so.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

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Friday, July 24, 2009

Dinner last night was so great! All of us had a great time and the food was really good! The restaurant was a nice little walk from the hotel but it wasn’t to far. We all were supposed to meet outside the hotel at 6:30. Since Natalie and Christian arrived early, they walked to the restaurant and back so they could show us exactly where it was. We all had a good time and got to know each other a little more.
We are losing Lynda, Wayne, and Lukas Robey and Kara and Alina Docter and her mother Marsha tomorrow. They will be leaving on the train at 9:30 pm to head to Almaty for the last part of their adoption journey. In Almaty, they will receive the children’s visa’s and other important paperwork so they can enter the US. Good Luck you guys!!! Have a safe trip and it was great getting to know you!
Today’s visit was good. No testing like yesterday but lots of sitting on Mama’s lap while drinking our juice and eating our snacks. I swear this child would eat for the entire visitation period if I let her. She is not allowed to get the treat bag herself. Mama has control over that and I give out small pieces of pretzel, cracker, or cookie at a time. If I were to let her have the snack bag, it all would be gone in less than five minutes! I try to give her two to three snacks then I distract her with looking at the photo album or the stacking toys. That works for a while until she remembers the snacks are there. She is almost obsessed with making sure she gets her juice and snacks everyday. I hope once we get home, she doesn’t start to hoard food. I’ve read about how adopted children, especially internationally adopted children, tend to hide food in their rooms. It’s a survival instinct. They do get food in the orphanage but I’m sure it’s not enough. So, anytime they think they can get food from somewhere or someone else, they are going to get it. It makes me so sad these kids have to think like that. They are three, four, and five years old and they are thinking of ways to get food and survive!?!!! They should be thinking of rainbows, magic pony’s, riding their tricycle, and hugging their teddy bear at night. Instead, they have to constantly be thinking of what they have to fight for to survive. It’s so heartbreaking and I wish I could find homes for all of them so they could have the chance to have a childhood and not be forced into survival mode at such a young age. I can see this in my baby and it breaks my heart. I just hope I can communicate to her once we are home that she will never, ever, have to worry about getting food again. She CAN dream of rainbows, magic pony’s, riding her tricycle, and hugging her frog at night and leave the rest for Mama to worry about.
I was a little distraught at the fact that Alina wanted to go to her group today and cut our visitation time short. She saw them pass by the gazebo again and she fought me to go with them. The routine is that when they are through playing outside, they get stripped down to their undies, get a splash bath which consists of one dipper full of water poured over their head (no soap, no shampoo, just water), get clean, dry undies on, and then it’s lunchtime. Well, Alina loves the water (thank God!) and, of course, she knows that once she gets her “bath”, she gets to eat. In other words, she knows the routine. So, I walked her to where the group was getting their bath, said my goodbyes and off she went. I can’t be angry with her. This is all she has known for the last four years of her life! Again, it’s the survival instinct kicking in. She knows that she has to have a bath first then she gets to eat. If she is not with her group when they eat, she may not get her share of the food. Again, she is thinking she has to fight for whatever she gets and she’s probably had to for the past four years. Hold on baby! In just a few short weeks, you’ll never have to worry about that again!
We get into the minivan and the driver drops Shirin off near her house and I get dropped off at the hotel. Again, I was reminded that I had Guardianship Council at 4:00 pm today….like I could forget! It’s only one of the two most important meetings I will ever have in my life!! I get back to my very stuffy room and try to relax a bit before I jump in the shower to get ready to go. We are leaving at 3:30 from the hotel. I did bring a couple of nice skirt outfits for this meeting and court. The color combo of black and white seem to be a favorite around here so I choose my black and white skirt/blouse combo with the black dress shoes I brought (that I know is going to give me blisters on my heels) for the council meeting. It’s 2:30 so I jump in the shower to start to get ready for this ever so important meeting.
Shirin arrived a little early and met me in the lobby. We sat in the AC and chatted while we waited for Janette. This is Shirin’s first time translating at a Guardianship Council meeting. She’s just as nervous as I am. I assure her she’s going to do fine and she does the same for me. We are promptly picked up at 3:30 outside the hotel by Janette and our driver. Janette has brought along a person who I can only assume is a nurse. Bion is her name and she does speak a little English. She has adopted from Umit and knows Alina. She tells me she is very happy that Alina is getting a family. The place where this meeting will take place is not far from the hotel. We arrive at about 3:45. As with all the buildings in Taraz, it is an old building with no air conditioning and there are only a few overhead lights turned on. We enter the building and immediately proceed to a hallway in front of us. We take a right and Janette tells us to wait in the hallway while she goes into an office to speak to, who I will eventually discover, one of the council members.
It is now 4:00 and the hallway is becoming more crowded with people. There is a policeman, many local people, and someone who has the look of a lawyer also waiting. Everyone who enters the hallway looks at me as if to say, “Why are you here? Who is this strange looking person?” It’s very un-nerving at first but after a while, I just tend to ignore it. All I want is to get into this meeting and get out with a positive result. By now, Janette has disappeared and it’s just Shirin and I standing in the hallway with all the other people. It’s in the heat of the day so the more people that enter the hallway, the hotter it gets. I’m glad I have a skirt on and a tank top with a thin short sleeved shirt over it. There are many people passing by us with official looking documents in their hands. These people, I can only assume, work in the various offices in this building. It’s now 4:20 and still no sign of Janette or that the council has started meeting with people. I’m assuming that this council has many uses other than just approving adoptions. I know not everyone in that hallway was waiting for such a judgment. One of the office workers starts bringing out chairs for everyone. That’s a sign to me that we are going to be here a while. So, Shirin and I share a chair for the next 20 minutes. She offers me the chair first then after about 20 minutes, I offered her the chair. She refused it at first until I insisted she sit for a while. Finally at about 4:40, people are starting to file in and out of the council office and there are more seats open in the hallway. Progress…I’m thinking. By now, my nervousness has somewhat subsided and I’m just anxious to get this over with. I looked at Shirin, grabbed her hand and told her I was glad she was here. She is such a sweet girl and mature beyond her years. Janette has returned and is standing near the doorway to the office of the council along with the nurse she brought with her. They are chatting up a storm and Shirin and I keep a close eye on Janette because neither one of us knows what’s happening next. At one point while we were waiting, an older Russian woman come into the hallway. She is wearing a blue cotton house dress, black lace hair net that secured her white hair to her head, and cotton socks that she wears with her sandals which look like the only pair of shoes she owns. She is a very pretty old woman who was at least in her mid 70’s. She had very kind eyes. I could tell she was a little spitfire just by the way she entered the room. She starts talking to me in Russian. I look at her intently while she’s talking and then Shirin chimes in and tells her that I’m American and I don’t speak Russian. The old lady tells Shirin that I look Russian, nods her head at me, and scoots on down the hall toward the council office. I was sitting there thinking, “Wow…I’ve only been here two and a half weeks and I’m starting to look Russian?” I had to chuckle at myself.
It’s now 4:50 and I’m starting to get antsy. We have moved closer to the council office door but are still not inside yet. Again, Shirin and I are just sitting quietly and watching Janette for any kind of sign that it’s our turn. Most of the people who were in the hallway earlier have gone because they got to see the council members or they just gave up and would come back tomorrow. It’s not as hot as before but it may be that I’m just used to the heat by now. The old Russian lady is back and she takes a seat next to me. She turns to talk to me again but doesn’t wait for me to answer. I thought it was funny that she still wanted to communicate with me knowing I didn’t understand her. She sits only for a moment then she’s up again and gone.
It’s 5:00 and I’m now just about ready to have a stroke. It’s hot, I’m nervous and antsy, and I’ve been waiting in this damn hallway for an hour. What is going on in that office?!!! I tell myself to calm down and we just have to go with the flow. I’ve been watching the office workers go back and forth from once office to another and then back to the council office for an hour now. It seems that it’s pretty much a chaotic mess around here. I don’t know how anything gets resolved without organization. It would drive me nuts!!! I try not to concentrate on the wait or the chaos and start going over the answers to the potential questions that the council members might ask me.
Finally, at 5:05 we get a nod from Janette that it’s our turn. The nurse or whoever Janette brought with her left at 4:45. I hope she isn’t suppose to be here at the meeting with me. Shirin and I get up from our seats and enter the office doorway. There is an office worker sitting at a desk. Janette, who seems a little nervous and will not be accompanying us in the council office, speaks to her and the worker nods her head. The door to the council members office is closed but opens shortly after we enter. The policeman, who I has seen when we arrived, had been in there before us. Janette tells us good luck and to go inside. Shirin, of course, tells me to go before her. I take a deep breathe and enter the room followed by Shirin.
The room is about 8’ across by 15’ long. There is a file cabinet at one end and a window at the other end of the rectangular shaped room. Next to the window is a desk which sits along the long side of the room. In front of the desk, is a row of about eight chairs. I slide down the row of chairs and sit in one right in front of the desk. At the desk sit’s an older man, probably in his 60’s, who has a smile on his face. He is very welcoming to me. I call him the profiler. At the end of the desk are three women who are bunched up together looking at the paperwork that Janette has prepared for this meeting and, of course, the photos which they are oohing and awing over. They are all talking to each other at the same time. It’s a flurry of action between them but the profiler is just sitting behind the desk and never looks at one single photo or piece of paper. He just keeps looking at me and smiling.
I am seated and then Shirin sits next to me. I’ve decided that I will answer their questions with confidence and even though they will not know what I am saying, look them in the eye when I answer their questions. And so, the inquisition begins:

Q: You are from Memphis, TN? (from one of women)

A: Yes.

Q: How old are you? (from the profiler)

A: 41.

Q: Are you married? (from the profiler)

A: No.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: You have been informed of the child’s illnesses? (from one of women)

A: Yes.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: Why did you not become pregnant? (from one of the women)

A: Since I am an older woman, I felt that there were to many health risks for me and the baby.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: How much money do you make? (from one of the women)

A: 36,000 from my job at the University of Memphis. I also work for my parents and receive 20,000 from that job.

Q: Why did you choose Kazakhstan for your adoption? (from one of the women)

A: As I was researching international countries to adopt from, I came to respect the culture and people of Kazakhstan. I also respect the adoption process here especially the two week bonding period. I also know that the children are well taken care of and I have seen that for myself.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: Why did you chose to adopt an older child? (from one of the women)

A: Since I am an older woman, I felt it more appropriate to adopt an older child.

With that answer, all of them, even the profiler, shook their heads and Shirin told me that they all agreed with my statement. In the next second, I heard the words that I’d been waiting to hear all day: Congratulations. You are approved to adopt the child. I thanked them, in Kazak, and exited the room along with Shirin. All of this took a total of SIX MINUTES!!! It was the most nerve racking six minutes of my life! I was never so relieved to get out of that room and Shirin felt the same way. We met Janette in the hallway and Shirin told her that I was approved. All of us walked out of that building on cloud 9! I told Janette that Shirin did a great job and she should be proud of her!! I hugged them both and we got in the minivan and headed toward the hotel.
When I got back to the hotel, I was congratulated by Lynda, Wayne, Kara, and Marsha. They are such nice people and they know what I was feeling since they had been through it weeks before. Now, I’m waiting on a court date. Janette said she would try everything she could to a quicker court date but there is only so much she can do. I expect it will be at least five weeks…worst case scenario, six. Then only three weeks after that (two for the appeal period after court and one for paperwork to get ready in Almaty) we get to go home to the US of A. Now, I need a beer.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

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Saturday, July 25, 2009

I am ever so glad that Friday is over! I actually slept last night for the first time in three days!!! One more day down and one more hurdle jumped over.
I moved into an air conditioned room today! I hated to see the Robeys, Docters and Marsha go but I do so love my AC. I moved back to Room 220. I bet the people of the hotel hate me or at least think I’m a pain in the ass. I hope not. I’m trying not to be.
On the car ride to Umit today, Shirin told me that Janette will not be with us today because the families who left last night for the train at 9:00 pm with a departure time of 9:30 pm did not get to get on the train until 4:00 am this morning! Something was wrong with the train and it was delayed for seven hours!! My thoughts and prayers are with them today as they make the 10 hour trip to Almaty. At least they have sleeper cars and they can rest all the way there. God Bless Ya’ll!!!
Visit was fine. Lots of hugs and kisses and sitting on Mama’s lap again. Each day she wants more and more Mama time. I’m still being greeted by a big grin and wide open arms with tiny little legs scrambling toward me. I love it!! Snacks were eaten and juice was drank. Stacking toys were emptied out of their plastic containers and, immediately, put back in. Crayons were taken out of the box and, immediately, put back in. We did play in the sand box today. That was fun! Alina took her shoes off and would cover her feet up with sand. She just thought it was the funniest thing in the world! She would lose her breath laughing! She liked getting in the sandbox and then getting out of the sandbox. Does anyone see a theme here?
She wanted to go back to her group today which cuts our visitation short by 30 minutes. I didn’t argue this time and took her upstairs to her group. It makes me sad but I have to think about it this way…we’ve got the rest of our lives together. These 12 weeks are nothing….just a bleep in our time that we will have together.
I was informed by Janette, through Shirin of course, that we would not be coming to the baby house on Sunday. I was very disappointed at first but then I thought about it. I cannot ask these people to work seven days a week for the next three months. I hate, hate, working seven days a week. I just got through doing it at school last semester and it was not a pleasant experience. Shirin and Janette have lives too. Plus, the bonding process between me and Alina is going so well, I don’t think missing one day is going to hurt. And, since Janette still hasn’t told me if she is going to charge me for visitations, maybe if I give a little, I might get something….ie…if I give her Sundays then maybe she will not charge me for the coming weeks of visitation. I even offered Saturday and Sunday off. We’ll see.
Now, I have to settle into my cooler room. I need to make it my own since I’m going to be here a while. Until tomorrow….

Kim and Alina

PS. Yes….the black dress shoes DID leave a couple of blisters on my heel!

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Sunday, July 26, 2009

No visit today. I just hung around the room, slept in, knitted a lot, and watched the equivalent of our ESPN on Kazak cable for a while and then watched some movies….all in an air conditioned room!!

Kim and Alina

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Monday, July 27, 2009

Nothing spectacular today. Visit went good. Juice….drank….snacks…eaten…toys played with….photo albums looked at. I have taught her how to say bye bye and we are working on hi. Still sitting in Mama’s lap a lot and chattering away while looking me in the eye. That means, bonding is still going good. This child wants a mother so bad that if I had three eyes and a hump on my back she would bond with me. That special something is not quite there yet. I’m not feeling like her mother. But, I know it’s coming. It will just take some time. I know we were meant to be mother and daughter but the mother/daughter feeling is not quite there. It will be though. And I can’t wait for it to happen.
Alina wanted to go back to her group so I let her, again, cutting our time short. They were getting their “bath” and I took her to where they were. She immediately pulled her shirt off and waited patiently in line for her turn for the dipper full of water to be poured over her head. I don’t know if it happened or not because I left as soon as I saw she was safely with her caretakers. After the splash bath, the group filed into the orphanage and headed up toward their room for lunch. I could see this from the gazebo. I watched for Alina and as soon as she could see the gazebo she was looking for me. She saw me and waved and I waved back. She then headed upstairs for her lunch.
In one aspect, it’s really great that she is no longer crying when she leaves me. It means she trusts that I will return the next day. I expected to arrive to tears this morning since I did not see her on Sunday but that was not the case. I think I’ve earned enough trust points to be trusted that even if I do not come for one day, I will come back. Even though I don’t get to spend the two hours like I had hoped I would, I have to, again, look at it this way….we’ve got the rest of our lives together and pretty soon, we’ll be together 24/7.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Again, nothing earth shattering to talk about today. Our visit went well. Alina chattered even more it seemed like today. Sitting on Mama’s lap while eating snacks and drinking juice was definitely a priority with her today. Mama didn’t mind at all.
I did get into a little bit of trouble today with one of the lady doctors at the orphanage. From our gazebo, you can see the “swimming pool” or ba-sing-gay. Alina loves the swimming pool and wanted to go swimming. I took her over to it with no intention of her getting in but letting her sit on the side of it and putting her feet in. Well, that didn’t happen. As soon as I put her feet in she stood up and starting walking across the pool. Then, before I could catch her, she starts to sit down…not all the way but just enough to get her shorts wet and the bottom of her shirt. I just said, “what the hell” and let her be. Well, one of the lady doctors saw what was happening and immediately came out, swished her hand in the water, told me that the water was to cold and to take Alina out. Now, I assumed this is what she was saying because Shirin was at the gazebo with our stuff. I just calmly walked over to where Alina was, took her out of the pool, and walked back to the gazebo. Natalie and Christian were there too and they had just taken Liam for a swim. Well, they got in trouble too. So, I didn’t bring any dry shorts for Alina because she never lets me put clothes on her. I had just brought a T-shirt. It wasn’t five minutes later that the doctor came out and told Shirin that I needed to get dry clothes on her. I didn’t have anything but a t-shirt! So, I knew it was going to be a struggle to get her out of her t-shirt but I was just trying to follow the doctors orders as much as I could. And what a struggle it was…I had to wrestle her to the ground, pull her wet shirt off her, and put the other t-shirt on. All of this while Alina was screaming and crying to the top of her lungs. She pouted for about two minutes and wouldn’t even let me near her. Shirin looked stunned and I told her that she was pouting and to just leave her alone. After the two minutes, she came walking toward me with her hands reaching toward me to pick her up. Battle number two won!!! Shortly after this battle, a caretaker came to take Alina and change her into some dry shorts. I thought I wouldn’t get to see her again and it had only been about 45 minutes into our visit. I thought I might be punished for letting her get wet. Not so. A few minutes later, Alina comes running out of the doors of the orphanage toward the gazebo in her yellow teddy bear t-shirt and dry boys underwear!!! I scooped her up, held her in the air, and she laughed!
The lady doctor came out at the end of our visit and told Shirin that children could not be left in wet clothes for a long time because it would make them sick. Jesus, people!!! I can understand why they don’t want children sick…if one gets sick everybody’s gonna gets sick. But come on! But, I just nodded my head and said it wouldn’t happen again. I felt like I had been a bad girl and I was getting my hand slapped.
One of Alina’s caretakers came to get her and she left with her without protest. We had hugs and kisses and said our goodbyes. Off she went to have her splash bath and lunch.
Shirin told Janette what had happened with the doctor and Janette told me not to worry about it. I think Janette smoothes things like this over with the administration. You go gurl!!!

Kim and Alina

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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Still nothing is being said of whether or not I need to pay Janette for the visitations. I’m not saying a word and I’m just hoping for the best. I have been so fortunate so far maybe my luck will hold out until the end of the trip.
Our driver is insane!!! The drive to the orphanage gets scarier every day! I don’t even look out the windshield anymore….I can’t! It scares the beJesus out of me! I just look out the side windows of the minivan, say a little prayer, and distract myself by looking at all the different architectural elements of the houses we pass. It seems to work…for now!
I love the fact that Alina wants to sit in my lap when she has her snacks and juice. That really just started this week. It may be a comfort thing for her. I hope so. She is still talking up a storm. I was told by several of my Taraz moms that had met Alina that she was a talker and I’ve just experienced it this week. She hardly stops talking the whole time we are visiting each other. Of course, I have no idea what she is saying and half the time Shirin doesn’t either. I just nod my head and say, “Really” or “No way” or something to that effect. It seems to be working out ok.
At the end of our visit today, one of the caretakers came by the gazebo to collect my girl. She had a bucket of toys in one hand and some towels in the other. Alina and I said our goodbyes and off she went with the caretaker. As they were walking away, Alina grabbed the other side of the handle of the bucket of toys that he caretaker was carrying. It was a perfect photo op moment. Also, as they were walking away, Alina was chatting to the caretaker and telling her that her Mama had brought her juice and cookies to eat today. Shirin told me what she was saying as I was watching the two of them enter the wooden double doors of the orphanage. How sweet is that I ask you?!!
Something that has emerged in the last few days is that when her group comes walking by the gazebo, they will yell at her and she yells back at them. She tells them to “go away…this is my mama”, all in Kazak of course. She’s very serious and if one of them makes their way into the gazebo and even looks at me much less tries to talk to me she gets very upset. She is not only possessive of her snacks and toys but it seems I have made the possession list too. Yeah for Mama!!
Until tomorrow….thanks for tuning in!

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

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Thursday, July 30, 2009

Again with the scary taxi ride this morning! I’m going to video tape a ride one morning because there is no way in hell I could describe the ride and give it justice. Let’s just say I said two prayers on the way to Umit this morning.
The “let’s push Mama’s buttons today” attitude seems to have subsided for now. I know it’s not gone and it will rear it’s ugly head again. I just have to be ready for it.
We had a different kind of juice this morning….peach juice (it’s usually apple). It took a couple of swigs to get used to but was eventually finished off. We are trying to say Juice Please and doing ok. Bye bye is down pat and Hi is getting there.
Alina wanted to say Salem (Hello in Kazak) to EVERYONE she saw today. She wanted to shake their hands as well. It’s so cute and everyone is accommodating because she is so cute! We went for a walk all the way around the orphanage today. This was the first time we had done it. Usually we’d make it down one side and then turn around and go back. I put her down so she could walk but she wanted me to carry her. That only happens when we first see each other and when she has to go potty. She’s never wanted me to carry her any other time. I must be getting my mommy muscles because it seems easier and more comfortable to carry her. I CANNOT get her to wrap her legs around me so I feel like she is just hanging from my arms. Gotta work on that. As we went for a walk about, we ran into some of the other groups of children and caretakers. The children that can talk all know that I’m Alina’s Mama and Alina has a Mama now. The caretakers would ask Alina were her Mama was and she would pat me on the arm or chest and say, “This is my Mama”. Almost every caretaker asked her this and she replied the same thing every time. It really warmed my heart. On the last leg of our walk, she laid her little head down on my shoulder and we just walked along silently. I stroked her back and she actually had stopped chattering for a few minutes. It was a great moment for us both.
Near the end of our visit, her group stopped by the gazebo for a ride on the little merry-go-round. I was upset at first that “our time” was being encroached upon but it wasn’t upsetting Alina so I let it go. Usually, she tells them to go away and if they get near her when we are together, they will spit or try to hit her. As the group was filing into the gazebo, I placed Alina on my lap so I could protect her if the hitting or spitting started. None of that happened. The kids are used to pushing each other in the merry-go-round seats so they all took turns. We were sitting on the benches on the side of the gazebo. As the kids would go around in the merry-go-round seats, they would hold their hands out and Alina would great them with a Salem and a handshake. She had fun and the other kids had fun as well. One little boy did get a little rough with the handshake and shook Alina’s arm to hard. I gently took his hand from Alina’s and told him no. Alina whimpered a bit and curled into me. I hugged her and rubbed her arm and that seemed to work. What I really paid attention to was when she felt hurt, she instantly curled into me for comfort. Great bonding sign!!!! I know it seems like a little minute detail but that’s what these bonding signs are….very little minute details that show you that these little ones are trusting you more and more each day. That’s very important in building a relationship. It was time for the splash bath and time for Alina to go and join her group. As they exited the gazebo, so did my little one. We hugged, kissed, I told her I’d see her tomorrow and off she went. Even though I hate giving her back to the orphanage, it’s seems it’s getting easier for me to do so. I guess I’ve finally convinced myself that it’s not forever and in just a very few short weeks, she’ll be mine forever and she will never have to see this place again. I’m trying to hold on to that thought as hard as I can.
Thanks everyone! Until tomorrow…same bat time, same bat channel (man, I’m such a dork or am I just showing my age?!! No…I‘m a dork!!!)

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

So Sorry....

Sorry guys...been a little busy lately. Updates coming soon...promise. Everything went fine Friday. Details later.

Thanks so much!

Kim and Alina

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

(Thanks to everyone who are leaving comments. I love to read them! If you leave a comment as an Anonymous person, please sign your post so I know who you are.)

B..U..S..T..E..D!!! I got busted today for not paying of using the internet….damn! Apparently, the little guy that has been nagging me to pay has been keeping tabs on me and I had to pay 1740 tenge today….that’s about $12. Not bad for two weeks worth of usage. So, it looks like I’ll be paying 220 tenge an hour (about $1.47) to use the internet in the business center. That so sucks! That means I’ll be spending over $100 just in internet fees while I’m here. The reason I’m complaining about it is that they don’t ask everyone who uses it to pay. Some of the families have never been asked to pay. Then why are they picking on me? Ugh! Would you like to take a pint of my blood while your at it! I need every cent I have right now. I know $1.50 isn’t a lot but when you don’t have a lot of money to start with, every little bit counts. Vent closed.
Janette has yet to inform me whether she is going to charge me extra starting today for visiting the orphanage. The way it works is that you get 14 days for free (yeah right, like anything is free when your adopting!) and then you are to pay $50 each day after that as I’ve stated before. Well, as of last week, Janette was “considering” not having me pay extra because my regional payment was $12,200 instead of $10,000. I hope she just doesn’t say at the end of the week, “oh, please pay me $350 right now for the transportation fee for the week.” It seems this is how Europeans work with money. Do the job first, then ask for the money. I’m so afraid to ask her about it because I don’t want to tick her off. She could then say pay me the $50 a day which I can’t afford. But, if I wait it out and all of a sudden she wants me to pay her $350 a week, what a whole in my budget that would make. Do I ask her or not? I may wait until after Guardianship Council meeting on Friday and ask her then. If she wants the $50 a day, then I can only afford to see Alina three times a week; ie $150 a week. That would certainly suck big time but at least I will be able to see her a few times a week instead of not at all.
I forgot to mention something yesterday in my post that Shirin told me. When Janette and Shirin took the Robeys and Kara Docter and her mother to pick up their children at Umit, Alina saw Janette and Shirin and became very excited. But, when she figured out that I was not with them, she began to cry. My heart melted when Shirin told me that. I hope Janette will take my baby’s feelings into consideration when she’s “considering” charging me or not.
Today’s visit went very well. Alina was quite the chatter box today! She was just talking to me the entire time we were together. It was so cute!! Lots of laughs and giggles and kisses (su-e-mah) for Mama. I loved it of course! She did feel better today. No rubbing the tummy and not one trip to the bathroom. Mama did not bring cookies today only apple juice, crackers, and stick pretzels. I found these really skinny pretzel sticks at the market yesterday with no salt on them. I just assumed they tasted like our pretzels with not salt. They do but they are a little sweeter than ours. They are good and Alina seemed to like them. We are going to stick with these for a few days until we get our tummy back in order.
We had a few new toys to play with this morning. Kara had left some toys for Janette and told her to donate them to the orphanage. Well, Janette misunderstood and kept them for Kara and gave them back to her this morning. So, Kara gave them to me and I took them to Umit and I told her I would leave them in one of the storage cabinets in the shelters. There was a set of stacking cups, some plastic keys, something with three knobs on it and each knob made a different sound, a small ball, and some plastic rings. Alina was to old for most of the toys except the stacking cups. She loved them! My little girl is so smart. She would take them apart and put them back together. She might not get the right size cup in the next size cup correct the first time, put she would try until she got it. She never gave up and always ended up solving the cup mystery. Shirin would get impatient and start to tell her that that cup went into this one etc. (Kazaks are very impatient people. I will have to write a post about the way they drive. My description so far has been nothing….nothing!) I just let her figure it out on her own. She was having a good time and not getting frustrated at all.
We had a lot of Mama time today. She wanted me to pick her up more than usual and she came and sat on my leg when I was sitting in the floor of the shelter (Natalie and Christian were in the gazebo we are usually in so we let them stay there and we went to another shelter to play). She did that at least three times today. And like I said before, she was chattering up a storm today. She would look at me and start saying things. Sometimes, Shirin can’t understand her babble. But, she did tell me that she went swimming yesterday and that she lost her five tenge. Don’t know where she got five tenge but she said a couple times today that she had lost it. Shirin and I just laughed it off. As she was chattering to me today, she would look me in the eye. Very good sign for bonding. It was also as if she was just telling me about her day yesterday. It was so interesting to see her little mind at work and wanting to let me in on her life when I’m not there. She even said Mama in front of some of her sentences today. She would start with Mama and then tell me about something that happened at the orphanage yesterday. It was so heartwarming even though I had no idea what she was saying. She wanted me to know what her day was like yesterday and trusted me enough to tell me. I think a little more of the bonding bridge was built today. It’s not complete yet but it’s getting there.
When it was time to go, one of the caretakers came to collect my girl. She saw her and whimpered a little bit and reached for me. I picked her up, gave her a kiss on the cheek, and told her that I would see her tomorrow (ya-ting-ya-den). She gave me lots of hugs and kisses. I put her down and off she went with the nanny. Saying goodbye seems to be getting easier for her……not so much for Mama.
I met Natalie and Christian today. They are a French Canadian couple adopting their son Liam. We have emailed a couple of times and I was so glad to see them. I also got to meet Liam. What a cutie pie! This is their second visit so they are getting ready to go to court soon. They are staying until September like me! Yeah! Both of us were glad to know that we would have someone in town to do things with. I am very much looking forward to getting to know them. Their translator is Farida. I met her the day Janette took me to the notary office. She was my translator there. It was good to see her again. She is so full of life and very animated when she talks. She will be my translator at court.
Oh my gosh! Farida was telling Shirin and I today that the stupid a**hole male doctor of the orphanage has stolen personal property from adoptive parents! No one has been able to prove it but Farida knows its him. Apparently, a Belgium lady came to adopt her child last year and was playing with her child just out of sight of the gazebo. She had left her purse in the gazebo. The male doctor saw the lady’s things unattended and called his two teenage sons and told them to come to the orphanage. While the Belgium woman was playing with her child, the male doctor stole her purse, with her passport and all her money in it, and gave it to his sons who just walked out of the orphanage with it. This man is a lunatic and needs to be fired! I asked Farida if everyone knows this about him, then why is he still working here? She said that no one can prove it but she knows it was him that stole the Belgium lady’s purse. No wonder he’s stalking me! Until today, I was the only adoptive parent visiting their child in the mornings. Now, Natalie and Christian are there. But, he has been casing me out to steal my stuff! What a bastard!!! He even followed us to one of the shelters today to tell us we should move to another shelter because they found kittens and puppies under this shelter and there could be bugs from them under the floor boards. Shirin said thank you but we didn’t move. He never came back. He is sooooooo creepy! And now that I know he is a thief, we’ll have to be extra careful and he’s making me feel paranoid. As if I need something else to worry about these next eight weeks! Damn him!!! I would love to go all NCIS on him and create a sting just to get him fired!
I worked on my Guardianship Council meeting photos last night. I don’t know how to set my camera so the date will print on the photos. I’ve even read the manual but I, apparently, am just dumb. So, I imported the images I wanted to use into Microsoft Paint, typed the date on the pic, and saved it as a jpeg. Ha! Perfect! No one has to know that the date was not printed on it by the camera! Sneaky but ya gotta do what ya gotta do! We took the flash drive to the photo printing place today and went to a place to buy three black folders and plastic page protectors. We have to wait to pick the photos up tomorrow because there was something wrong with the computer printer or something. I have to have three copies of each photo to prepare three folders for the Guardianship Council meeting, court, and the Kaz Consulate in Almaty. I have to glue two pictures, which constitutes two days worth of visitation, to one page and place them in a black plastic folder. Apparently, there will also be paperwork included in the folder. Hey, I collected over a thousand sheets of paperwork for my dossier, I think I can do this. It will give me something to do with my time tomorrow.
That’s all for today. Thanks for joining us….

Cheers!
Kim and Alina Jean

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ok…you ladies have to help me with this one….how is it that I have to travel half way around the world to be asked out for a beer by the opposite sex? Explain this to me! Ernur (pronounced Yur (roll the r) nar), the driver who drove me from Almaty to Taraz, was back in Taraz yesterday. He lives in Almaty but serves as a driver for Janette when he is needed. I was just asking Shirin about him yesterday when at 4:30 p.m. there is a knock on my door. I thought it was Kara or Lynda so I jumped up to answer it. To my surprise, it was Shirin and Ernur! He had driven Lynda and Kara et al to pick up their children from Umit. He asked Shirin if I was staying in the hotel and she said yes. He then told her he wanted to visit me. And, he did! I saw him and shook his hand and gave him a hug and asked how he was. He asked me if everything was going well with Alina and I said yes. Then he said he wanted to take me out for a beer sometime. Hello….men of the US OF A!! I can’t even get one of you to look at me much less ask me to have a beer with you! Punks!!! Now, of course, this is all just in the name of friendship. He is a very nice looking man and very sweet. He did call me beautiful though….hmmmmm…..hahahahaha!!!! And today, he was our driver to Umit and back. After visiting Alina, Janette had some paperwork to do inside the orphanage so Shirin, Ernur, and I were outside talking for quite a while. He asked me about prices in America of clothes, food, cigarettes (he is smoker), etc. He asked me if Kazak sugar was like American sugar and was American chocolate different than Kazak chocolate, etc. Lots of chit chat. Then he asked if I was going to be here until September. I said yes and he said that he would like to take me to the swimming pool sometime because he wanted to see me in a bathing suit!!! I WAS LAUGHING MY ASS OFF!!! I was not offended in the least because that’s how Kazak people are…..straight to the point! I told him I don’t even like to see myself in a bathing suit so I was for sure he wasn’t going to. Besides, I didn’t bring one with me. He said I could buy one in a shop here. I just laughed it off. It was a very amusing conversation to say the least.
I went downstairs and out of the hotel to sit on the benches out front as usual to wait for Shirin and Janette this morning. It’s cooler in the shade than it is in my room. Shirin walks up and asks me how I am doing and I ask her the same. I tell her that this spoiled American has to have a room with air conditioning. I said I didn’t mean to be a bother but if I’m staying here another two months I want to be comfortable and I’m not right now. She agreed with me and told me not to worry that I wasn’t complaining at all. When Janette arrived, Shirin told her what I said, spoiled American and all, and Janette went inside to check on a room for me. The room I was in before, 220, and 221 are the only rooms with AC and the Robeys and Kara and her mother are occupying them at the moment. But, they will be leaving this weekend and as soon as they leave, I can have my pick! Thank you Lord Jesus in Heaven!!! Only three to four more days of this awful heat! Just knowing that I get to move to a cooler room makes the room I’m in right now more bearable. Yes, it’s going to cost more but I cannot live in this heat. I’m not getting good enough rest and I feel run down all the time. All I want to do is sleep. I think if I was not so hot, I would feel better.
Today’s visit was ok. It is getting hotter in the mornings here so it’s very warm when I visit Alina. I almost thought of wearing shorts today but didn’t (thank goodness….Ernur might have had a heart attack…teehee!!). I think I most definitely will tomorrow. I could tell there was something not quite right with my baby today. She did greet me with the usual big grin and arms open wide. When I picked her up though, she just laid on my shoulder for the longest time with her tiny little arms around my neck. It’s as if she was very tired at 9:45 in the morning. She was not too interested in playing with anything though that’s not surprising. We walked a little, kicked the ball, stacked some toys, listened to some music, ate cookies, and drank strawberry flavored tea. At one point, Alina had to go potty so I took her upstairs to her playroom to do her business. We went back downstairs and not 10 minutes later she was pulling at her shorts as if she had to go again. I take that as a sign she does so we head back upstairs. We get to the potty room and I try to help her with her pants and she starts protesting. The little stinker didn’t have to go at all. Back downstairs we go and out to the gazebo. A few minutes later, she starts rubbing her tummy and has a sad look on her face. She had passed some very smelly gas earlier and when I saw her rub her belly it hit me….he stomach is upset. I told her to come here in Kazak and she came to me and sat on my knee and just laid her head down on my chest (see pic above). We just sat there for about 10 minutes just rocking back and forth and I rubbed her back. It seemed to sooth her and after a while she was up and playing again. I think the cookies I’ve been feeding her for the last two days are just too rich for my baby right now. So, we are going to lay off of those for the next few days. I found some long, skinny, crunchy bread sticks at the market today and I’m going to take those and just a bottle of water tomorrow. Still a treat but something not as heavy so we can get the tummy straightened out. Mama’s tummy is not feeling so well right not either.
I’m running out of ideas for play with Alina. The toys I have are boring her to tears, me too, so any other ideas anyone has would be welcome.
A nanny came to collect Alina today and she went without hesitation. The nanny told her to say goodbye to me and she did. No tears, no fussing, just a hand wave as if to say, “see ya later Ma” and off she went. Ok kid, see ya tomorrow.
I came back to the hotel and Shirin and Janette came in with me. They had some paperwork to drop off to the Robeys and Kara. I came upstairs to my room and immediately sat in front of the fan going full force for a good 15 minutes with my T-shirt off (TMI???). I was so sleepy and tired I eventually flopped back on the bed and dozed off and on for about and hour and a half. About 3:00, the maids came in and did their 10 minute swipe through the room and left. At 3:30, Kara and her daughter Alina and her mother come to my door to see if I wanted to go have a late lunch with them across the street at the café. I was actually thinking the same thing so we all loaded up and went across the street. The Docters (Kara and Quentin) and the Robeys (Lynda and Wayne) were here in Taraz earlier this year on their bonding trip and then back for court and now back to take their children home. So, Kara and Lynda know just about everything on the café menu. I’m relying heavily on them to teach it to me before they leave. I can only eat so much bread, cheese and yogurt. I need protein every now and then. The dishes I’ve had there are very good and I need to write them down. There is a waitress there who speaks a little English and she is very helpful when ordering. After our late lunch, we head to the market to buy some essentials and then back to our rooms for the night.
Thanks for tuning in. You are getting off easy today…short post.

Love,
Kim and Alina

Monday, July 20, 2009

(Please note that the pink Sweet t-shirt that Alina wore yesterday was given to her by Auntie Tamela as well as the pink striped one with the rhinestone heart she wore today. Thanks Auntie Tamela for the hand-me-downs!!)
Tomorrow marks the two week anniversary of Alina meeting her Mama. It seems like only yesterday. Time is flying by and, for now, that’s a good thing. When we get back to Memphis, it can slow down as much as it wants. Tomorrow also ends my free transportation to Umit. I’m just hoping Janette will take pity on me and not charge me the $50 a day after tomorrow. If that happens, I’ll not be able to see Alina every day. We’ll have to work something out. I hope Janette will work with me. I paid her an extra $2,200 in regional fees. I hope she will take that into consideration as the fee for the visitation fee from now on. She said she would consider it. I’ll let you know on Wednesday.
I FINALLY got to meet Lynda and Wayne Robey and Kara Docter and her mother Marsha today. Kara’s husband, Quentin, did not make this leg of the trip. I went outside to sit on the bench in front of the hotel a little early this morning because it was really stuffy in my room. I was out there maybe a total of two minutes and Lynda comes walking toward me. I look at her and she looks at me and she says, “Kim?” and I say “Kara?”. Stupid me called Lynda, Kara. I knew Kara and her mother were here already. They arrived yesterday. I wasn’t about to bother them because I knew they were exhausted. I knew Lynda and Wayne were due here today so I didn’t expect to see them so early. Anyway, Lynda said, “No, I’m Lynda”. We both laughed and gave each other a hug. It was great to finally meet the person I had only been communicating with via email for the last two months. Kara and her mother came out soon after Lynda and Wayne. Lynda introduced me to Kara and her mother. We were all like a bunch of hens cackling around the barn yard. It was great fun! Shirin walks up and I introduce her. Stupid me assumes that she has met these people before. Nope. So, Lynda starts introducing everyone to Shirin. We are all waiting on Janette to arrive. We all talk about when we got here, who’s doing what where and when, etc., etc. We are all so glad just to be able to be here with our children. Janette arrives and tells Lynda and Kara that they can pick their children up this afternoon. I can tell they are a little disappointed that they don’t get to go this morning but they don’t put up a fuss and they proceed to go back into hotel. All wished me a good visit before doing so. God, it’s great to hear American voices again I have to admit!
Shirin, Janette, and I hop into the minivan and head toward Umit. We arrive and I go in search of my girl. She and her group are playing around the sand pit. She sees me and comes a runnin’! They’ve put her back in her tie dyed bear T-shirt and jean shorts today and that stupid blue hat that is too small for her. I must get my sewing machine up and running so I can make this child a proper hat that actually fits her! Her shoes that Mama bought are on her feet and they seem to be working just fine. I scoop her up to lots of deep laughs and even receive a kiss on the cheek. We head toward our gazebo to play.
It seems none of the toys I bring interest Alina anymore. She does love her books but is not playing with them like she used to. Forget about the stacking toys! The photo albums are picked up once or twice but soon forgotten. I asked her about the pictures of my Mom and Dad and she correctly responded grandma and grandpa in Kazak. What a smart girl I have! She wanted to get out of the gazebo and go running around today. I guess Mama isn’t interesting enough anymore. We go to another shelter next to the two year old group. Well, the two year olds were more exciting than anything Mama could dream up to do. I suggested to Shirin that we go back to our gazebo so there wouldn’t be so much distraction. We loaded up and proceeded back to our play area. We were not even slightly interested in playing with anything there so we headed out for a walk around the orphanage. Alina would run, I would chase her and she thought that was just hilarious. We stopped at her groups shelter and she wanted to play with the toys in the cabinet again. I thought, “Why do you want to play with those toys when Mama has brought you new ones? I don’t get it kiddo!” I told her “joq (no)” and I chased her out of the shelter and back onto the paved walkway. We spy the water spicket again but it’s not on this time. I come over and turn it on just a little bit. Alina’s tiny little hands are instantly under the stream of water. She’s rubbing them together, putting the water to her lips, and then proceeds to bend down and drink from the facet. I put my hand in front of it and said no…no and patted her on the mouth very gently. She laughed so hard she almost fell over! I did it again and got the same reaction. It was so cute! I turned the facet off and motioned for us to keep walking. We did and continued around to the back of the building. Her group had moved to another shelter toward the back of the orphanage and Alina wanted to go play with them. I grabbed her up and swung her around in the direction we had just been walking. She protested a bit but I told her no that we are going this way. Again a little protest but she decided to go with Mama. The water spicket is located again on our way back and we go through the same routine as before. When we are through with that, we head back to the gazebo and begin to be bored some more. We kick the ball, we run from Mama, we yell at Mama when she doesn’t do what Alina wants her to do or doesn’t move fast enough…..hmmmm….do I see a pattern here? Is Mama’s buttons being pushed by this adorable little five year old child? How could this be? That’s what I think has been happening for the last two days. Yesterday, which I forgot to mention in my post, she balled her fist up and hit me in the face. Not hard, but I think she did it just to see what I would do. I sternly told her no and I think she got it. Today was a little harder. She did pull away from me a few times when I tried to steer her away from going somewhere I didn’t want her to go and she yelled at me when I would give her a treat. Are the glory days over already? If she were home with me, that little bottom of hers would have gotten a smack today but I can’t do that here. I’m afraid it would be a mark against me. So, I’m trying to use tone of voice and gestures to communicate that Mama doesn’t like it when Alina acts this way. It’s not working but there really is nothing else I can do about it right now.
What was a real surprise today is that Alina did not drink her tea. Not one sip. This is a first in two weeks that she has not drank a bottle of tea. Actually, it wasn’t tea it was a strawberry flavored water. She wouldn’t even look at it. Maybe because it didn’t look like all the other drinks that she has been drinking. I did bring back ONE and only one of the sugar wafer cookies that I brought her yesterday. That was gobbled up most hastily. The poppy seed crackers were next. Those aren’t a big hit but if the cookies are gone, that’s all she’s got.
While we were at play today in the gazebo, I would ask Shirin how to pronounce phrases like don’t through it, stop doing it, don’t shout, look at me, are you hungry?, can I help you?, come here, etc. I also asked her how to pronounce words such as say, stop, open, close, kiss, etc. Shirin would say them in Kazak and I wrote them down phonetically. I want to start using them so when Alina and I are on our own I can communicate better with her. They are not hard to say and I rather enjoy learning a new language. These words and phrases are not in my Kazak computer program. I am going to type them up and practice them at every visitation.
We went a little past our regular two hour visitation time today. I wasn’t going to say anything about it but Janette happened to look at her watch and said I should probably take Alina back to her group. Alina, Shirin and I head toward the entrance of the orphanage and Alina starts to whimper. Alina says she wants to stay with her mother. That just crumbles me inside but I know it’s not for much longer. I noticed the other day that when I am not carrying Alina into her playroom and she walks in by herself, there’s much less trauma for her. No crying, no yelling, “maaamaa”. So, what I’m doing now is carrying her into the building until we get to the bottom of the stairs that lead to the second story where her playroom is located. I put her down and she walks up the stairs with me holding my hand. I open the door to the foyer of the playroom and I lag behind her just a step of two. She will walk to the doorway of the playroom, see her playmates, hesitate for just for a second or two, and then walks in without giving Mama a second thought. Of course, that’s hurts my heart a little but it seems she gets distracted by her playmates thus distracting her about the fact that I’m leaving. I make sure she is in the room and make my exit. It seems to be working rather well. Shirin and I head back downstairs and get into the minivan. We actually drop Shirin off at her house today because she had to retrieve some paperwork that she had translated for Janette. Then I am dropped off at the hotel. The driver almost forgot to take me to the hotel. He was going in the direction of Janette’s house and Janette motioned that he needed to make a right turn to take me to the hotel. We all laughed and I told Janette that I was just going to go home with her. Who knows if she really understood what I said. I get dropped off, head up to my stuffy room, and collapse on the bed for a few minutes.
Kara, Marsha (her mother), and I had lunch together today. We went across the street to a outdoor restaurant that I hadn’t eaten at yet. I’m not eating out much to conserve money so this was a real treat for me. Plus, I don’t want to go out to eat alone. Anyway, the food was pretty good and my Dad will be happy to know that he can get French Fries here in Taraz. I had a sausage dish that Kara suggested. It was like two small hotdogs but DID NOT taste like a hotdog. It was much better! I had fries and some kind of carrot and cabbage salad as a small side that was absolutely fabulous! I wish I knew the dressing they used on it because it was very good. My Mother is going to LOVE it!!! I had a litre of Coke and in all, it cost me a whopping $3.75! Yeah…livin’ large here in Taraz!
I was told that my Guardianship Council meeting is Friday at 4:00. Shirin will take me Wednesday to buy a folder and get pictures printed off for the meeting. Then, it’s SIX WEEKS to a court date. I knew it could be that long so I wasn’t shocked at all when Janette said it. So, I’ve decided that I’m moving back into a room with an air conditioner. I know, I know, but the heat is really getting to me and if I’m going to be here for another eight weeks, I want to be comfortable damnit! It’s borderline miserable right now. I thought I could handle it but I just can’t. Call me whimpy if you must but when you are used to air conditioning in heat like this, it’s really hard on you when you don’t have it. I’ve only got this room that I’m in for another three to four days then I would like to move. I’m only paying for my room 10 days at a time because things can turn on a dime here as far as paperwork or court dates are concerned. Janette says six weeks but it could be five. So, we do 10 days at a time and the hotel seems ok with that.
I’m so looking forward to getting together with the other families this week. Lynda and Kara get to take their children out of Umit today. I’m soooo happy for them! Come to find out, they will only be here until the end of the week. Big bummer for me! I thought I had at least two weeks with them but that’s not the case. Oh well. Anybody fancy a six week trip to Taraz, Kazakhstan? I could use the company. Free room and board but you have to pay for the plane tickets yourself, sorry. Let me know if anyone is interested (Ya’ll realize I’m pulling your leg, right?)!!!
That’s all for today! Much love from Alina and me!!!

Cheers!

Sunday, July 19, 2009

(Please note that the T-shirt worn by Alina yesterday was given to her by my friend Tamela.....not Deanna)
The shape of the Umit Baby House is like an H with two lines equal distance apart in the middle but they do not extend to the top or bottom of the H. The long sides of the H are the various rooms of the orphanage: the playrooms, the offices, the kitchen, etc. and they are two stories tall. The two lines that are equal distance apart are two hallways that connect the two long sides of the orphanage. There is a small courtyard in the front with flowers and it serves as the front entrance to the orphanage. The middle courtyard is where the pool is located along with benches, flowers, and the usual weeds in those flower beds. The back courtyard is just that….the back courtyard….nothing special there. You can walk all the way around the building. There is a paved path big enough for one car to drive on. On the outer edges of the walkway/driveway, there are smaller paved paths that lead to the shelters, gazebos, sand pit, and the brightly colored playground equipment along with tall grass/weeds, bugs, and pretty flowers. The building looks like it is falling down from the outside. The stucco that covers the brick under layer is slowly eroding with time. It may not look like much on the outside, but it is spic and span on the inside. I have to hand it to this orphanage staff. Everything has a place and is usually in its place and cleaned at least once a day…that includes the children!! I’m very impressed with how clean everything is in the orphanage. It can’t be an easy job and one I would not like to have!
The inside décor is quite old with, what looks like, original lamps hanging from the ceiling and walls. I would date this building somewhere in the early 20’s just by architecture alone not to mention the beautiful detailing inside. It has beautiful plaster scroll work at the top of the walls near the ceiling. It’s original paint scheme has been changed to suit the children’s taste but other than that, it is all original. There are wooden framed windows which are simple but absolutely gorgeous. There are official looking announcements hanging in 8 x 10 picture frames on the wall along with pictures of the orphanage staff. There is a macramé wall piece handing at the end of one of the hallways that I would snatch up in a second. It looks like it’s been hanging there for years but I would love to take it home with me. It is intricate in detail and an extremely interesting piece of art. The floors have been re-done with adhesive backed laminate with a faux pine wood look to it. There are orange steam pipes running along the base of the walls and even in front of the doorways. You have to step over them when you enter the orphanage. There is one spot in the hallway where the pipes cross the floor from one side of the hallway to the other but the kids have learned to step over it. I’m not sure about the adoptive parents. I’m sure there have been more than one person trip over those set of pipes…that includes me. The doors to the offices, kitchen, etc. have so many layers of paint on them I would hazard to even take a guess at the number. There are original knobs on most of the doors and windows. Again, everything is immaculately clean and in its proper place that best serves the staff and children. There is no modern conveniences for the staff such as nice desks, file cabinets, or maybe not even a copier (I haven’t seen one). They exist very simply and seem to get by very efficiently. Makes one think about ones own existence and if one could exist so simply back in the States.
We pull into Umit, park the chariot that brought us today, and get out. The three year old group have been playing in our gazebo and they are just leaving for their morning walk around the outside of orphanage. They see us pull up and watch us get out of the minivan. Instantly, there are 20 or so three year olds announcing my arrival, “Alina’s mama….Alina’s mama….Alina, your mother is here!”. This was done with the greatest enthusiasm a three year old could muster. It’s the cutest damn thing in the world and makes me feel very special! We were at the front of the orphanage and Alina, apparently, was with her group around the back. The cavalcade of three year olds ran all the way around the building until they found Alina to tell her that her mother had arrived. Once they found her, they pointed the way to me and my little cherub comes running with tears in her eyes. She is crying and shouting, “maaama”. I put my coveted Tarazian plastic bag down and scoop her up in my arms. She is in a full blown breakdown mode which soon subsides after I pick her up. Shirin picks up my plastic bag and we head to our gazebo. She has stopped crying by the time we reach our play area.
Once we are there, I start pulling out the toys I have brought for us to play with today. The Little Golden Books, the stacking blocks, our picture albums, and the peas-de-resistance…the new shoes that Mama bought yesterday at Tsum. There is a huge gasp as she sees them. I pull them out of the bag, hand them to her, she takes them over to show Janette and Shirin, and then she comes back to me. She seats herself in the little merry-go-round seat that is in the middle of our gazebo. She sticks her tiny little feet out toward me and I put on her first new pair of shoes she’s probably ever had. They fit but just barely. Her toes are to the end but are not cramped against it. So, Mama did good. She loves them and takes them out for a spin around the gazebo. They seem to be working just fine. I’m so glad to have those other shoes off of her. Maybe now she can learn how to walk a little better. I also brought another hand-me-down shirt today (thanks Cackie for growing out of your clothes!!) that has the word Sweet on the front of it. It fit perfectly. She was very excited to receive it as well.
I bought a new type of cookie yesterday at the market across the street. It’s like our sugar wafer…you know the ones you can get in vanilla, chocolate, and strawberry? These are a bit larger than ours (think four of ours together to Kaz’s one). They seem to be double layered with a thin chocolate layer and a cream layer. They are very tasty. I grab two of those as I head out the door this morning along with our usual crackers and tea. After we get our new shoes and shirt on, I ask Alina if she wants her “sup”, juice in Kazak but we really mean tea. She says yeah, and that’s what she said…yeah, and so I twist the cap off for her but not all the way off. I know by now that five year olds like to do things themselves so I let her finish taking the top off. While she is taking her first sip of juice, I pull out a small piece of our new cookie. Once she is done drinking, I ask her to say cookie and please. She does so with great enthusiasm and gobbles the cookie down. Two seconds later, I’m asked for another cookie please and I hand her another small bite. It is gobbled up again very quickly. I believe Mama has scored again with the new treat today. I try to distract her from the cookie with the stacking blocks for a while. It works but only for a few minutes. It seems she loves the cookie and wants more. No problem…she can have it. But now, instead of stuffing the whole piece in her mouth, she sees that she can take the layers apart. My very curious child starts peeling away the top layers of the cookie and works her way through the cream layer then the chocolate layer, all the while smacking her lips and licking her fingers. It was a quite a sight to see. I was lovin’ every minute of it!!! It reminds me of me when I was little. What little kid doesn’t like to take things apart?
Once the new cookies (only 2) were gone, the sugar rush began!!! We were kicking the ball which she has had really no interest in since I gave it to her last weekend. We took several walks/runs along the paved walkway/driveway around the baby house…really just around the corner and back to the gazebo. She wanted to go to her group shelter and get the toys out there and play with them. I told her no and there was no fuss, no muss, and she seemed ok with it. We did find a water spicket that had been slightly turned on. There was a small stream of water running from it and, of course, we had to go over to it to investigate it. We rubbed our hands in it and Alina would gather water in her tiny little hands and rub it on her face. Her hands can’t hold much more than a tablespoon so I wasn’t complaining. I would cup my hands and gather some water in them and chase her with it. I would through it up in the air and she would laugh so hard she would lose her breath. You should see how this child runs! She scrunches her shoulders up, raises those tiny little legs as high as she can, and wobbles back and forth like a Weeble. Those tiny little hips are swaying back and forth and, now that she has shoes that fit, she can run even faster without tripping. We played chase me with the water three times until Mama got smart and turned the spicket off. I had a blast and so did my girl. One thing she REALLY got a kick out of today was that she figured out she could sit on the ball. She would put it under her tushy and very carefully sit down. I told her to bounce up and down and it and she thought that was just hilarious. She then discovered that if she bent over and leaned forward enough, her bottom would slip off the ball and land on the floor of the gazebo. This action got the biggest breath losing laugh I have ever heard from her! Shirin and I both were in tears watching her do this over and over again and laughing until she lost her breath every time! My baby has the cutest laugh ever (sorry Gili, Cackie, Owen, Cassie, Hallie, Sara Grace, Glenys, Madelyn, Margeaux, and Sofie)! It’s the best sound in the world to me!
It was time to go. No nanny came to collect Alina today but Janette asked me to take her back to her group so I did. We walked inside and up the stairs to her playroom. Her playmates were all in their undies as usual because it’s so hot in the room. They have an air conditioner that is located above the bathroom door but, in my almost two weeks here, I’ve heard it on once. Electricity is a luxury here. It’s quite sobering to think about how we take it for granted. Alina walks in, doesn’t even look back at me, and heads right for the potty. I turn around and make my hasty exit before she realizes what just happened.
Janette and Shirin are waiting for me at the gazebo when I return from giving my baby back to her caretakers. I’ve forgotten to take her hat upstairs with me so I run it back up to her room. I walked in, tapped a caretaker on the shoulder, handed her the hat, and exited as quickly as possible. Fortunately, Alina didn’t see me. I head back downstairs and we jump in the waiting minivan and depart through the gates of Umit. We drop Shirin off close to her home and I am dropped off at the hotel. I say my usual thank you and goodbye to Janette and the driver. I feel very tired today so I come up to the room and lay down on the bed with the fan blowing as fast as it can right on me. I fall asleep almost instantly for two hours!!! When I wake up, it’s almost three and I know the hotel cleaning ladies will be here soon so I make myself get up and have a late lunch. Sure enough, at 3:30, a parade of three cleaning ladies come in, wipe the bathroom down, bring me fresh towels, make my bed, clean my toilet, wipe off the window seals, and wipe the foyer floor with a rag…yes, rag…not a mop. This is all done in about five minutes. Every other day, they will bring in the quietest vacuum cleaner you’ve ever heard and sweep the carpets. That takes all of two minutes. They are fast, efficient, and pleasant as well.
That is all for today. Until tomorrow….

Love,
Kim and Alina

Saturday, July 18, 2009

I didn’t even make it to Alina’s group shelter today before I heard those teeny tiny feet running down the paved path toward me. I was greeted with the usual big smile and great big hug. What a way to start out the day! She had her purple snail shirt on that Mama bought at Target and shorts from the orphanage. I just hope they haven’t misplaced the green outfit she had on yesterday. It was so darn cute on her. Hopefully, I’ll get it back. I took her another hand-me-down T-shirt (thanks Gili!!!) and her jeans shorts to put on her today (see pics). I tried to dress her at the very beginning of our visit but she wouldn’t have it. So, I didn’t push it but did get her to agree later on. She even undressed herself and I helped her put her “new” clothes on. I pushed the issue of sitting in Mama’s lap today. I grabbed her about three times and there were no complaints. The eye to eye contact is very good. She looks at me when she is talking to me and even looks for me when I am not in her sightline. She is still trusting me with holding her books for her and still wants me to help her drink her tea. All of this is proof that the bonding process is progressing and we are on the right track.
We played with the stacking blocks more than usual. It kept Alina entertained for a good 20 minutes and then it was time to look at the photos again. I always ask her who is the or “bulcrum” in Kazak when I show her a picture of Mom and Dad. She responds grandma and grandpa….in Kazak of course. I do this at least once a visit and sometimes more. I want her to know who they are before they get here so she will not be afraid of them. The Little Golden books are still a big hit everyday. When I pull them out of the bag, they always receive a big gasp as if she has never seen them before. Thank God she loves books!!! We tossed the ball around, walked around the gazebo on the bench (she thinks this is quite fun and she laughs so hard sometimes she can’t even walk or she will lose her breath), and we sat on the railing of the gazebo which she really liked. I sat her little tushy on the railing and she leaned against my belly. This also got lots of laughs.

We shared out gazebo with a grandfather and his grandson today (see pic above). I had seen this man several time last week and he would always come the same time we were there and play with this beautiful little boy who is probably about three years old. Shirin asked him if the boy was his grandson and he said yes. Apparently, his daughter had him out of wedlock and just placed him in Umit. The grandfather has been trying for months to take him out of the orphanage and next week, he will get to do so. The older man is very upset with his daughter for, basically, throwing away his grandchild. You can tell this man is going to make a wonderful grandfather! He brings his grandson tea and bread everyday which is probably more than he can afford but he does it anyway. The little boy is so cute but he has this very sad look on his face. They call it a serious look here but I would call it sad. It’s as if he knew his mother did not want him and he is trying to figure out what he did to make her put him in the orphanage. It really is so sad. I just hope grandpa will be able to explain it to him soon that it was not his fault he was put in the orphanage. It’s obvious he knows his grandpa as he also cried, like Alina, when the grandfather had to leave. But, this is a good ending to an otherwise sad story. What a great grandpa this guy is. I took pictures of the two of them today and I told the grandfather that I would get them developed so he could have them. He was very thankful. I’ll need to do that early next week because I want to give him the pictures when he and his grandson leave the orphanage together. I hope I’m there to see it.
Janette brought her granddaughter with her today. She is a very beautiful girl and extremely shy. About half way through the visit, they decided to walk to a little grocery store not far from the orphanage. There are little markets everywhere in Taraz. They’re like the Starbucks in America…one on every corner and sometimes between corners. Janette and her granddaughter returned and had bought Alina a sucker and some more tea as she had finish the half bottle I brought her that was left over from yesterday. I unwrapped the sucker and gave it to Alina, once again, thinking she had eaten a sucker before. Nope. She tried to bite it and she couldn’t. I showed her how to lick it but she couldn’t grasp that either. She finally figured out that she would just put the whole thing in her mouth and eat it that way. She also ate more treats today than yesterday. I even got her to say “cookie” and the usual “peeze” before I would give her a treat.
At the end of our visit, one of the caretakers came to collect Alina. It was lunch time and all of the other playmates had had their bath and were sitting down to lunch. We were sitting on the railing of the gazebo when this happened. The way we were seated, we could see the front door of the orphanage. Alina saw the caretaker come out the door and head toward us. She said something in Kazak to Alina and Alina started to cry. She new it was time to go and so did I. I picked her up and held her to me. She started crying harder and through her tears asked if I would come to see her tomorrow. I answered “Iya (yes)”. She whimpered some more and the nanny took her out of my arms. There was a little more protesting but it subsided a little once they headed back into the orphanage. It’s the hardest part of the day for me….saying goodbye to my girl. And, I think it’s pretty hard for her too.
We jump back in the taxi and head toward the hotel. We drop Shirin off at a different drop point than before. Janette had to stop at the Department of Education today to pick up some paperwork for Alina from Astana which is the capital city of Kazakhstan. She has promised to try to put a rush on the paperwork for me so this must be good news. I am dropped off at the hotel. The taxi driver must know Janette because they were talking non-stop on the way back from the orphanage. I get out of the taxi and say “rakhmet (thank you) and sow bul (goodbye)”. The taxi driver got a real kick out of me saying these words and was joking to me about it. He is an older gentleman, probably close to 70, and very nice. I think it tickled him that I was trying to speak his language. We all had a good laugh about it.

I bought Alina her first pair of shoes today. The sandals she is wearing now are to big for her so after I got back from our visit, I walked to Tsum, the mall down the street from the hotel, and bought her the cutest pair of sandals. I can’t wait to try them on her tomorrow!! Hopefully, they will fit her better than the ones she is wearing. Once we get home, grandma and grandpa will make sure she has the right size shoe and a closet full of them to boot. Imelda Marcos will have nothing on this child!!!! Also at Tsum, I bought a notebook. Needless to say, not like American notebooks. This notebook has grid paper for pages. This is the closest thing I have found to a notebook as we know it. I want to start writing down Kazak words for “come here”, “don’t through it”, etc so when Shirin is busy with other families next week, I can communicate more with Alina. She has told me these words but unless I write them down, I don’t remember them. This way, I can study them at night too. After Tsum shopping, I visited the little market across the street to pick up some bottled water, tea for the baby and, of course, more Kazak beer along with other things. I come back to the hotel and the nice young man who is serving as the security guard takes all my bags and water bottle out of my hands and carries them to my room for me. How cool was that! And, he didn’t even ask for a tip! He carried my bags inside, I thanked him, he said your welcome, and turned around and left. How refreshing to have someone help you without expecting something for themselves!

I feel like a true Taraz citizen now. I have scored my very own plastic bag (see pic)! Everyone…and I mean everyone….carries these heavy duty plastic bags. They’re not like the grocery store plastic bags as you can see by the picture. There are different logos on each bag. I don’t think I have seen two just alike. It’s quite interesting and Kazaks are very resourceful people. They use these bags to carry just about anything. Now that I have my very own, I feel like I fit in a little better when I walk down the street. I use it to carry Alina’s toys and snacks in. I am very proud of my plastic bag!
That’s all for today. Thanks for tuning in….until tomorrow….

Sow bul!