Thursday, July 9, 2009

Before Janette left me at the hotel yesterday, she told me that we are going to start visiting Alina in the mornings at 9:30 am instead of in the afternoons. We think she will be in a better mood, although I need to get used to those “moods“, she won’t be so tired, and it will be not as hot. That’s fine with me so today, we headed out to the baby house at 9:30. I met Janine and Janette at 9:30 in the lobby of the hotel and we took a taxi to Umit. I still can’t get over the way they drive here! It scared the devil out of me and one day, I will video our ride to the orphanage to let you see first hand at the craziness of the driving here. After the 10 minutes drive, we pull into the orphanage through the blue and yellow gates. Once again, laughter sounds ensue from many children along with some crying sounds from others. Janette heads inside to talk to the director about something so Janine and I head off to find Alina and her group. We round the corner of the building and see that they are in the same shelter as yesterday. This must be “their” shelter. Once again, some of Alina’s playmates see me and starting yelling, “Alina…Mama, Alina’s Mama!” It’s the best sound in the world. The caretaker was putting shoes on Alina who was protesting very loudly because she wanted to run into her Mama’s arms. She came to me crying today because the caretaker had upset her so I just held her. She laid her sweet little head down on my shoulder and her arms were around my neck. It was all over in about a minute and when she raised her head off my shoulder, that all to familiar impish small was on her face. I tickled her belly and off we went to our gazebo to play. I always make sure I say hello and goodbye to her playmates. I don’t want them to get too jealous that Alina has a mama and start being not so nice to her. I’ve heard this happens quite often so I always make sure to acknowledge them when I arrive and when I depart.
I have brought back to Alina her coloring book, crayons, and photo album from my purse which has pictures of her in them that I have received from other families that adopted from Umit. Today, I added in a beach ball (thanks Gili for loaning us your ball! Alina loves it!) to the mix. The ball is almost as big as her but we had a good time playing with it. We kicked it to each other, we tossed it to each other, she sat on it and bounced up and down. But nothing can take the place of the box of crayons. I chose to take a smaller box that grandma had gotten her for Christmas. I had planned on bringing the big box of 64 with the sharpener on the back (MAN I loved those crayons when I was little!). I’m soooo glad I didn’t since her favorite activity is to take the crayons out of the box and put them back in…over and over and over again. It’s really fun to watch those small little hands and fingers putting each crayon back in the box…all of them the turned the same way and one by one. I think I have a perfectionist on my hands. I’ve also noticed that she is very possessive of her things. She doesn’t mind me taking them when it’s time to go but if I start to touch them when we are visiting, I am met with the dirtiest of looks and a squeal that can only mean, “get your grubby hands off MY stuff!” Who can blame her! She’s had to fight for anything she’s ever gotten in her entire life! Fight for attention, fight for toys, fight…fight…fight! I don’t put up a fuss about right now but once we get home, she will have to learn that she doesn’t have to fight for anything anymore. I see this as a big challenge when we get back to the states.
One more thing that I discovered today is that she loves tea! She saw a bottle of tea in Janine’s purse and promptly took it out and tried to figure out how to open it. I told Alina joq, which is no in Kazak, but Janine said that is was ok. So, I unscrewed the cap a little and then let her finish taking the cap off. I’ve had enough experience with five year olds (yes, I’m talking about you Gili!) that at this age, they want to do everything themselves. So, I will promote that. Alina proceeds to try to drink tea out of the plastic bottle. She, apparently, has never done this before. She holds the opening to her mouth and starts to suck air into her mouth without raising the bottle enough so the tea can make it into her mouth. It’s funny and sad at the same time. Something we take for granted everyday…this little one has never experienced. I then put my hand on the bottom of the bottle of tea she is holding and tip it upwards. The result is a big drink of tea which gets her strangled and she starts to cough. I pat her on her little back until the coughing subsides. Another sip is taken, then another, then another, then a coughing session. She will not put the bottle down. She tells us, “tup-te-a” which means tasty in Kazak. She says it after almost every drink. This baby is in 7th heaven with her bottle of tea. I continue to help her tip the bottle toward her mouth until I’m told, “I can do it!” in the cutest little Kaz voice. So, I stop and just sit there in amazement at how this little ones life is going to change. She has no idea that in just a little over two months, she will never have to fight for attention, food, toys, anything. She will have so many new experiences. I just hope she doesn’t get to overwhelmed with it all. That will be my job in seeing that she doesn’t.
We continue to play during our visit. One thing that she enjoys is the photo album that she dug out of my purse. As I mentioned before, it is filled with pictures of her from other families who have previously adopted their children from Umit. There is a current photo of her and some of her playmates. She proceeds to name each and every one of the little ones in the photo. Then she will turn the page, take a big gasp (that takes my breathe away because I’m laughing so hard) and sees her picture and says, “Aleenaaa”. It’s quite comical but I just love hearing that big gasp coming from such a little person.
As our visit is coming to an end, Janette joins us once again. She says we should take a picture with Alina’s Nanny. The guardianship council might like to see that. So, we take the picture and once again I say to Alina, “Ya-king-eya-deen” which mean’s see you tomorrow in Kazak. And, once again, the tears start flowing as the Nanny peels her from my arms and carries her in to eat her lunch. My heart aches so much when this happens but it’s all part of the process. I just keep telling myself this to try to get through it.
On the way back to the hotel, Janine asks me what I will be doing tomorrow afternoon. I told her just writing my blog entries and working on my knitting. She asks me if I would like to go to Café Istanbul and to the Bazaar. I emphatically say yes because I’ve heard that these places are wonderful! I can’t wait until tomorrow!
Also, Janette informs me that we must go to the notary at 3:30 this afternoon. Ok…I know what a notary is in my country. Is it the same in Kazakhstan? As it turns out, it is. I needed to give power of attorney to Janette so she can submit paperwork for me to the proper authorities. So, at 3:30 I meet Janette and a driver downstairs. Janine isn’t with us as there will be a translator at the notary’s office. We jump in the car and head down the street. We pull up to a building that looks like it’s just about 150 years old. It has a banner for a sign which is very common around here. I thought we were going in the front door of this two story somewhat crumbling building. I’m following Janette closely and realize that we are going around to the side of the building toward a small awning and a few steps. We enter and find a couch and a desk with two very young women sitting behind it. One is seated at a computer while the other is handwriting something in what looks like a log book. In front of the desk sit’s a lady in a white t-shirt and white pants with long black hair that is in a braid. Her name if Farida and she is the translator. She realizes that we have arrived and quickly gets up and goes over to Janette and they kiss each other on the cheek. She then comes over to me and shakes my hand and introduces herself in English. I told her that I have heard many good things about her from other adoptive families. She blushes a little and then tells me that she has also heard of me. She knows I’m adopting Alina. It seems that Alina is a favorite of everyone! Even outside of the orphanage! Everyone inside the orphanage is so happy for her which I’m sure they are for any of the children that get adopted. But, it seems that they are especially happy for Alina. Or, that’s how they make me feel anyway. Farida has met Alina and tells me that she is so happy for her and me. She is very nice and most accommodating. She then points to the sofa in the room as tells me to sit down and she will be able to assist me in a moment. Janette is already sitting on the sofa and going through her folder of paperwork. I sit on the sofa and realize quickly that Janette needs more room for her papers so I get up and go over to a chair next to the open entrance door. Right beside me is the notary’s office. There is no one in there right at the moment. Farida continues to sign the papers in front of her. She not only has to sign it, but she has to write some sort of statement as best I could figure out. Then, once she signs it, it goes to the notary to be stamped. It just so happens, Farida was working on paperwork of a family that I have been in contact with before traveling to Kaz. They will be arriving back in Taraz in July to pick up their precious Lukas Anton which I have met and taken a photo of him for his new parents. Alina knows him as well.
It seems that the ladies behind the desk need to prepare more paperwork to Farida to sign. While she is waiting on the ladies to finish their work, Farida starts chatting with me. She expresses her sorry about Michael Jackson (I almost died when she said this! She was so sincere about it and I didn’t want to lose it in front of her face. Don’t get me wrong. I feel sorry for his family and especially his children. But Michael himself….he has abused his body so much over the years it’s not wonder his life ended so early. RIP MJ). She starts talking about watching his memorial on TV for six hours and so forth and so on. I just sit there and let her chat away, nod my head, and we both agree that it is a very sad situation. More papers are ready for her to sign so she turns back to the desk and starts her work. Janette is still working on her file of paperwork so I’m just sitting there in my chair wishing the Kazak people believed in turning on the AC. It’s hot, it’s a small room, and did I mention that Europeans don’t use deodorant? Yeah…nouf said. And to boot, the small office is getting more crowded by the minute. Finally, after an hour, Farida gets to my paperwork. It’s an official looking document written in Kazak. She explains to me what is says, makes sure my address is correct and I sign it…twice! Then I have to sign the log book and we are finished. This is not the last time I will see Farida. She will be my translator at court in a month or so. We say our goodbyes and we head back to the hotel and to my room that has AC.
I call home every evening which is morning of the same day for you guys in the US. I talk to ata, grandpa, and aja (ah-jee-ya), grandma, everyday and tell them what we did during our visitation time. They are so anxious to get over here and hug the stuffing out of this little girl. I can’t wait for her to meet them.

Sow-bul (Goodbye in Kazak)!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

It is so hot here! It’s like being back in Memphis. Darn! I thought I might get a break from the oppressive Memphis heat but alas, I am not. Oh well, at least I can feel somewhat at home while I’m here.
Today we headed to the baby house around 3:30. We had a different driver this time and a new chariot…a minivan. I think the new driver is Janette’s husband. He was an older man, very kind but still drove like a bat out of hell! Who doesn’t in this country?!!! That’s another blog entry all it’s own. So with this new driver, we take a different route to the orphanage. These new streets that we took looked no different than the others. They were all lined with people, dogs, houses with fences and gates around them some more ornate than others. The more upscale houses are painted really bright colors like pink and blue which seems to be a favorite around here. It reminds me of Miami. As we get closer to the baby house, things start looking familiar….the more run down houses or apartment buildings with laundry hanging either off the balcony or from a clothes line in the front courtyard. Children are playing everywhere and anywhere they want no matter if it is in the street or in the courtyard. The adult men are huddled under a tree at a picnic table trying to stay out of the hot sun probably swapping stories of better days.
We pull onto the dirt road that leads to the blue and yellow iron gates of Umit. I can already hear the laughter of many children. It is a welcome sound and one I thoroughly enjoy. We get out of the minivan and head down the pave stone path lined with beautiful budding flowers and, of course, the weeds. We start toward the front door which is open and I see that Alina’s group is playing in what I can only assume was an old fountain in the courtyard of the orphanage. It serves as their pool on hot days. It doesn’t have any pipes in the middle anymore. They have been removed and tile squares have replaced the bottom of the octagonal rock wall pool. I come through the front doors of the orphanage and Alina’s back is to me. She is sitting on the side of this pool with her little feet in the water with no shirt on and in some underwear…boys underwear I might add. One of her playmates who sees me walk into the courtyard points to me and says, “Alina’s Mama!” Alina instantly turns around and gives me a big smile and a wave. I walk over and pat her on the back. I get splashed by one of the other boys playing in the pool. Hey…it’s just water and I shrug it off and pretend to splash him back. It was to his delight and to the others as well. The caretaker didn’t like him splashing me and she scolded him, lightly, for it. I did not mind and thought it was quite fun to be able to connect to the other kids in Alina’s group.
After about 10 minutes, it was time for the children to get out of the pool and dry off. The caretaker took each child and one by one pulled them out of the water, stood them on a wooden slated platform to drip dry for 2 seconds and stripped them of their wet undies, wrapped a towel around them and sat them on a bench. She did this with great precision and quickness but with a gentle touch as well. The children who were wrapped in towels sat on the bench very quietly until they received dry underwear. As soon as Alina got hers on, she ran up to me with arms open wide. She wanted me to pick her up which I did most promptly. She gave me a big hug, laid her head down on my shoulder, and we stood there rocking back and forth for a few minutes. It was wonderful! Now, it was time to go get some clothes on. As Alina’s group starts toward their upstairs room, I thought she would want to walk upstairs with her group so I put her down. She took two steps inside the door, turned around to see if I was there, and then proceeded to reach up to me again. I, again without hesitation, picked her up and carried her upstairs to her room to get dressed. The caretakers took her into another room to get dressed. While I waited, all of Alina’s other playmates, roommates came up to me. They would say something in Kazak which I didn’t understand and then just laugh like it was the funniest thing in the world. I would just nod my head and laugh right back. I told one little boy that his hair was all wet and I rubbed his head. At the next moment, I had 12 others coming up to me to have their heads rubbed. It was very sweet and, if I could afford it, I’d take every single one of them home in a heartbeat! They are all so precious and deserve to have families.
Alina comes running out of the room that she was taken into to get dressed. She runs right up to me and wants me to pick her up. I do so and we proceed to head downstairs again and go into the courtyard where the “pool” is. We sit on a little bench and one of the very nice female doctors comes out and joins us. I had told her earlier that I brought medicine from America for Alina’s skin condition. I handed her a small tube of it and Janine read what was written on it to her. She said that we would try a little on Alina’s arm to see if she had any reaction to it. If she didn’t, I could start using it on her everyday that I came to visit. We followed the doctor back to her office and she puts a little Aquaphor on Alina’s right forearm. We then go to what seems to be “our” gazebo to play. After about an hour, the female doctor comes out to check on Alina’s arm. She has had no reaction to the Aquaphor so now I can start putting it on her. Great I thought. Ha! Alina will have none of that! I can’t even get to hold her arm much less put something on it! So, I let it go for now and will try a little later when she is more use to me.
Alina’s is not in a very good mood today for some reason. She was delighted to see me and wanted me to pick her up twice today but as the afternoon wore on, she because quite testy. It was getting close to dinner time and she had been swimming. Not to mention, it was very hot. So between being tired, hungry, and hot, she had every right to be a little fussy. We played some more and worked around the fussiness until it was time to go. She did let me pick her up again to say goodbye. We took a picture with her Nanny and she was then peeled out of my arms again screaming for Mama. Ugh! That is so hard especially two days in a row! So, Janine, Janette, and I hop back into the cab and make our way back to my hotel. One the way, Janine and Janette show me some restaurants to eat at that are close to the hotel and have good prices. I had heard of most of them through the other families that had traveled her but had no clue where they were. Café Istanbul is a five minute walk from the hotel and you walk through the town square. There’s Café Medvet that is also just a short walk from the hotel going away from the town square. There’s also a grocery store called Gros that is about a 15 minute walk. It has a lot more items than the little market across the street. I hope to go there tomorrow to buy some breakfast and lunch items.
After I get back to the hotel, I just go to my room and work on the presents that I am giving to Janette, Janine, and all the people at the orphanage. I have made all the orphanage staff a placemat purse, either a knitted or crocheted matching scarf and hat, and necklace/earrings to match an another pair of silver earrings. I will give Janette and Janine one of my other purses that are not placemats but were designed and constructed by me out of designer fabric. They will also get a scarf/hat and jewelry. I have some gifts for men but I really don’t know who I would give it to at this point. I have all the purses and jewelry made but still lack some hats and scarves. I figure I will finish them up while I’m here. I’ve got plenty of time on my hands. Once these presents are finished, I brought the tiniest sewing machine in the world with me and I plan on making sun hats for Alina’s orphanage. The children always have hats on when I go to see Alina. I am also going to make her first outfit that she will were when she leaves the orphanage AND her coming to America outfit. I have to keep myself busy or I will go stircrazy!
Wow! Only three pages today! You guys are getting off easy with this entry! Until tomorrow….

Paka (Goodbye in Russian)

Meeting My Daughter, Alina

On July 7, 2009 at 3:45 pm, I met my soon to be, precious daughter Alina. I got up very early…7 am (and for those who know me, that is VERY early for me). I was told that the coordinator would take me to Umit Baby House that morning. I got up early, showered, got dressed and proceeded to watch the 1st season of NCIS on DVD that mom and dad let me borrow for the trip (thanks Grandma and Grandpa!). I had heard that most visitation times are either 10 to 12 or 3 to 5 so I thought, since I had been told that the coordinator Janette would be at the hotel in the morning, that the 10 to 12 visitation time would be my time with Alina (thus the reason I got up so early). Well, 10 am arrived and went and no phone call from anyone. So, I just keep waiting in my room, patiently, for someone to contact me. I finally get a call from the translator Janine (pronounced Sha-nin) at 12 saying that Janette was on her way and that she would be in Taraz around 1. Ok…what else can I do but sit and wait and watch more NCIS. One thirty came and went and at 2, Janine calls and says that she and Janette and my driver, Ernur (still can’t pronounce his name) will be at the hotel at 3 and we will go see Alina. Butterflies are now rolling in my stomach as I think about mine and Alina’s first meeting. Will this little girl realize who I am? Does she know what’s about to happen to her life? Do I realize what’s about to happen to my life? These questions remain unanswered and will for a while but Alina and I will find out the answers together.
Janine comes to my hotel door at 3 and says that Janette is downstairs in the lobby. We proceed downstairs after I gather my purse loaded with a coloring book, crayons, goldfish, and stickers (all offered as “bribes” to get Alina to like me :) ). We jump in the chariot (a white Toyota Camry) and head toward Umit. The streets we take to Umit are lined with houses, businesses, and office buildings. Signage to what type of business or office buildings are not the biggest in the world and if you don’t know where you are going, I’m assuming you could get lost very easily. We are talking all the way to Umit. Janette is asking me questions about Memphis, family, and other things while Janine is translating them to me and translating my answers to Ernur and Janette. It’s very comical and they talk amongst themselves in their own language (usually Russian) and I’m certain they are talking about me but I wouldn’t know. I try to be as cordial as I can and laugh when they laugh and answer their questions as best I can. They are extremely nice people and I feel very safe with them.
We finally arrive at the Baby House which is located behind what looks like an very run down apartment building. Umit is not visible from the street and again, signage was limited. If I had not seen a video of the orphanage that was taken by other adoptive parents, I would not have recognized where I was. But, the all to familiar gate of Umit was recognizable because I had watched the video to many times to count. We get out of the car and Janette goes inside to tell the director that I am there to see Alina. Ernur stays by the car and Janine and I wait outside in one of the gazebos. I’m trying to get Janine to relax a bit because I think this is her first translation job. She seems very nervous. So, I start asking her about herself…does she go to school, how old is she, etc. I find out that she is a student at the University in Taraz studying English and German. She is on summer break until September. She wants to adopt after she is married. She is very young..I would say 21 or 22. She never told me how old she was but she is a sweet girl and very attractive. As we are talking, I apologize to her about asking Ernur to take me to a grocery store, Gros, that some other adoptive parents had told me about. I ask him to do this on Monday when we arrived in Taraz. It seemed to me that I upset him because he immediately called Janette and started raising his voice on the phone. After a while, he handed the phone to Janine. Janine and Janette spoke for a few minutes and then their conversation ended. I was then told, very politely, that if I wanted to have something to eat, I could eat at the hotel restaurant. I dropped the subject right then and there and never mentioned it again. I thought to myself, “Great Kim! You haven’t been in the city more than 20 minutes and you’ve already made people angry with you!”. That was not my intention at all but when communication is limited, it’s hard to convey exactly what you want. So, as Janine and I are sitting in the gazebo, I told her that I wanted to apologize for asking Ernur to take me to Gros. I said I thought that he got upset with me. She said that he did not get upset at all and that he was fine. Good, I thought. Lord knows I don’t want anyone angry with me in a foreign country who I have to rely on.
Janette finally returns with one of the caretakers of the baby house and a man dressed in camouflage Bermuda shorts and black T-shirt. They both know I am there to adopt Alina. We proceed to go toward the front doors of Umit. Again, a familiar sight due to the video I had seen countless times. To the right and left are overgrown flower gardens. The flowers are in bloom right now and they are very pretty but there are so many weeds it’s hard to see them. Apparently, they do not mow lawns or weed flower beds in Kazakhstan. We walk up the pave stone path to the two wooden doors. We enter and turn left going down a hallway. We pass the directors office. She is not there because she is on vacation. We pass some other administrative offices and arrive at another office. I walk in and there are two desks piled with paperwork, a couch, a matching chair, and a wooden wardrobe which, I’m assuming, acts as their filing cabinet. There is a woman dressed in a light blue uniform dress (something like a nurses uniform) sitting behind one of the desks writing something in a book that looks like a journal. She looks up, sees me and the others and gives a nod of her head and smiles. I am instructed to have a seat on the sofa. I sit down and shortly thereafter, another lady, dressed in a light blue uniform dress enters the room. She is taking over for the Director while she is on vacation. Janette is still trying to find Alina. Apparently, she was outside with her group and they were having a snack. So, while we waited for her to finish her snack, I was asked questions by the lady who was standing in for the director and the caretaker and man who met us out front. They had entered the room shortly after us. I was asked how old I was, how do you pronounce my street name, did I know about Alina’s skin condition, etc. And of course, EVEN in Kazakhstan, once the man found out that I was from Memphis, Tennessee, he proceeded to talk about Elvis. I couldn’t believe it!! I know now that I’m not giving Elvis the credit he deserves. He really is know world wide! I told the man that I lived only about 20 minutes from Elvis’ house and that seemed to tickle him.
I’m sitting on this couch for what seems like an eternity when in all reality it was only about 10 minutes. As per procedure, they had to show me another child. They brought in the cutest little baby boy who had a cleft lip/cleft palate. Nothing was said to me about him. Just the fact that he had been shown to me was enough for the people in the room. Then, I hear little footsteps coming down the hall. My mind is racing, my stomach is turning, and I feel like I’m going to faint. In the door walks this teeny, tiny brown headed, brown headed, brown skinned girl who I had only known through pictures. Janette was with her and brought her toward the couch. As I’m sitting there fighting back tears, I said hello and she just lowered her little head. Janette told her that I was her mama and to come and give me a hug. She raised her head, looked me in the eye and come to me with arms open wide, crawled into my lap and wrapped her little arms around me. She then proceeded to lay her tiny head on my shoulder. I think I finally took the breath that I had been holding for a year and a half. I stroked her back and kissed her tiny head. It was all I could do not to break down and sob. I had promised myself that I would try to hold it together in front of her. I was very proud of myself because I did. After the hug, she sat on my lap for a few seconds and then got back down. I was being bombarded by questions and people telling me things about her but I certainly don’t remember what they said. All I could do is look at that precious little face. Janette, again, told Alina that I was going to be her Mama and Alina came and sat in my lap again. She willingly did so but there was no eye contact this time. That’s ok…it’s a trust thing. We’ll work on it.
As Alina is sitting on my lap, the lady in the light blue uniform dress tells me about Alina. She is reading from a journal book just like the one the other uniform dress lady was writing in when we arrived at the office. I was told that she was the first born of a young woman and that she was born at 42 weeks. I was asked if I understood her skin condition and, of course, I said yes. They told me that the condition was getting better as she got older. And, in fact, through my research, that is very common with the form of Icthyosis she has. She will never get rid of it and it will come back when she is older but it is very treatable with creams and lotions. I asked for other medical records that they might have on Alina and was met with some opposition so I just let it go. I’m going to email our pediatrician and see what she has to say. I was also told that her growth had slowed in the past year. That’s no surprise to me as most institutionalized children are behind in development because they do not get the care or nutrition they need. I’m not concerned about that one bit! She’ll catch up once we get home. All of the adoptive parents I have spoken to about this issue assure me that the kids do catch up and rather quickly. She does like more like a 3 year old than a 5 year old. She is very tiny as far as height goes but she still has pudgy cheeks and arms.
After I was told about Alina, I was asked if I had any questions. I couldn’t think of any at all at that moment but I said I might have some later. We then proceeded to go for a walk outside. It seems they like to get the children outside as much as possible. She was given a cookie (hat I now know is something like our butter cookies because I just bought some this morning at the market across the street from the hotel) by one of the blue uniform ladies to coax Alina in to going outside. As we walked back down the entrance hall and passed the Director’s office, Alina approaches the door and proceeds to knock on it. Janette tells Janine that she wants to go into this office because she knows that when you do, you get adopted. My heart breaks again. We walk back out the front doors, down the pave stone path and take a right. Here, again, there are weeds everywhere and among them you can see little shelters where the children play. There is very old playground equipment in the weeds to but I did not see anyone playing on them. We proceed to walk around the baby house exterior until we see a shelter just off the path and not surrounded by as many weeds. Alina decides to go to this one.
Janette had gone to speak with the other people at the baby house and Janine remained with me and Alina. We enter the open air shelter. There is a thin, dirty red rug lying on the floor and a long kid sized bench against the only wall of the shelter. Alina spies a bag of old toys in the tall, worn out storage closet. She immediately goes over, pulls it onto the rug, and proceeds to pour out all the toys in the bag. I promptly seat myself on the rug across from her so I can be at eye level with her. I thought, “Now is the time to start with eye contact.” We sit and play with the toys for a few minutes and then I start to pull out the goodies I had brought. While we were walking to the shelter, I had pulled the ladybug stickers out. Those were a big hit! Alina would not give them up so she carried them with her to the shelter. I then pulled out the crayons, coloring book, and Goldfish. Boy, the Goldfish was a bit hit too! I even got her to say fish! But, the biggest hit of all was the crayons and the box. She had no interest in coloring what so ever. What she loved doing is taking the crayons out of the box and then putting them back in. She did this many times and seemed to enjoy herself thoroughly. I would hand her a color and tell her the name of it. She did manage to say blue but that was about it. I didn’t care! My baby was having a grand old time with the crayons and stuffing her mouth the those tasty Goldfish!
The next thing that happened is going to break your heart. Get a tissue now because if you don’t cry or at least tear up, there’s something wrong with you. So, we are sitting there playing in the shelter and the 3 to 4 year old group (all boys) are passing by on there way to another shelter along with their caretaker. Alina hears them and gets up and goes over to the edge of the shelter and gives them a big wave. They spot Alina and see me and they shout to her (through the translation of Janine), “Alina, is that your Mama?” Alina answers at the top of her voice, “Iya!” (pronounced ee-ya meaning Yes in Kazakh) and flings her pudgy arm out and points that tiny little finger back toward me. After Janine told me what was being said, I lost it!! I couldn’t hold back the tears anymore! The flood gates had opened…the dam broke! Once Alina had told them yes, they all yelled back to her as if to say, “Yeah for Alina!!!”. It was the sweetest thing on earth and I will never, never forget it. It was all I could do to pull myself back together. I think even Janine cried a little. Now, Ernur joins us and he as Alina where he Mama is? Once again, she flings that pudgy arm out and points to me. I am in seventh heaven by now.
As our first visitation time draws to a close, Janette joins us once again. She then asks me if I still want to adopt Alina. My answer was, “Oh yes…Oh yes”. Janine tells Janette what just happened with the boys and Janette smiles and says, “It looks like Alina has found her mother.” I said, “We had found each other.” Janette told Janine that the entire orphanage staff wanted Alina to have a mother because Alina so badly wanted one. Alina’s realizes what is going on when strange looking people come to the baby house, choose a child, and adopt them. They told me that when she is not chosen by a family, she goes back to her room and cries. No more tears my baby! Ever again! God has chosen you to be my daughter and I am so grateful!!! I was also told by Janette that the entire baby house staff is going to celebrate that Alina finally gets a family of her own. It seems everyone loves my little one and everyone is so happy she is being adopted.
It was time to say goodbye…or Paka in Russian…So Bul (sow-bull) in Kazakh. Janette tells Alina that we have to go and asks Alina to come and give me a hug and kiss. With Goldfish bag in her hand, she comes over, gives me a great big hug and plants a kiss on my cheek. I hold her close to me and hug her back and kiss her on the head. We start walking back toward the car where Ernur has been so patiently waiting for us. Janine and Jeanette take Alina back inside through the front doors of the baby house and I proceed to join Ernur in the car. We get on the road and I am taking back to the hotel via the white chariot. One the way, we talk business, procedures of how the rest of the adoption process will go, and Janette asks me how long I will be staying and would I prefer to stay in a flat (ie apartment) instead of the hotel. For safety reasons, I tell her I’d rather stay at the hotel but in a smaller room. I’m in a room right now that has a dining room, a sitting area, a bedroom, a shower, a bathroom (with a real toilet) and another small area that has a table and small fridge. She is concerned about how much it’s going to cost me but I tell her I’d rather feel safe and pay extra for the hotel room. She then says that she will talk with the hotel people to see if she can get me a deal since I will be staying 3 months until the adoption is completed. Most people do not stay the entire time. I’m one of the lucky ones. I have the time off work so I’m staying. It puts a major strain on the budget but how could I leave after meeting Alina? There is no way I could meet this little cherub, go back home for 6 weeks and then come back. I would be an emotional wreck! So, I’m sucking the cost up and staying here the entire time. I will also get to visit Alina everyday that I’m here. That means, we can continue the bonding process.
Oops…I promised this would be shorter didn’t I? Oh well, a lot has happened in the last two days. Thanks for hanging in there until the end. More tomorrow.

Hello from Taraz, Kazakhstan!!!

I’m here! After 32 hours of traveling and losing 1 day, I’ve made it to Taraz, Kazakhstan! The flights, Memphis to Chicago, Chicago to Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Almaty, Kaz, went off without a hitch! I arrived in Almaty around 11:40 pm, got through the Passport Control around 12:05 am and met my driver Ernuy (don’t ask me how to say it because I don’t have any idea) and we were off for a seven hour car ride to Taraz. I checked into the hotel around 7:30 am after meeting my guide Janine. I get today, Monday, to rest and then bright and early, I’m anticipating, tomorrow (Tues, July 7th) I meet with my coordinator Janette. Transactions will ensue, explanation of the rest of the trip will be explained and then it’s on to the baby house (this is what they call an orphanage in Kaz) to see my precious Alina for the first time!
People keep asking me, “Aren’t you excited?” and really, it’s all still to surreal to even think about answering that question. I am still so numb from all of this happening so “quickly” (the trip I mean) that I am just trying to keep one step ahead. Now that I’m here in Kaz, maybe it will hit me. Probably like a ton of bricks! I anticipate that all of this not knowing what to think will fade away when I get to see my Alina’s face in person for the first time. I still don’t know how I’m going to react. I’m going to try to keep it together for her but we’ll see.

Three planes and then a car…just some observations about my travels so far.
This is my first trip oversees. I’ve never traveled outside the US or Canada. It was interesting to say the least. I’ve heard O’Hara in Chicago was huge but you really don’t know how huge it is until you have flown into it and experienced it for yourself. Luckily, I didn’t have far to go from one gate to the other. I found my Frankfurt gate rather easily. Thank God most airports have great signage. Otherwise, traveling via air would be a catastrophe! The Frankfurt airport was not as large as Chicago but was a lot more confusing. Again, this was my first time to see a sign in German and English so it took a little more time to find my gate there. Again, I was lucky that the gate that I arrived at was not far from the gate I needed to be at for my Almaty flight. I did go in a circle twice trying to find the gate by myself then I finally gave up and asked an airport employee who was very helpful. I had a four hour layover in Frankfort so I whipped out the last in the series of Harry Potter books which I haven’t had a chance to read yet (I know….I know!!!) and starting reading. Boy, the Europeans do not believe in air conditioning! The Frankfurt airport was hot and I was sweating sitting down. And, why do Europeans NOT use deodorant? Holy BO Batman!!! Nough said about that! Boarded a huge plane in Frankfurt, spent eight and half hours sitting next to a young guy who didn’t say a word to me. At least I was seated in an exit row so I had lots of leg room. I believe on this flight, I crossed about three time zones! Arrived in Almaty (see above), went through Passport Control and meet my driver who speaks only about 3 words in English. They are Toilet, Smoke, and Okay. He was a very sweet guy but we could not communicate at all. He did have a piece of paper that had words on it like toilet, stop the car, turn the music up/down/off and a few others written in English and then the Kazak spelling next to them. I could just point at the one I needed and he would know what I needed or wanted him to do. Thank God he had toilet on there because about an hour into our journey, I needed to go. Now, I know I’m not in America anymore and I know things are going to be different here. But, this toilet experience was really an eye opening one. It’s 1:30 in the morning so we stop at a gas station (there are gas stations it seems every 2 or 3 miles here…very strange). My driver proceeds to ask the gas station attendant (who looked 12) where is the bathroom. He points to around the side of the building. I’m thinking ok..it’s like in America where you get a key and you go to the side of the building where there is a door to a room that, for one, hasn’t been cleaned in the last 24 hours, consists of a toilet, some toilet paper that, hopefully, someone hadn’t dropped on the floor, a sink that, hopefully, wasn’t clogged and maybe some paper hand towels to wipe my hands on after I had just touched the nastiest sink in the world. Notice I didn’t mention anything about having soap or a soap dispenser…I knew I probably was asking for a little much there. Hey, a girl can be hopeful for these things right? HA! We, the driver and I, proceed to the side of the building, then proceeded to go behind the gas station to an outhouse complete with a tin roof, a door that didn’t lock much less close and a hole in the floor for the toilet! Did I mention it was 1:30 am and pitch black outside? Yeah…I could only smell the hole…I actually can’t see it. As I’m trying not to gag my guts out, I wasn’t even about to approach the hole because I couldn’t see it and I WAS NOT about to step into it. So, I take 2 steps into the lovely little out house, pull up my pants legs, pull down my pants and do my business…all the while trying NOT to pee on myself. It was an interesting experience to say the least. I pulled myself together quickly, as the smell was absolutely horrendous, and scurried back to the white Toyota Camry that was my chariot to Taraz. Thank God I had some hand sanitizer (Thanks Tam!!!), some Wet Ones and some Vanilla body spray in my carryon bag which I had with me in the backseat. I slathered myself with all three and felt somewhat better. At least my bladder was empty and happy.
So, we head out again on our journey. The road so far have been nicely paved and lined in the middle and on the outside. I thought, “Hey, this car ride might not be so bad after all!” HA! For one, there is no speed limit in Kazakhstan! I did not see one sign that pertaining to a speed limit. This means you can go as fast or as slow as you want, right? Our chariot, which was a very nice and comfortable car, only had km (is that right?) and I know that that is not the same as our mph. At one time when the tires of the chariot felt like they were barely touching the ground, I looked at the speedometer and we were going 140 km. I just closed my eyes, said a little prayer and tried to get some sleep.
At 3:30 am, I felt the car slow down, as my eyes were stilled closed..half due to exhaustion and half due to me still praying, and heard the blinker come on. So, we pulled over because the driver needed a pit stop. Pit stop achieved and we get back into the car. Little did I know that I would never see or feel the nicely paved road again. As we pulled out of the gas station that we had pulled over at for the pit stop, we turned onto another road that, needless to say, was not as nicely paved or lined as the one we were just on. Imagine, if you will, the ruttiest, most uneven country road you can think of and then pave it without leveling it off first. That’s the kind of road we turned onto. Some places were better than others but going 140 km on this type of road was, to say the least, a little nerve wrecking. Once again, I closed my eyes, said a little prayer, and tried to catch some shut eye.
The people who drive in this country are crazy! I thought Memphians were bad for not using their turn signals! In this place, you’re lucky to not have a head on collision due to the fact no one uses their turn signals and everyone drives at a breakneck speed…because they can!!!! This other road that we turned on to was a two lane road almost all the way to Taraz. Thus, if someone was going slower than my driver, he would pass them no matter who or what was coming down the other side of the road! Everyone who was driving did this! We were even passed by other cars going faster than us!
As daylight broke, I told myself to wakeup because I’m trying to prepare my internal clock for the time change. I’m so glad I did. As I opened my eyes, yawned, and stretched my legs out in the car, I look to the right and I see flat land. This is a familiar sight. It looks like the scenery from when I drove to Utah to work at Utah Shakespearean Festival some years ago. I told my self all I needed were huge snow capped mountains in the distance and it would be exactly like my trip out west. I look to my left and guess what I see? Huge snow capped mountains in the distance! It’s just like the western US! I was so awed by the sight! It’s just amazing to be at the base of a mountain where it’s 70 degrees and look up and see the tops of the mountains covered in snow. It’s a really pretty sight.
As we keep driving at the base of these snow capped mountains on the two lane road, we start to come upon roadside communities. Everyone has a fence around there little community and each house has a gate that you have to enter to get onto someone’s property. The houses are far from extravagant but not hovels either. They’re by no means middle income houses either. I would imagine that they are two to three room houses, some maybe with dirt floors and maybe an inside bathroom. But, if I had to bet, most of the bathrooms would be outside. It is so funny to see these types of houses by the side of the road with their wooden shingles, corrugated tin patches on the sides of the house, and the all to familiar satellite dish just outside the fenced in yard. I had to chuckle to myself as I saw dish after dish lining the road. I doubt most of these people could afford a car payment much less buy a satellite dish! It was very amusing.
Also, as we rushed passed these quaint little communities at the wee hour of
5:30 am, I saw cattle and goats roaming outside the fences. Just grazing beside the road. There was so much land behind the houses and the animals were in front of the houses next to the road grazing. Very interesting indeed. There were old men out to take their prized cow on a walk and graze, a little boy yawned as he herded the families sheep over to the other side of the road were there was more grass to eat and, close behind, the ever faithful family dog helping to keep the animals in line. I felt like I was on the set of a movie. I know I’ve seen this scene over and over again in the movies that I’ve watched. It also took me back to the time when I was designing the scenery for the musical Fiddler on the Roof. So many of the fences and houses reminded me of the research I had done for that show.
The Kazakhstan people also love statues. There were statues everywhere. Almost every little roadside community had one. And, they were all different. Some had the patina of copper that had been out in the weather for some time, others were painted. One I saw was painted bright gold. I’m sure they all symbolize something or someone but only the people of Kaz know who or what they commemorate. There were also some beautiful mosaics alongside the road. These mosaics where located on bus stand shelters. They were absolutely gorgeous! So colorful and artistic with circles, waves, and abstract patterns. There were also what looked like carved plaster ones as well. Each depicted a scene usually consisting people doing something…playing sports seamed to be a big theme among these stands. These bus stands were not just metal and glass with a metal roof. For one, they were works of art constructed from brick with interestingly shaped leg supports in the shapes of V’s and roofs that were slanted. There were no benches but at least they were covered so one could be out of the weather. That’s another thing….there were transportation buses everywhere!!! And, they are not like the dinky MATA buses of most cities. These looked like old tourist buses that independent bus owners had bought and started their own transportation business. It was all very interesting to see.
As we got closer to Taraz, the two lane turned into a four lane and my American mind thought, “Ah, we must be getting closer to a bigger city.” And, hey, we were. By 6:45 am we had entered the city of Taraz. Immediately, I noticed a peculiar smell. It was a mixture of farm land and petrol…heavy on the petrol. As we stop one last time to get some gas, the driver makes a phone call to Janine, my guide for the day. He tells me something to the fact that she will meet us at the Hotel Zhambul.
We arrive at the hotel and we have to wait on Janine about 5 minutes. When she arrives, she introduces herself and we proceed inside to the hotel desk to pay for my room. The driver, whose name I can’t pronounce even after spending the last 7 hours with him, is busy dragging my 64 lbs and 49 lbs suitcases up two flights of stairs to room 220. As we are speaking with the desk clerk, the driver comes back down and gets my carryon, which was not light either, and drags it upstairs as well. Janine shows me where the hotel restaurant and bar are and then she takes me upstairs to my room. There are no lights on anywhere in this hotel. There were no lights on in the lobby, in the restaurant, in the hallways. I was told by a family who had been here a week earlier to pack a small flashlight. Now, I know why. The hallway where the rooms are located were dark. The only light is coming in from the window at the end of the hallway and what is spilling out from the open stairway that we just ascended. We reach my room and I can’t even see the lock to unlock it with my key (YES…an actually key instead of a keycard). We finally get the door open and I walk into the foyer of the room. To the left is the bathroom, complete with sink and toilet (thanks be to God!!). To the right, is a small room with a small fridge and small table. In front of me is the sitting room complete with sofa, TV and table along with the only air conditioner in the room (which works quite well I might add). I walk into the sitting room and to the left is a dining room complete with table, chairs, chandelier, and china cabinet all in black lacquer with gold trim. To my right is my bedroom complete with the very low to the ground bed, dresser, wardrobe, bedside table with lamp, and the shower. It is very adequate but I don’t think I need something so big. I’ve already paid for 3 days without looking at the room so I will probably ask for something smaller thus hoping to cut my hotel bill down especially since I’m will be staying for two and a half months. The driver has lugged my suitcases into the sitting room as Janine and I look at my bedroom. The air conditioner is not on and there are no lights on in the room either. Janine shows me the bathroom with the toilet and sink. I excuse myself to use it. After finally locating the light switch, I emptied my bladder which I hadn’t done for the last 5 hours. I was not going to ask the driver to pull into another gas station. One outhouse experience in a foreign country in a millennium is enough for me. After I had emptied my bladder again, Janine asks me if I had exchanged any of my American dollars to Tenge (pronounced ten-ga), the official currency of Kazakhstan. I hadn’t so she said that the she and the driver would take me to do just that. We head out the door and I have mistakenly left the bathroom light on. Janine promptly tells me (in a little bit of an upset tone in her voice) to turn the light off. Even though I catch the tone in her voice, I say nothing and just apologize and move on.
By now it’s 8 am…still very early even in Kaz. We drive around for 20 minutes trying to find an exchange place open and finally we do. At the suggestion of Janine, I exchange $200 American dollars for the equivalent in Tenge. After that, I asked Janine if we could go to a grocery store so I could get some bottled water. I have been told by everyone NOT TO DRINK THE WATER! Don’t even brush your teeth with it! Well, you had thought I had asked the driver to give a pint of blood. He instantly calls Janette, the coordinator I’ll meet on Tuesday, and starts, what I’m assuming, to complain in a very loud voice. He hands the phone to Janine who seems more calm than the driver. After Janine hangs up the phone, I was basically told that I would not be taken to Gros, the grocery store that the other adoptive parents told me about located just down the street from the hotel, and that if I wanted something to eat, I could eat in the hotel restaurant. Fine…whatever…I’m tired, I smell, just take me back to the room so I can take a shower. Of course, I didn’t say this but I certainly was thinking it. We get back to the hotel, Janine helps me purchase a hotel breakfast pass and she leaves along with the driver. I’m all by myself now. So, I go back up to my room, take a much needed shower and get dressed. I roamed around the apartment some more, in daze more than just investigating, and found that the little white frig has 2 large bottles of water, beer, a Snikers bar, nuts, chocolate and a few other things that I have no idea of what they are. My bottled water problem has been solved so I grab my computer and head to the business center to call Mom and Dad on Skype.
I was trying to figure out what time it was in Kentucky but I was so tired I couldn’t do it. I thought I would just take my chances and hope it wasn’t too late and I wouldn’t wake them up. It just so happens I didn’t and they were glad to hear from me. I have a feeling I will be calling them at least every other day. It was good to hear their voices even though it had only been 38 hours since I had seen them. After the phone call, I called my house sitter to check in and then checked my email. After that, I proceeded to partake of the most unusual breakfast but it was very tasty. There were pastries, potatoes with onions and something pickled in them, a potato cake filled with some sort of cheese, fruit, whole grain cereal, crepes, sausages, cheese, and hot water for tea and instant coffee. After I had feasted, I grabbed an apples to take to my room for later. I went back to the Business Center to play on the computer some more. Since there is only on high-speed hook up and one hotel computer, I was only there for about 40 minutes as I didn’t want to tie the only high-speed connection up to much. I then came back to the room, turned on the TV and started writing this blog entry.
There…you have it! My experiences in Kaz so far! To long?!!! Well, I tried to keep it interesting plus I had a long 36 hours. The next posts will not be so long. Plus, they will have pictures and just updates of what Alina and I are doing.
Thanks for hanging in there and reading to the end. Smaller blog entry coming soon!!!

Time is running out....

T-minus 14 hours and 20 minutes til I fly to see my girl! I am packed and the suitcases are sitting next to the door! Both bags are overweight but what can you do when you are living in another country for 3 months! I re-packed three times trying to get them under 50 lbs...couldn't do it so I gave up. I'll just have to suck it up and pay the overweight fines. Mama's coming soon Alina Jean!!! Next post from Taraz, Kazakhstan along with the first pictures of me and Alina!!!

The Countdown has BEGUN....

1 DAY, 11 HOURS AND 45 MINUTES TILL I FLY TO SEE MY GIRL! My stomach is in knots and it's 2:20 am and I can't sleep! Go figure! Still got some packing to do and last minute errands tomorrow to finish up. Thank God my parents are here to help me with last minute stuff! Not to mention, see me off on the trip of a lifetime Saturday! God love 'um!!!

New Picture taken 6/25/09!!

Just look at that belly!!! I want to tickle it and smooch on it so badly!!! Hold on baby!! Mama's comin'!! I am so thankful to the two families that have provided me pics this week. They are bonding with their children right now and we have been in contact with each other through our adoption agency for about 3 weeks now. They are not staying the entire time like me. They are having to make three trips. So, while they are gone, I'm going to take pics of their little ones to return the favor they have done for me.

Leavin' on a Jet Plane....

That's right! I'll be leaving on a jet plane on July 4th, seeing my sweet Alina's face for the first time on the morning of July 5th!!! It seems so surreal! I just keep asking myself, "Is this really happening? Am I really going to fly half way around the world to meet this little girl that was meant to be my daughter? Will she know that I'm her forever Mama? Does she have any idea how much her life is going to change in the coming days, months, years? Do I know how much my life is going to change in the coming days, months years?" I don't know....she doesn't know...but I guess we'll find out together.
I've not let myself get excited about the prospect of becoming a mother..especially when I was in line for China. Emotionally, I've cut myself off from those feelings because I knew that it would be years before I would see my daughters face. I did it to preserve my sanity. But now, all those emotions that I've been holding back for 3 years have suddenly surfaced just in the past two days. In other words...I'M A WRECK!!! But, in a good way, if that makes any sense at all. I find myself crying at the stupidest things....a song I've her a gazillion times that has never gotten to me suddenly has me weeping my heart out. A commercial on television that I've seen a hundred times suddenly has new meaning to me and touches my heart in a way it never did before. I make to do lists everyday to try to keep myself on track but I just seem to ramble around the house in this daze and hardly get anything accomplished. What are these feelings? What is this state of mind that has me in a daze? How long is it going to last? What in the hell am I doing? This line of questioning could go on for hours, weeks, days. Will I ever find the answer to them? Is there an answer to them?
All I know is that I just want to get on that plane, travel for 34 hours, and meet this beautiful little girl that I've only connected with in pictures over the last one year and four months. My heart aches to do this. It's been aching for 3 years...ever since I started this adoption journey in Oct. '06. And now, it's finally happening. The light at the end of the tunnel is getting bigger....this adoption rollercoaster is rounding the last curve and just about to pull into the station. Am I ready to burst out of the tunnel into the light? Am I ready to disembark off this ride? Even in this daze, through all the questions that I have in my head............YES...with a resounding yell...YES!!!

New Title for me....MOTHER!!!

I found out TODAY that I will be traveling to Kazakhstan by the end of JUNE to meet Alina!!! NOT AUGUST.....JUNE.....THAT'S IN 3 WEEKS PEOPLE!....NOT 3 MONTHS BUT 3 WEEKS!!!! This time 3 weeks from now, I will be meeting my daughter for the first time! I'm sooooo overjoyed, overwhelmed, and over the moon!!! This is really going to happen! I'm gonna be a MOMMY!!! YIPPEEEEE!!!!

I have soooooooo much to do! Here I thought I had 3 months! Now, I only have 3 weeks!!! I'll take it though....not complaining at all...not one bit! I will have to spend 3 months in country instead of 2 like I origianly thought but WHO CARES!!! The timing of this could not have worked out any better! I'm officially on summer vacay from school (I teach at a University) and my adoption leave begins Aug. 24! So, this means that when I leave at the end of June, I'll be back around the last of Sept/first of Oct. and have 3 whole months with Alina at home before I have to go back to work in Jan. 2010 and she goes into Kindergarten!!!! I don't know what I've done to deserve all this good luck but God is really smiling on me right now. Thank you God!! You do work in mysterious ways!!!

Happy MOTHER'S DAY!!

To all the mothers and mothers-to-be, a sincere Happy Mother's Day! We, as mothers, are so blessed to be able to have the chance to be a mother. Cherish it, not only today, but everyday. We are so lucky to have these little cherubs in our lives, whether they are home with us or still waiting for us to bring them home. Hug them, kiss them, squeeze their cheeks even if they don't want us to....even if they are 12, 24, or 32. Tell them you love them every chance you get and be proud of the person they have become or will become. And, be proud in the fact that you had a little hand in who they will become or what they have become. That's what mothers are for!!!

Dossier in Kazakhstan!!

Just got my credit card bill that my FedEx account is linked to and by the $233.51 charge on 5/01, I can only assume that my dossier is safely in Kaz by now! If all goes well, I should be traveling in or around August and hopefully home Sept/Oct. This has been a long and winding journey but I believe I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not blinding me yet but at least it's getting bigger. Now it's time to plan for the trip of a lifetime were in my life will change forever...for the better.

Doin' the Happy Dance!!

(This is an actual photo of my dossier with the exception of 3 time sensitive documents, more photos of Alina's room, the house, backyard, nearby parks, zoo, children's museum (it was my idea to add pics of the parks, zoo, and museum) and the 2 new documents that Kaz required while I was gathering all this. Not only are there originals in here but 5 copies of each original document, authentication of notary, and apostille!)

Just got word today that my dossier is at the Kazakhstan Embassy!!! It should be there for 2 to 4 weeks and then on to Kazakhstan!!! My caseworker told me that the best estimate for traveling would be around August. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!! I'm still numb. I don't know what to think, say, or do. I really don't think it has sunk it yet or if it ever will. In just 4 very short months (I hope!) my life is going to change....forever!! I am really going to be a mother..mama...mommy! AGH!!!!!!!

For those of you not of Facebook....

Here on some pics of Alina's room. It's finally finished, with the exception of an art activity table, just in time for me to take pics for Kaz. Enjoy!!!

I designed and painted this mural myself!







This is a Target find that I just fell in love with!







I wish this pic wasn't so dark. I hope you can see how adorable the polka dotted chair is! It's the cutest thing on the planet!!






This is Alina's bed. It's a captains bed with 3 drawers under it. The quilt on the bed was a major find and goes perfectly with the decor of the room!


This is a bedside shelf. Since there are drawers under the bed, I didn't want a bedside table because it would block one of the drawers. So, I ask Grandpa to make us a shelf and THIS is what he came up with! It's so adorable! All I need to do it paint it.



This is the closet and the empty space you see here will be filled with the art activity table that I've designed and Grandpa is constructing.








These are cute bugs that create the boarder around the room. I hand painted over 168 of these cute bugs. There are bumblebees, butterflies, dragonflies, cats, frogs, hearts, and flowers. The curtains in the room also have the same motif in them.

Guess what....

MY DOSSIER IS DONE!!! WHA...HOOOOOOOOO!!! It was on it's merry way to the agency about 2:30 pm today! I'm so numb from working on it for the last year...yes year - it has been exactly one year as of today that I've been working my way to my girl...that it really hasn't sunk in yet but I know it will sometime or other. YEAH ME!!

My Hats in Kaz!

WOW...two posts in one day!! I'm even surprising myself (teehee!)

I've been in touch with a non-profit organization that works in Taraz, Kazakhstan called Interlink Resources (see previous post). They work with the baby houses there but don't really work with Alina's baby house that much. But, that doesn't matter to me. I haven't mentioned this before (because I'm such a bad blogger) but last summer, I started crocheting hats for the baby houses in Taraz. I've made over 125 so far. I sent my first box of about 30 hats to Interlink one week before Christmas '08 and they just received them last week!!! The wonderful people at Interlink sent me photos of the kids they gave them to (see pics below).






















Aren't these pics the greatest! I just want to take everyone of these kids home with me!

While in Kaz, I am going to volunteer at Interlink. After my morning visit with Alina, I will go with the Interlink people to the other orphanages and just "hang out" with the kids. I've already started making plans on what I would like to do with the older girls. I thought I would teach them how to crochet their own hats. I want to send some yarn and crochet needles in my next package of hats (which I need to get in the mail!). I would also LOVE to teach them how to sew. I've tried every way in the world to think how to get a sewing maching over there. I could do it. There are small enough sewing machines that would fit into a suitcase quite easily. The problem is, if it tears up when I'm not there, I know there's noone in Taraz that could fix it. So, what I may do is teach them how to hand sew. I could send some fabric/needles/thread in the next hat box and it could be waiting for me when I get there. I haven't mentioned this to Interlink yet but after all my paperwork is finished, I'm going to. I need to concentrate on that right now. But, I think the girls would love it and it may be a skill the older girls could use once they are out of the orphanage.

Good News and then even Better News....

BUT...a little bitchy, venting session first...

Well, I'm here...sort of. The last few months at work have been pure hell. I added up my overtime. I worked an extra 186 hours from Oct. 25 until Feb. 10. ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHT SIX HOURS PEOPLE!!! Somehow, I worked an extra month and almost a half within a 4 month period! I'm still exhausted and don't know if I will ever recover. I can't get over the feeling of being tired no matter how much I sleep or just lounge on the couch. It sucks because I have so much to do. Oh well...life MUST go on!

AND NOW FOR THE GOOD NEWS....my agency contacted me a almost two weeks ago and said to get the rest of my paperwork done..ie FBI fingerprints, med form, and more pics of the house (Kaz wants pics of the child's room (no problem), the backyard (no problem), and the BATHROOM!! WTF is that!). I just got my fingerprints back yesterday (after only a week and a half...that's good...it usually takes two weeks) and even though I went to my doctor over a week ago with the med form, they still don't have it filled out. I called today and said that this is the only piece of paper I'm waiting on to complete my adoption paperwork. They couldn't even find the form I hand delivered over a week ago! So, I am heading to the doc office in the morning for an appointment at 8:05 (I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON!!!). The doctor WILL fill the med form out in front of me and hand it to me personally!

Then, ALL PAPERWORK IS D..O..N..E!!!! WAHOOOOO!

AND NOW FOR THE BETTER NEWS....I should get all my paperwork to the agency by the end of the week next week (I still have to get everything notarized and apostilled). My agency also told me in the email that my dossier would be submitted at the end of March/first of April! This is GREAT news because it's an entire month earlier than I expected! The dossier will spend anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months at the Embassy (processing times are all over the place right now!) and then it's off the Kaz! I'm still looking at about 5 months once my dossier gets to the Embassy. So, that means, I will be traveling in or around August to get my pudgy cheek, sweet little Alina! YIKES!! I still have so much to do..to read..to get ready for!! I really don't think any of this will hit me until I get my LOI (my invitation from Kaz to travel to come and get Alina). Right now, I'm just treading and doing what I need to do to get to that point. Once that point is here....I don't know what is going to happen! I hope I can keep my head on straight enough to get done what I need to get done! I know I will because by then I'll be so numb I'll just be going through the motions of getting it done! Excitement will come when I see my little girl for the first time...GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THAT DAY!! It's coming sooner than I think or am willing to believe!!

Girgle....Girgle...

Work..(girgle)...to much...(girgle)...big show...(girgle)...head not above water...(girgle)...can't breath...(girgle)...must grow gills...(girgle...girgle...girgle..................

New Photos of My Girl!!

I've received new photos of my baby girl!!! They were taken in July so they are only 6 months old!! Thank you to Jen and Denise, two Taraz Kaz moms, who have given me this wonderful gift! And may I present....
Alina Jean Yeager, 5 years old and residing at Umit Baby House in Taraz, Kazakhstan!!







Aren't these just precious!!! I can't believe I have been so blessed! Jen and Denise also told me that Alina is well loved at her Baby House and she was the "social butterfly" of Umit. She is also a little "chatty, Kathie" and is just a "ball of cuteness". They tell me that she has a wonderful personality and always has a smile on her face and that these pictures do not do her justice! She is much, much cuter in real life and that her smile will "light up a room"! Ugh...I'm on cloud 100000000000000000000000000 and 9!!!!

Helloooo (echo...echo...echo)!!!

Ok, so how addicting is Facebook! OMG!!! I'm totally addicted to everything on that site: games, my farm (called AJ farms), my fluff friend...aahaaah!!! It's really fun and I can't believe I know 193 people!! How crazy is that!!

Now...down to getting caught up bullet style:

* Christmas was wonderful!! Very low key, lounging around, and eating anything I wanted for the day at my parents house. We promised not to buy alot for each other this Christmas so we could save up for the upcoming Kaz trip. I think we did an ok job. We, as in my Mom, Dad, and me, wore our Kaz shirts on Christmas day. Mom and Dad wore their "Waiting for my granddaughter from Kazakhstan" shirt and I wore my "Mom To Be (heart) my heart and baby are in Kazakhstan". We felt it was just a little way that Alina could be with us this Christmas. Just think, next Christmas is going to be so exciting! It will be Alina's first Christmas with her new family and my parents (an me) cannot wait!!! I can't wait to watch her unwrap her presents and see the smiles on her face!

* My dad is doing great!!! He had a checkup with his heart doctor on 12/23 and his heart is doing good and still in rhythm. They didn't take him of any of his meds but it had only been about 5 weeks since his procedure so kinda expected. We were hoping that he might get taken off of 1 or 2 but the docs want him to take them a little longer. His next appointment is in Feb so hopefully then he will get to get off some meds.

* My job is killing me!!! Wait, let me re-phrase that...I'm LETTING my job kill me!!! I'm so tired of people expecting miracles and then getting disappointed when I cannot pull one out of my ass!!! As of today, I'm not letting it stress me out so much. I've been a total wreck about my job since October and I need to stop it!!! I actually think I have an ulcer because of it! My stomach has been so upset over the past 3 days that I haven't been able to sleep or eat! I had to take a day off work yesterday because of it and work is what's causing the problem! UGH!!! So, no more bringing work home to work on over the weekend, leaving the building no later than 5:30, and working as diligently as I can while I'm there. That's all I'm doing from now on...no more! Don't get me wrong...I LOVE WHAT I DO but it's taking over my life again and I getting burned out! So, again, I am putting my foot down..damn it!! Ok...vent closed :)

* Found out (well, I already new but now I know for sure) that my baby is in Taraz, Kazakhstan (that's why the star is on the map above). She is definitely in the Umit Babyhouse. I have a "friend" at the adoption agency. She serves as a liaison for the case workers. If you are interested in the adoption agency, she sends you info, application, answers your questions, etc. Once you have committed to the agency, she then gives you over to a case worker. Well, my friend was so in love with Alina that she really wanted to find a home for her. In fact, she told me that if her husband would have agreed, she would have adopted Alina herself. But, alas, her husband said 2 is enough for them so she introduced me to Alina. I really wasn't looking for an older child. I don't know why. I guess I just had baby stuck in my head (Hey, NO DAYCARE with an older child...hello! She can go right into school (kindergarten)!) Plus, once I saw Alina's picture, I couldn't say anything else but YES!! Just look at those cheeks! How could anyone in their right mind not want to pinch and smooch on those pudgy little things!!! Hopefully in about 8 months, I'll be doing just that!!

Ok...updated enough. More coming soon!! Have a great week, ya'll!!!

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!!

Have a safe and wonderful Thanksgiving!!

Love,
Kim and Alina

This post is WAY to long...

I promised myself I would blog more so here I am....blogging. What should I start with? My crazy summer? The story of my beautiful baby girl? Anything goes...right? It's a blog!! So, here goes....

* In May, I found out my theatre mentor and friend had breast cancer (read previous post about this).

* In June, we found out that my Dad's heart was out of rhythm. He was having trouble breathing and I finally convinced him...wait, let me rephrase that...threatened him into going to see a doctor about it. I told him if he made me drive 7 hours to cart his ass to the doctor he was going whether he liked it or not. I would have taken him in kicking and screaming if I had to. Why are parents so pig headed sometimes? I don't understand it? They want the best for us and always encourage us to go to the doctor or dentist when we are in distress but WILL NOT do if for themselves. I just don't get it! Maybe when Alina gets here I will but for right now, I'm at a loss. Anyway, he did go to the doctor and the doctor, who is a friend of mine, put him in the hospital that day! His heart was beating in the mid hundreds and it's only suppose to be beating in the 70's! Needless to say, my doctor friend said if he didn't go into the hospital, he would end up having a stroke or heartattack. So, he did go into the hospitial..right into the ICU unit so they could keep a close eye on him. So, I jumped in the car and headed home to KY. Yes, the 7 hour drive was the longest in my life. Knowing that your father (or mother) is in the hospital with a heart condition and you are not there is tormenting!!! But, I made it and thus spent 2 weeks in KY trying not only to support my father but help my mother with the family business. From then on, it was back and forth from Memphis to KY almost every other week or two weeks to go to doctor's appointments or this, that, or the other thing. I wish I could have just spent all my time in KY but it's really hard when you have a place of your own to take care of not to mention two cats.
Just last week, my dad had a procedure to put his heart back into rhythm. This was the third procedure he had to try to fix his out of rhythm heart. Well, it is working so far. The next three months are crucial in that if his heart stays in rhythm, he's pretty much in the clear. They will slowly take him off his meds to see if his heart will maintain a regular beat. If it does, he should be good. Now, it's not to say that if can't go out of rhythm again. We'll probably have to watch it from now on but it for right now, he's good. He never was incompacitated at anytime. He's only symptom was that he couldn't walk more that 10 feet until he was completely, and I mean panting, out of breath and, of course, that made him tired. So now, he can walk much further, is not out of breath but gets tired easily. So, he does have some rehabilitation to go through to get his heart back up to speed...I know, bad pun but couldn't resist! He just needs to have the patience to do it. He is being good though and doing everything his heart doctor says. And, of course, he blames me for all of this! If I hadn't threatened him into going to the doctor, none of this would have happened he says (all of this is said from a loving, joking manner really!!). Well, all I can say is....your welcome! I'm glad your in rhythm now Daddy...you can now dance with the soul brothers!!!

Now, while all of this was going on, I found out that Kazakhstan was slowing down, vertually stopped, their IA program and now I am stuck in ANOTHER holding pattern. Well, things are moving again and as I mention in my last post, my dossier is in line to be submitted. My case worker said it would be around 6 months but I think it will be sooner. She wrote me an email a couple of weeks ago saying I needed to have letters of support for my homestudy agency and my social workers licenses because when my dossier is submitted, they will be less than one year old (they received new licenses in May of this year). So, that leads me to think that my dossier could be turned in maybe around March or April which means I will be able to travel sooner! Of course, I'm not getting my hopes up to much. I've been in the game long enough to know that this really means nothing but I can still hope.

This post is way to long. Are you guys sure you want me to come back to blogging? I could ramble on more you know but for now, it's time to stop.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING TO YOU ALL!!

I Know...I Know...

Ok...I know it's been forever but there were alot...ALOT...and I do mean ALOT of things happening this summer with me that I will not go into right now..maybe later. BUT...I have some BIG NEWS that I just had to share with all my blog friends (if you are still reading my severely neglected blog). I'M PREGNANT...Paper Pregnant that is!! As of November 7, 2008 (ironically my birthday...what at b-day present for me..it's a good omen), I am offically on my way to the kutest kid in Kazakhstan! It's going to be 6 months (maybe less) until my dossier is submitted to the Kaz Embassy in DC (yes, there is a slowdown right now due to some a$$holes making money off of adoptions in Kaz). Once it's through the Embassy (it will take approximately 2 weeks) then it's off to Kaz and that process will most likely take 2 1/2 to 3 months. So, in 9 months (how ironic is that), I will be holding my precious Alina Jean for the first time! HOLY CRAP!!! HOLY CRAP!! This is really going to happen! I can't believe it! When the realization hit me yesterday, all I could do was cry and hold her picture. I am the luckiest person in the world! Hold on Alina baby! Mama's comin'!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm alive....barely!!

Thanks everyone for your comments. I'm sorry I haven't been around lately but this summer has turned out to be the most stressful of my LIFE!! No...it's has nothing...well almost nothing...to do with the adoption. I can't go into specifics right now but hopefully will have some time soon to fill you in on what's been going on with me this summer. Just know that I appreciate your patience with me. I promise to be back with details and pics of the beach trip which was the ONLY highlight of my summer!

HUGS AND KISSES!!

Be Back Soon!!

Beaching It!!

I'm off to the BEACH!!! WOOOHOOO!!! I'm so damn excited!! I'll be sure to take some pics of the lovely Biloxi, MS area! Must go and pack now!! See ya later!!!

I'm B..A..C..K!!

Well...I've been back for a while but been busy getting the rest of the adoption paperwork together. So, here's the last month of my life...bullet style (in no certain order):

* Got my fingerprints taken today for immigration. Now it's a 7 week wait for the "permission" from the government to bring Alina into the states. Waited it out once, can do it again. Once I get the "permission slip", a.k.a the coveted I 171H, that completes ALL the paperwork needed for my dossier...yippeee!!!! Then it's time to get everything apostilled and sent off to the agency where it will all get translated and then sent to the Kaz embassy in DC. Then, after they approve it, it's off to Kaz and then I wait to get my Travel Approval. I think I'm still looking at another 7 to 9 months before I can bring Alina home.

* Homestudy is done! Got that taken care of last week. I kinda had to be a squeaky wheel about it but I was not waiting 3 months like I did last time. Last time there was no child waiting for me. I was waiting for a child (the China adoption). I hate being a squeaky wheel but we all know what a squeaky wheel gets....

* Took care of my friend who had a mastectomy for a week and a half. She came through it rather well. She had some complications afterwards but is on the path to wellness now. As much as I love her, I have discovered that she is the most negative person in the world!! Spending a week and a half, day in and day out, has really opened my eyes to her true personality. Don't get me wrong...I still love her to death. What bothers me is that she CHOOSES to be this way. She knows that she is being negative, abrasive, and pushy and she has the attitude of, "If you don't like it then F**k you!!" Now, she's not like this all the time. It was just a little bit of a shock I guess. She started out as a mentor to me and we became friends. I've been with her through the death of her husband, her mother, and now her cancer scare plus many other things. She will always be my friend but don't know if I can spend another week and a half with her...hehehe!!! (PS her stepdaughter and her partner are also helping to take care of her).

* Going to the beach next week!!! Wooohooo!!! I really shouldn't but I'm doing it anyway. 4 days and 3 nights in Biloxi, MS!!! Yeah, I know. It's not Florida or the Keys..it's only Biloxi. But, when you haven't been to the beach in over 3 years, it's good enough for me and especially for my budget right now.

* Just made a TO DO list for the summer which includes getting all the little things done around the house PLUS fixing Alina's room. I'm not repainting (thank God) so I'm working with the colors that are already there (purples, lavenders, greens). I'm just "kid-a-fying" it.

* Bought Alina a bed frame, comforter, and curtain rods. The bed is a captains bed with three drawers under it. The comforter is sooo cute and so are the curtain rods. I'm making her curtains and I've order wooden letters that spell her name..gotta paint those and hang them. I'll post some pics when I get it all finished. I think it's going to be sooo cute!!!

* Hung my flat screen TV on the wall this weekend AND put my new media cabinet together. This cabinet holds 440 DVDs!!! It took me two days to put it together because my little battery powered screwdriver kept running out of juice..teehee! It looks pretty cool!

* Some friends and I have started to go to Swankies Taco Shop (weird I know) for Trivia night on Wednesdays. It's been really fun!! The margaritas are the bomb and the foods not bad either. I thought since this is my last summer of being by myself (hopefully), I'd better get out and do stuff while I can.

* Been to the zoo several times and will go again several times. It's Gili's (my surrogate child) favorite place to go. We went all by ourselves a couple of weeks ago. It was great to "play mommy" for a day. I also kept her one day last week. We always have so much fun!!

* Welcomed home Owen Walls who is our newest addition. He arrived fresh from China on May 15th. He is three and such a cutie!!! Most of my China mom's group meet Owen and his family at the airport when they got back from China. He seems to be adjusting well to his new family and life in the states.

That's about it. Thanks for dropping by!! I'll try not to let another month go by before posting again. I should do this every night. It's very cathartic for me but I bet it bores you guys to tears...hehe!!! Cheers....until next time!!