When you enter the throws of International Adoption, it really is a roller coaster ride. You are so excited to find an agency that will accept you and has a program that you are interested in. Then, the paperchase begins. There still is that excitement of gathering what needs to be gathered and dreaming of that cherub of a face that will someday be yours. Doctors appointments, county court house, fingerprints, FBI, USCIS, homestudy, social worker, adoption coordinator, caseworker, notaries, apostilles, birth certificiates, and the list goes on and on. Once all the paperwork is gathered, that's when the waiting game begins because you no longer have control or a say in ANYTHING!! You can't call the FBI and say, "Ahem, excuse me, yes, I sent my fingerprints in 2 weeks ago. You see, I'm in the middle of gathering paperwork for an adoption and there's this little 4 year old girl waiting for me in Kazakhstan. Could you please see to it THAT YOU GET YOUR ASS IN GEAR AND RETURN THE FINGERPRINTS AND THE APPRORIATE PAPERWORK IMMEDIATELY?!! I would so appreciate it. Thanks." That's what you feel like saying but, alas, if you did something like that you probably would NEVER receive your fingerprints back.
This also goes for USCIS. "Yes, I know you only have 2 people working in the ENTIRE adoption unit of your office but, you see, there's the cutest little 4 year old child waiting for me in Kazakhstan. So, I was wondering COULD YOU WORK JUST A LITTLE FASTER SO I CAN HAVE YOUR PERMISSION (huh!!) TO BRING MY DAUGHTER TO THE UNITED STATEs? Thanks so much for your attention to my file." Yeah, that's what I'd like to say but, just like with the FBI, this would not bring my I171H any closer to my door. So, I wait for other people to clear my good name and give me the paperwork to prove it. And, I wait for other people to allow me to adopt a child from Kazakhstan and give ME the permission to bring her into the United States.
Isn't it funny that anyone can HAVE a child (baring infertility of course)...no questions asked...no social workers to report to, no asking the government for permission for anything. But, if you want to adopt one...oohohoh...you have to PROVE to EVERYONE UNDER THE SUN that you are capable of raising a child. Yes, I know it's done in the best interest of the child and I have no argument at all about that. And, in some cases, I'm glad it's done. I just wish it was simplier..you know. All I want is to give a secure and loving home to a child. I want to give a child a chance to become whatever they want to be...give something of myself to a child...be a mother. And to do that, all I have to do is jump through, what feels like, 3 million hoops to do it. Okay...fine. You want me to do it....I'll do it. I'll jump through those hoops and when I've jumped through that 3 millionth hoop, there's this extremely cute kid in Kazakhstan that I will be the proud mother of and the frustration of jumping through all those hoops and the extreme frustration felt during the waiting game will fade and it will have all been worth it.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!
WOW!! Alina has been in my life, although she doesn't know it quite yet, for ONE WHOLE MONTH as of today!! In this last month, I've gotten all my paperwork together for everyone...Kaz AND Immigration! Now, it's a waiting game. I wait for my homestudy to be finished, wait for my FBI fingerprints to be sent back to me, then wait for the I171H. I estimate I've got 2 to 2 1/2 months of waiting to do then my dossier will be sent to the Kaz embassy in DC. Then the next step is for the embassy to translate it and then it's off to Kazakhstan! I'm not expecting that anytime soon. I hope to have Alina home by this time next year...that's my hope. Of course, I would not complain if it happened sooner. I just know that I'm on my way to a my child. I promised myself that this year...that I would be on my way to my future child even if she didn't come from China. I'd say I've kept my promise to myself. Way to go self {gives herself a pat on the back :)}!! I had my doubts but I stuck to my guns and made it come true. I'm on my way to motherhood...YIPPEEE!!! Goodnight sweet baby....or I should say Good morning! Know that I think about you everyday and fall in love with you a little more each time I look at your picture. I can't wait to hold you in my arms, play dress up with you, make you clothes, fatten you up on good Southern food, and just love you until the end of time.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Home Visits and Birthday Parties
Penny, my social worker, came to the house today. It was fine. I didn't clean like I should have but hey, she's seen it clean once...isn't that enough???..hehe. We also talked about the homestudy. She said it's ready to get typed and she will send a rough draft to my agency probably by the end of the week. I'm looking for it to be completely finished within the next two weeks. Then, I can send all the immigration stuff in and wait for the new I-171H. Things are at a standstill until I get the new one.
I've been thinking about something lately. Alina will have a sibling...there's no doubt about that. And, my agency suggests that your homestudy approve you for 2 children of either gender. So, what if Alina's sibling came home with her? What if I adopted 2 children at once? Am I crazy for even thinking I could handle that? Wow, talk about throwing yourself into motherhood head first! How much harder would it be with 2 instead of 1? It's just something I'm thinking about...not seriously...YET...but I'm thinking about it.
Went to a 4 year old birthday party this weekend. It was fun to see the little ones play and have their picnic outside. Glenys, the birthday girl, wanted a princess and mermaid picnic birthday party. It turned out quite well I thought. This weekend I have another 4 year old birthday party to go to..Hallie's on Saturday. Then, I have a 2 year old birthday party on Sunday....Margaux. I've been to more birthday parties in the last 2 years than I have in my entire life!!! This month alone I'll have attended 4 birthday parties and a baby, really toddler, shower! When I started this journey, I never expected to be partying like this (hehe)!! It is always fun and the little ones are a joy to watch.
I've been thinking about something lately. Alina will have a sibling...there's no doubt about that. And, my agency suggests that your homestudy approve you for 2 children of either gender. So, what if Alina's sibling came home with her? What if I adopted 2 children at once? Am I crazy for even thinking I could handle that? Wow, talk about throwing yourself into motherhood head first! How much harder would it be with 2 instead of 1? It's just something I'm thinking about...not seriously...YET...but I'm thinking about it.
Went to a 4 year old birthday party this weekend. It was fun to see the little ones play and have their picnic outside. Glenys, the birthday girl, wanted a princess and mermaid picnic birthday party. It turned out quite well I thought. This weekend I have another 4 year old birthday party to go to..Hallie's on Saturday. Then, I have a 2 year old birthday party on Sunday....Margaux. I've been to more birthday parties in the last 2 years than I have in my entire life!!! This month alone I'll have attended 4 birthday parties and a baby, really toddler, shower! When I started this journey, I never expected to be partying like this (hehe)!! It is always fun and the little ones are a joy to watch.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Two in One!!!
Penny, my social worker, is coming for a second home visit tomorrow and we are going to talk about the homestudy.....2 visits in one!! Whoohooo! That means only 1 more visit and my immigration paperwork will be updated. Hopefully, we can get that visit in by Friday then I can turn all the imigration stuff in and start waiting on the new I171H that will have Kaz on it instead of China. TWO WEEKS PEOPLE!!! TWO WEEKS! That's all it's taken me to get this done!!! For those who don't know realize it, that's pretty darn fast for getting the paperwork done for the I171H! It was a little easier this time around since I knew what to do and were to go to do it!! So, hopefully since this is just an update, immigration will grant me a boon and only take 3 or 4 weeks instead of the 10 it took last time! Keep your fingers crossed.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Rol-a-coast-ta...oh yeah!!
(The title of this entry is sung to the 70's song Rollercoaster...Yes, I'm a dork!!)
The past two days have been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. But, I think the train has pulled into the station for the time being. The people in power at work are so amazing! They are helping me out so much! I've already signed a new contract that says I will be making more money starting in Sept. AND they are writing new employment verification letters which should be done on Monday. I just came to them in tears on Thursday and the problem is already solved. I have to give MOOCH-O credit to our secretary in the front office. She is the one who pulled many strings for me to get this done so quickly. Thanks Sheri!! I own you many bottles of red wine!! So, now all I have to do is verify the money that mom and dad give to me and I'm all set!!! The Bump has dissappeared as quickly as it rose. Thank you God!!
Penny, my social worker, is making a home vist Tuesday and we are going to talk over the rough draft of the homestudy. Since we are talking about the homestudy during the home visit, this will count as two visits out of the four she has to make for the immigration paperwork update. That make three down (I saw her last Monday) and only one more to go! I'm hoping we can do it by next Friday so we can send in the updated immigration paperwork. Then, I wait for my new I171H - the piece of paper that says I can bring Alina to the US. Hopefully it will only take about 6 weeks this time instead of 10 like last time!!
On a sadder note, my theatre mentor/friend has found out she has breast cancer. She is having a mastectomy (right breast only) on April 30th. She just had a partial mastectomy at the first of the month. When the pathology came back, the doctor explained to her that he was not able to get all of the infected tissue so he suggested she have the entire breast removed. She has agreed and seems rather ok with it. I told her that if it were between living without my right breast and dying, I'd have that right boob loped off in a second! That made her laugh and she totally agreed. She has no children, only step children who are grown. Two of them came in to help her through the partial mastectomy but I know that they could not come in so quickly again to help her through the other surgery. So, I'm going home to help her through the surgery. She is such an important person to me and a good friend that I would not have it any other way. I'm glad to do it. So, I'll be going home for a couple of weeks to take care of my good friend. Some good news out of all this is that the cancer has not spread. There was no evidence of it in the lymph nodes! That is great news!!
This weekend will be spent cleaning this nasty house so Penny won't think I'm a total pig. I need to make my list of cleaning duties for the weekend. I can't do anything without a list anymore. It's pathetic! Oh well....
The past two days have been a rollercoaster of emotions to say the least. But, I think the train has pulled into the station for the time being. The people in power at work are so amazing! They are helping me out so much! I've already signed a new contract that says I will be making more money starting in Sept. AND they are writing new employment verification letters which should be done on Monday. I just came to them in tears on Thursday and the problem is already solved. I have to give MOOCH-O credit to our secretary in the front office. She is the one who pulled many strings for me to get this done so quickly. Thanks Sheri!! I own you many bottles of red wine!! So, now all I have to do is verify the money that mom and dad give to me and I'm all set!!! The Bump has dissappeared as quickly as it rose. Thank you God!!
Penny, my social worker, is making a home vist Tuesday and we are going to talk over the rough draft of the homestudy. Since we are talking about the homestudy during the home visit, this will count as two visits out of the four she has to make for the immigration paperwork update. That make three down (I saw her last Monday) and only one more to go! I'm hoping we can do it by next Friday so we can send in the updated immigration paperwork. Then, I wait for my new I171H - the piece of paper that says I can bring Alina to the US. Hopefully it will only take about 6 weeks this time instead of 10 like last time!!
On a sadder note, my theatre mentor/friend has found out she has breast cancer. She is having a mastectomy (right breast only) on April 30th. She just had a partial mastectomy at the first of the month. When the pathology came back, the doctor explained to her that he was not able to get all of the infected tissue so he suggested she have the entire breast removed. She has agreed and seems rather ok with it. I told her that if it were between living without my right breast and dying, I'd have that right boob loped off in a second! That made her laugh and she totally agreed. She has no children, only step children who are grown. Two of them came in to help her through the partial mastectomy but I know that they could not come in so quickly again to help her through the other surgery. So, I'm going home to help her through the surgery. She is such an important person to me and a good friend that I would not have it any other way. I'm glad to do it. So, I'll be going home for a couple of weeks to take care of my good friend. Some good news out of all this is that the cancer has not spread. There was no evidence of it in the lymph nodes! That is great news!!
This weekend will be spent cleaning this nasty house so Penny won't think I'm a total pig. I need to make my list of cleaning duties for the weekend. I can't do anything without a list anymore. It's pathetic! Oh well....
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Just A Bump
(Must read previous post for this post to make any sense whatsoever!!!)
Well, I just got off the phone with my adoption co-ordinator Tina. She is amazing!!! I just wrote her an email not 2 hours ago stating that I was in a state of panic over the new regulations for all of Kaz prospective adoptive parents that have sprung up over the last 3 weeks. Here's my email to Tina:
"Tina,
I am in a puddle of tears right now. I don't know what to do. I just sent family announcements out yesterday introducing her as my little girl! I feel like maybe I'm not suppose to be a mother anymore! I can't imagine if I have to tell my parents that this little girl can't be their granddaughter!! They will be crushed!! I will be heartbroken! My heart is breaking right now!
As for the gift from my parents, I could say that I work part time for them (they do own a shoe store but it's in KY not TN...anything to get my Alina here)..... Would I have to come up with another employment verification letter? I don't know if my social worker will "pad" the homestudy or not. I could always ask but I just don't know if she will do it. I will not get the raise at my school until July so I can't prove that I will be earning a higher salary there until then. So that means, if I wait until July to get my new employment verification letter (I just picked up the one's I requested last week today) and have mom make up the fake employment letter saying I work for them, that would put me very close to 55,000. Is that close enough or do they want 55000 and over?
This is in-sane!! I have so much to give a child that is not monetary and no-one, not even China, understands that!!! I'm ready to call it quits if this doesn't work out!!"
She called me instantly when she read this and assured me that this is what it is....just a bump. All we have to do is word the homestudy just right and everything will be ok. Culturally in Kaz, I'm suppose to be taking care of my parents now that they are in their 50's and 60's and not them giving me money even though it's out of the goodness of their heart. Kaz would not look at it that way. They would think that I can't take care of myself and my parents are having to support me when it should be the other way around. So, I/We (my social worker that is) have to think Kazakhstani and not American. We have to re-write the homestudy so it is a resume, per say, for me. It has to make me look good for the powers that be in Kazakhstan. Geez...I'm learning more about different cultures everyday while persuing this adoption..more so than I ever did in any class I could have taken. So, I'll call Penny, my social worker, tomorrow and set up a time to do another re0write of the homestudy. After that, Alla, the Kaz/Russian program director at my agency, will look over the rough draft. She has had only 1 dossier rejected by Kaz in the time that she has been the head of these programs. Tina assured me that Alla will make sure that EVERYTHING is just what Kaz wants to see in the dossier. Tina even says that it is not uncommon for Alla to ask the social worker to re-write the homestudy 2 to 3 times just tweeking little things here and there that will assure me that Alina and I can become a family. Needless to say, I feel much better now. I want this so much it hurts! So, more hoops to jump through but if it means I get my Alina then you bet I'm a jumpin!! Hey, maybe I'll lose a couple of pounds along the way..hehe.
Well, I just got off the phone with my adoption co-ordinator Tina. She is amazing!!! I just wrote her an email not 2 hours ago stating that I was in a state of panic over the new regulations for all of Kaz prospective adoptive parents that have sprung up over the last 3 weeks. Here's my email to Tina:
"Tina,
I am in a puddle of tears right now. I don't know what to do. I just sent family announcements out yesterday introducing her as my little girl! I feel like maybe I'm not suppose to be a mother anymore! I can't imagine if I have to tell my parents that this little girl can't be their granddaughter!! They will be crushed!! I will be heartbroken! My heart is breaking right now!
As for the gift from my parents, I could say that I work part time for them (they do own a shoe store but it's in KY not TN...anything to get my Alina here)..... Would I have to come up with another employment verification letter? I don't know if my social worker will "pad" the homestudy or not. I could always ask but I just don't know if she will do it. I will not get the raise at my school until July so I can't prove that I will be earning a higher salary there until then. So that means, if I wait until July to get my new employment verification letter (I just picked up the one's I requested last week today) and have mom make up the fake employment letter saying I work for them, that would put me very close to 55,000. Is that close enough or do they want 55000 and over?
This is in-sane!! I have so much to give a child that is not monetary and no-one, not even China, understands that!!! I'm ready to call it quits if this doesn't work out!!"
She called me instantly when she read this and assured me that this is what it is....just a bump. All we have to do is word the homestudy just right and everything will be ok. Culturally in Kaz, I'm suppose to be taking care of my parents now that they are in their 50's and 60's and not them giving me money even though it's out of the goodness of their heart. Kaz would not look at it that way. They would think that I can't take care of myself and my parents are having to support me when it should be the other way around. So, I/We (my social worker that is) have to think Kazakhstani and not American. We have to re-write the homestudy so it is a resume, per say, for me. It has to make me look good for the powers that be in Kazakhstan. Geez...I'm learning more about different cultures everyday while persuing this adoption..more so than I ever did in any class I could have taken. So, I'll call Penny, my social worker, tomorrow and set up a time to do another re0write of the homestudy. After that, Alla, the Kaz/Russian program director at my agency, will look over the rough draft. She has had only 1 dossier rejected by Kaz in the time that she has been the head of these programs. Tina assured me that Alla will make sure that EVERYTHING is just what Kaz wants to see in the dossier. Tina even says that it is not uncommon for Alla to ask the social worker to re-write the homestudy 2 to 3 times just tweeking little things here and there that will assure me that Alina and I can become a family. Needless to say, I feel much better now. I want this so much it hurts! So, more hoops to jump through but if it means I get my Alina then you bet I'm a jumpin!! Hey, maybe I'll lose a couple of pounds along the way..hehe.
A Bump...Already!!!
Well, there's a bump in the road already. The coordinator for my agency just emailed me and said that Kazakhstan really wants their single applicants to be making $55,000 a year. WTF? Are they insane? I DO NOT make $55,000 a year and will never make that much. I'm in Educational Theatre! So, does this mean I have to change my career to have a child? Does this mean that I have to give up my three months off in the summer, when I could be with my child ALL THE TIME, and go work at a year round, 9 to 5 job that meets the income requirements they want? This is ludicrous!! I have sooo much to give this little girl other than my take home pay. Yes, we can live quite comfortably off what I make...not like queens but we will have food in our bellies and a roof over our head and love in our home. What else do you need? I just don't understand it! It makes me want to give up on this crazy path to motherhood. Then, I look into those brown eyes and I just melt. I have to fight for this little girl!! Now, mind you, this is what the coordinator said. I have not heard from my caseworker. I have emails into both so we'll see what they say. There is a way I can "pad" my homestudy to make it look like I make close to $55,000 but I don't know if my social worker will do that. I do receive some money from my parents every month (we call it my inheritance) that would help raise my total yearly income to close to $55,000. Again, I don't know how my social worker is going to feel about including that in the homestudy (for those who don't know what a homestudy is...it is a document prepared by a licensed social worker approving you for the adoption of a child. You have to prove to the social worker that you are capable of raising a child by providing paperwork such as medical forms, criminal checks, employment letters, etc.). This is crazy!! But, I'M NOT GIVING UP!!! I'M GOING TO BE ON MY WAY TO BEING A MAMA BY THE END OF THIS YEAR IF IT KILLS ME (well, maybe not kill me but...)!!! So, please everyone, think positive thoughts! Pray, pray, and pray some more that I can sort this out! Alina needs her mama and her mama is ME!!!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
HERE SHE IS!!!
THIS is my new adventure! I am pleased to introduce you to Miss Alina Jean Yeager. She is 4 years old. She will turn 5 in July. She is living in Kazakhstan at the moment but I hope to travel to get her, and spend 2 months in-country, in December. She literally, and no pun intended, fell into my lap about 3 weeks ago. I can't believe it!!! She is perfect! I'll tell the whole story later of how she came to me. For now, just look at those pudgy little cheeks!! I CANNOT WAIT to smooch on them!!!HAPPY ANNIVERSARY GRANDMA AND GRANDPA!!!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Welcome to my New Adventure!!!
Greetings and Welcome! I'm just now getting this blog up and running but I have great things to tell and show you. I'm glad you've joined me. Bare with me for a few days until I can add more to the blog. Come back often. I have lots to tell you!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)