Wednesday, August 19, 2009

PRE-COURT

I was not as nervous this time as I was for the Guardianship Council meeting. I was told that pre-court was much like the GC meeting and it sort of was. Don’t get me wrong, I was nervous and really didn’t sleep last night. Janette and our faithful driver picked me up in the minivan at 9:15 a.m. from the hotel. We went to the Ministry of Education (this is where all the paperwork for adoptions are processed) and the minivan stopped. Janette got out and I started to get out too but she said no…no and so I closed the door and sat back in my seat. I think the driver could sense my nervousness and decided to turn on some music. I’m glad he did. We, the driver and I, waited for what seemed like forever (I just wanted to get this pre-court session over with) but in reality, it was only about 10 minutes. Janette comes back with a lady who will represent the Ministry of Education in the pre-court session. Our driver proceeds to take us to the court house. Outside the court house, we meet up with Farida who is a translator (I’ve mentioned her before). Shirin did not come with us. Since I am the first person Shirin has translated for, I think Janette thinks she doesn’t have enough experience to translate for pre-court and court (that’s a shame because she did a great job in the GC meeting and I think she could handle it but it’s not my call). Therefore, Farida, who has a lot of experience being a translator, will be my pre-court and court translator. About Farida…she is the nicest person you will ever meet! She always, always has a smile on her face and asks how you are doing. She takes deep breaths when she is talking English and is very animated with her hands, body, and face. She has been a translator for a while and I think she is very good at it even though she apologized to me right off the bat. She said to excuse her but her English is not perfect and that she may not always say the word correctly or speak the exact pronunciation. I told her I grew up speaking English and sometimes I don’t know how to say the word correctly or the exact pronunciation! That made her laugh. I just wanted to let her know that I am not judgmental about things like that and to just be herself around me.
Next, we proceed into the foyer of the court house. There are wooden benches, a half wall, and a reception desk in front of us as we walk in the door. A very official looking man in a policeman’s uniform is seated at the desk. There are many people sitting on the wooden benches and standing in line at the desk. As I walk in the door, I feel like every one is looking at me. I should be used to these stares by now since I’ve been in this country going on seven weeks now. I notice it for about a minute, then I dismiss it and blame noticing it on my nervousness. Just inside the door to the left is a glass and wooden wall painted white and another wooden bench. The lady from the Ministry of Education takes a seat at the wooden bench by the glass and wooden wall while Janette goes to the reception desk and makes a phone call to someone, I’m assuming, telling them that we are here. Lord knows who she knows here. I think this woman must have connections everywhere. Good thing she likes me! After Janette makes her phone call, she joins the Ministry of Education woman on the bench. They tell me to sit but I am to nervous and Farida relates this to them for me. As we wait, Farida starts to ask me some questions that she thinks the Judge may ask in the pre-court session. Questions like, when I was born, where do I work, who will take care of Alina when I’m at work/after work, how old are my parents, what do my parents do, how much money do I make, am I a teacher, and so on and so on. I can tell that Farida likes to be informed and prepared for anything. She reassures me that everything will be fine and things will go okay. A young woman in a yellow cotton shirt and black skirt walks in and starts talking to Janette. She is very pretty and reminds me of one of my grad students from a few years ago. Then, the director of the orphanage walks in. I’m a little intimidated by this woman. She is very harsh looking and never smiles. At the orphanage, all I’ve heard her say is very harsh words to the staff members but she is very kind to the children and has a special place in her heart for my Alina. By the time the director walks in, Janette has disappeared. She had gone outside to make a phone call. While we were waiting, I told Farida that I had brought a photo album with me incase the Judge asked to see more photos than what was in the dossier. I pulled them out and started showing them to her. The young lady in the yellow shirt comes over and looks at the photos with us. She understands English but I don’t think she can speak it or can speak it well enough to say anything. I go through the album which has pictures of Mom and Dad, the family, the house (front, back, inside), and Alina’s room. I told Farida that I hand painted all the bugs in the boarder of Alina’s room. She then proceeds to show and tell the director about it. She looks at the pictures and just nods her head as Farida is telling her about my handiwork. No smile or anything. Oh well. Just then, our case was called. We might have waiting 10 minutes. We walked past the reception desk, behind the half wall and was led into one of the small court rooms down the hall. I know all the people sitting in the wooden benches were saying….why are they getting to go in? They should have Janette handle their paperwork : ) !!!
In the courtroom, there is the Judges desk sitting on a 5” high platform in the center of the wall to our left as we walk in. To our right, on one side of the room is the prosecutors desk and on the other is a place for the court secretary. In the middle of the room, is a podium. Behind the podium, the rest of the room is filled with six wooden benches, three on each side of the room. Janette and the official ladies sit on one side and Farida and I sit on the other in the back row. The room is about 18’ x 18’ and yeah, there are no lights in this room…no florescence or incandescence. Only a bank of five windows ceiling to mid wall on one side of the room. I guess Taraz doesn’t have night court….teehee….sorry, couldn’t resist!!! Anyway, Janette and the official ladies are chatting a bit and so are Farida and I. Farida gets a notebook out and starts to look over some words that she has written down…again, always preparing. We wait about five or so minutes and the Judge comes into the room. We all stand to show our respect. She is dressed in an official Judges robe just like in the US but hers is a nice maroon color. She is a very nice looking woman probably in her mid to late 50’s. She reminds me of my friend and mentor, Rebecca Pettys. She is of Kazakh nationality but has turned her black Kazakh hair into a nice reddish brown with highlights around her face. The colors suit her well. She has a very kind face which I’m glad to see. I know she is one of the “good” Judges just by looking at her. I’ve heard some Judges are just terrible and don’t really like the fact that foreigners are adopting Kazakh children but I don’t get this feeling from this Judge. She asks the court secretary to see if the prosecutor can come to the court room. The secretary is gone for one minute and returns, says something to the Judge and then we proceed. Next, she asks me to move to a bench in front so she can see my face. Farida and I do so. She starts out by saying that this is not a court hearing and that she just wants to have a conversation with me. I thought how thoughtful that she is so considerate toward me. She knows that I’m probably very nervous and she is trying to help me not to be so nervous. I was very impressed. I was expecting a sort of brash, official tone of the pre-court and court Judge but am pleasantly surprised. She then continues to say that she has looked over all my documents and they are all correct and in order (YEAH!!!). She then starts to ask me some questions. Even though I’m speaking English, I look at her when I am answering her questions and also when she is asking me questions and Farida is translating for both of us. She asks me:

Q: Why are you adopting a child with Asian features?

A: It’s a child who needs a home. It doesn’t matter what they look like to me.

Q: Yes, but some people who adopt Asian featured children have problems with other people when the children grow up because they are darker than there parents.

A: I understand that and I have read many stories about those situations and feel prepared when or if that time comes. (OOOO…good answer….score one for Mama!) I have many friends with Asian children and she will have many playmates that look like her.

Q: Does your family support your decision to adopt?

A: Yes. They are all very excited about it.

Q: And your parents?

A: Yes, they are very excited as well.

Q: You have been told of her illnesses?

A: Yes. (Darn…should have mentioned something about La Bonheur and St. Jude Hospitals in Memphis. Crap!!!)

Q: Why did you wait so long to adopt?

A: I was working on my career and I wanted to make sure I had a home and a stable job. I feel like adopting a child is the next step I am to take in my life.
(An ok answer but I should have thrown something in there about wanting to become a mother. Darn it!)

Farida then said that the Judge would like to see my pictures. I asked to approach the bench and she waved at me to come to her desk. Farida follows me. The Judge flips open the photo album and the first picture is of my Mom and Dad. I tell her these are my parents. I try to score a few brownie points and say “ata” and “aje” (grandpa and grandma in Kazakh). She nods her head. She says how nice looking they are and that they are young looking. The next couple of pictures are Mom, Dad, and myself that were taken during our cruise to Alaska when we were all gussied up for the Captains dinner. I made Dad rent a Tux, I made Mom’s dress and I had a black dress on with a animal print scarf on (my hair was really long then too!). I told the Judge that I had made Mom’s dress. She seemed impressed. The next few pictures were of my Mom’s brothers and sisters and the only living grandparent I have which is my Mom’s Mom. These were taken at a family reunion a couple of years ago. I also told this to the Judge. Then there were pictures of the house, inside and out, yard, etc that the Judge had seen before because they were in my dossier. She loved the colors of the living room and kitchen and she said it looked like her house (SCORE BIG TIME!!!!). I then told her that I designed and painted the kitchen myself and that my Dad and I put in the cabinetry ourselves. She then flipped through the pictures of Alina’s room. I told her that I hand painted all the bugs in the boarder and that the theme of the room was taken from the curtain fabric. She said that I was a good designer. Farida and I then went back to our seats. The Judge then asked if I had any questions and I said no. She then turns to Janette and the official ladies. They take care of some paperwork business. The court date is set for Friday, August 21st at 2:00 p.m. She then thanked all of us and dismissed us. I thanked her as I was exiting the court room but she was talking with Janette so I don’t know if she heard me. This nice lady Judge (thank the Lord in Heaven!!!) will be the Judge, along with two others I believe, at my court session on Friday.
We walk back down the hall along the half wall, pass the reception desk and people sitting on wooden benches and head out the door. I thought it went very well and Farida did too. Janette was right behind us and asked if I would like to go to see Alina in the afternoon since we had pre-court this morning. I, of course, said yes not only because I want to see my baby girl but if I wait until Friday before I visit her, she will be upset like she was last Monday. On Friday after court, the Judge will come to the baby house and see Alina and I interact. I want to make sure Alina is in a good mood when that happens. So yes, I want to go see Alina today. Janette says she will pick me up at 2:30. We walk down the steps of the court house to the minivan. I thank Farida profusely and told her I would see her Friday at 2:00. Janette, the young lady in the yellow shirt, the Ministry of Education woman and myself hop into the minivan. I am taken back to the hotel. I thank everyone when I get out and come back to the room to write this post because if I wait until after I visit Alina, I will not remember half of what went on in the pre-court session.

TODAY’S VISIT WITH MY GIRL

I thought I wasn’t going to get to visit Alina today but it turns out I did. I’m sure it will cost me an extra $40 but I shouldn’t complain. I was picked up at the hotel at 2:30 and carted off to the orphanage along with Shirin, Iema (Janette’s daughter), and granddaughter (I don’t know her name). We arrived at Umit about 2:40. Janette needed to do some paperwork so she left Shirin and I at the baby house for the visitation period. We went up to Alina’s room and they were all still taking their nap. Shirin and I went back down to the gazebo and talked for a little bit. Shirin then said she would go ask when we could go get Alina. The Kazakh people are extremely impatient but in this instance, I wasn’t complaining. Shirin leaves me and comes back very shortly. She said we could go get her at 3:00. At 3:00 on the dot, I was waiting in the foyer to Alina’s room. We got there just in time to see her in her undies running to the bathroom. I think the nanny’s woke her up earlier since I was there. She ran to the bathroom, ran back to the caretaker and got dressed, came out into the foyer and I helped her put her shoes on. She then reached up for me and smiled a big smile. I scooped her up and we went to the gazebo for our playtime.
I brought peach juice today which she really didn’t like. She drank about three drinks of it and that was it. Most of the snacks were eaten though. It took her a few minutes to wake up. She was very quite and wanted to be held by her Mama. It was quite nice for me. After she did finally get out of her sleepiness, she unloaded the toy bag and noticed that I had put a longer string on the new ladybug toy. After chowing down on some more of her snacks, she said she wanted to go play in the sand. We picked up the stacking cups and off we went to find a sandbox.
It was very strange around the orphanage this afternoon. There were no children outside playing and it was pretty quite. Usually, the air is filled with laughter, crying, and the occasional shout from a caretaker telling a little one to stop it, come here, or don’t do that. It was nice actually because Alina and I had the whole play areas to ourselves. She chose a sand box and threw the stacking cups inside. She then wanted me to take her shoes and socks off so I did. She steeped in to the sand box. Where she had stepped, the sand was hot from the sun so she quickly took her foot out. She then pointed to a place in the sand box where there was shade, pointed to me as if to say, “Mama will this sand here not be hot?” and I said, “ee-yah” which means yes in Kazakh. I have such a smart little girl! She climbs in the sand box and so do I. We sit there filling each others cups up with sand. First, I would fill her cup up and then she would fill my cup up. We went back and forth for a good five minutes or so doing this. She was jibber jabbering the whole time. It was great fun and it was just the two of us. Shirin had stayed with our other stuff back at the gazebo. I love it when it just us two and we get Mommy and Me time together. We played in the sand for about 20 minutes and then we went back to the gazebo. She climbed out of the sand box and wanted me to put her shoes and socks back on. Well, I put one sock on and then started to put her shoe on. OH NO….that’s not how it’s done. It’s socks first then the shoes. Ok…sorry miss anal retentive!!! She would not have it that I wanted to put her shoe on before her other sock was on her other foot. I don’t know if that’s a good thing or bad thing yet. I guess time will tell.
We got back to the gazebo and Janette had returned from her paperwork excursion and taking Iema to the doctor. While Iema was in the US working this summer, she had a car accident and banged her right wrist up and is now receiving physical therapy. More snacks are consumed and Alina chats with Iema. At one point, Iema is talking to her and Alina gets all shy. She is sitting in my lap eating her snacks when Iema talks to her about something (I don’t know what they were talking about) and she smiles and ducks her little head into my chest. It was the first time I had seen her act this way. Shirin and I looked at each other and smiled. We were both surprised at her shy reaction. It was quite cute I thought and she kept burying her head into my chest for a few minutes.
Janette comes into the gazebo and says in 10 minutes we need to leave because she has more paperwork to drop off for Alina and needs to do it before 5:00. So I put some Aquafor on Alina’s arms and legs and some Neosporin on her face. I gather her up in my arms, tell her to say bye bye to everyone in the gazebo and I carry her toward her room. She’s whining a bit about not wanting to leave me but not much. I keep telling her that I see her on Friday and it will be ok. We go upstairs to her room and I kiss her on the cheek and put her down in the doorway of her room. She wants to take her shoes off before she goes in because all the other kids have theirs off. Apparently, they are not allowed in the room they play and sleep in with shoes on because everyone’s shoes are lined up in a perfect little line in the foyer to the room. I help her take her shoes off. She then reaches up for me with a sad puppy dog look in those beautiful brown eyes of hers but I know she has to go. I give her a kiss and set her down inside the room this time. I say bye bye again and she slowly goes into the room to play with her playmates. I think she didn’t know if she wanted to play with her playmates or if she wanted to stay with her Mama. As I always do when I deliver her to her room, I quickly make an exit so she will have no choice but to go into the room with her playmates. Only 17 more days kiddo and you will never have to make that kind of choice again! You will be mine forever!!!!!
While Alina was sitting on my lap and eating her snacks at one point today, I whispered in her ear, “Mein sinah jacq-sah” which means I love you in Kazakh. She looked at me and said, “yeah”. I said it again and she had the biggest smile on her face and then laid her tiny little head on my shoulder. She didn’t say anything back to me but I believe she knew what I was saying. It was one of those moments that I will cherish forever. At that moment, she knew I loved her and I knew that she loved me even though she didn’t say anything back to me. It was just the expression on her face and the way she leaned into my body that I knew she understood what I meant.
Court on Friday and probably a decision whether or not I have permission to adopt Alina (I expect it to be a big YES!!). Until then……

Cheers,
Kim and Alina Jean