Tuesday, July 14, 2009

I’m losing track of the days. I thought today was Monday and it’s Tuesday. I only realized it when I started to write today’s blog entry. You think I had just arrived in Taraz but it’s been a week already. Time is flying by.
It has been seven days since Alina and I met. What a week it has been! We both have learned so much about each other and have lots more to learn in the next 11 weeks. I am looking oh so forward to it.
I met Shirin outside the Hotel Zhambyl today. It is not hot here in the mornings like it is in Memphis. In Memphis, it is 85 degrees by 9 am (ok…I may have exaggerated a little…anyway it’s hot in the morning in Memphis!)! There are two benches out front and I have been going down at about 9:15 and sitting on one and waiting for Shirin and Janette. Shirin usually arrives first and then Janette arrives in a taxi and then we are off to the orphanage. It was like that today. The drive is the same crazy adventure through the streets of Taraz as usual. We arrive at the baby house and Alina and her group are no where to be found. We go to look in the shelter where they usually are but they are not there. Then we go up to their room and they are not there. Someone has stolen my child!!! No, not really. They had just been walking around the orphanage and we had missed each other. We started walking back toward the front when we met up with them. Alina started crying when she saw me and was saying Mama….Mama. Shirin told me that she said she was afraid I was not coming to see her today. I picked her up and cuddled her until she stopped crying. She was dressed in her birthday outfit. I had brought another outfit with me for her today. It is a 3T. The shirts fit perfectly but the shorts are a little to big. I brought sewing stuff with me so the shorts I brought for her today, I took in last night about ¾ of an inch. Her nanny dressed her in her new clothes. They fit her perfectly. I will take another shirt and short set for her tomorrow. Shirin told me that Alina said she was happy to have her very own clothes and that her Mama brings her clothes everyday.
Our visit today was a good one. It seems we are relaxing a bit more around each other and she is definitely wanting to be near me or sit in my lap. I have gathered enough trust points for that not to be an issue anymore. She even said today that she wanted to sit by her mama. And so she did…I was sitting on the floor of the gazebo and she came right over and sat down right between my legs and we looked at the Pooh book together. She is letting me touch her more and enjoying the tickling. A week ago, I couldn’t even get a finger close to her and she would whine and move away. Now, it is a welcomed touch and she loves to be tickled and I love to hear that impish little laugh that comes out of that sweet baby’s mouth! It’s the best sound in the world. I even got to put lotion on her legs and arms without much protest today. I think the protest is that she thinks it’s going to hurt rather than me actually touching her. I try to do it as quickly as possible. I also put Aquaphor on her face. She got really mad at me for that and wouldn’t come near me until I offered her a bribe to come back to me. Boy, does she have a stubborn streak! Mule doesn’t even begin to describe her when she’s being stubborn.
I brought green tea, crackers, gummy bears, and cookies for treats today. She’s figured out where I keep the treats (in my purse) and that’s the first place she looks when we get to the gazebo. I don’t pull the treat bag out all at once. I open it and leave it in my purse and pull one treat at a time out. If I pulled the entire bag out, it would be gone in five minutes flat!!! My baby loves her treats! So, I treat and we play then I treat some more than we have a sip of tea which is usually following by ahhhhhh. It’s so damn cute! I’m not really suppose to give her sweets so I don’t give her but 3 or 4 gummy bears but she can have all the crackers and cookies she wants. I also don’t give her many of those either because I don’t want to spoil her lunch which she eats right after our visit. A handful of crackers and two cookies over a two hour period I figure isn’t so bad. She got mad at me today because I wouldn’t let her have a cracker until she said please. She wouldn’t say it so I wouldn’t give it to her. You’d think I’d cut her arm off! Crying, falling on the ground, big ol’ crocodile tears….it was tough for Mama. Alina won…mama gave in and gave her the cracker anyway. Geeze…I such a sucker! All was fine after that. She did protest a little on the next cracker but said please and I gave it to her. I always tell her, “jaqsy cuz”, which means good girl in Kazak. That makes her smile. She was also saying today, “peeeze” then she would say, “give it to me “ in Kazak. It was quite hilarious.
I took her to the potty again today. I guess that’s another trust point for me. She trusts me enough to let me take her to the potty. Shirin watched our stuff and we went up to her room, pulled out a little potty, sat it on the floor, and did our business after Mama helped pull her new shorts down. After she was finished, she pulled her pants up and reached for me. I picked her up and we went back to our gazebo. No one has said anything to me about taking her to her own potty in her room so I’m going to keep doing it unless someone tells me not to. It’s the only potty she will use and it’s either me doing it or me handing her off to one of the nanny’s to do it. Of course, I’d rather do it.
We went for a walk…just around the orphanage. She wanted me to carry her so I did. We would walk by windows and see our reflection in them. There were a lot of windows and every time we walked by one she would gasp, point, and say, “Aleeena et Mama”. It was great fun just to hear that little gasp not to mention the words Mama out of her mouth. We worked our way around to the sand box and dug around there for a while. The sandbox is near her groups shelter and I knew there were some sandbox toys stored in the cabinet in the shelter. I went to get a few…a broken shovel, a broken pail, and half of a plastic apple that I used as a shovel. We played in the sand for a few minutes. The sandbox was in the shade and it felt very cool under the tree. While we were playing in the sandbox, Shirin retrieved the toys from the gazebo and brought them down to where we were playing in the sand. The sandbox adventure lasted all of 10 minutes then it was back to the books and crayons. That lasted another five minutes then we hit the pavement again to walk back around to our gazebo. Before we left though, Alina insisted we put the sand toys back in the cabinet. She gathered them up herself, walked them over the where they were suppose to go and put them away. “I put them away” she exclaimed as she is walking back to me. We spent the rest of the day at the gazebo drinking tea, eating cracker and cookies (and saying please without a fuss), and playing with our toys.
At 11:20, one of Alina’s nanny’s came by and called out to her. Shirin told me that Alina had to go inside now so she could eat her lunch. Alina instantly started crying and reached for me. I picked her up, told her I would see her tomorrow, and kissed her on the cheek. The nanny took her from my arms and walked away with her into the orphanage. I could her Alina crying Mama…Mama as the caretaker walked her out of my sight. I don’t know if I can describe how difficult that is for me. It feels like someone is ripping my heart out and I almost lose my breath. In fact, I have to take a deep breath after that happens just to calm myself. It’s not fun and I can’t wait for these next 9 ½ weeks to be over so Alina will never have to cry like that for her Mama again…..EVER!!!
Janette is a little late in picking us up so Shirin and I sit in the gazebo and chat. She is talking about her cousin (which they call brother) who is stealing his girlfriend today to go get married. Yes….stealing. The girlfriend does not want to get married until next year but Shirin’s cousin wants to be married now so the girlfriend has no choice in the matter. They will go to the what we would call a courthouse, fill out the proper paperwork and it is over. The poor girl does not have a say in it. She can choose to live with her parents or choose to live with her husband. If she chooses to live with her parents, she cannot marry again for another five to seven years. This is because she is not considered a virgin anymore so she has to wait to be married again. Very strange but very interesting at the same time.
Janette returns but she goes into the orphanage to talk to the administration. During the taxi ride to Umit, I asked Janette if I could come to the orphanage by myself after my two week bonding period was up. She said that I can come back to visit Alina but I have to have Shirin or herself with me. But, she will ask the administration if the would make an exception. So, I’m assuming that the reason Janette goes inside the orphanage when she returns is to ask for the exception. She and the lady who decides which children are offered up for adopted come out to the gazebo. The administrative lady starts talking to me through Shirin. She says that I cannot come to the orphanage by myself and that I have to have a translator or a coordinator with me at all times. It is the law and the orphanage has to sign a paper stating that they did not let me see my child without a coordinator or translator present. Ok…no problem. Your country, your rules…I’ll play by them…I have to if I want to take Alina home with me. This means that I have to pay Janette, Shirin, and a driver for the next nine weeks for the trips to Umit. In the email I got from my agency, they want $50 a day to do this! No wonder parents leave and come back. Who can afford this!?!! I’ve got to find a way or I might as well go back home. Ugh! I hate thinking about money. Hopefully, Janette will work with me and not charge me so much. Pray that she does.
After the administrative lady talks with me, she and Janette go back into the orphanage and Shirin and I make our way back to the taxi that is waiting for us. After a few minutes, Janette and the administrative lady come out and have a seat in the gazebo where Shirin and I were sitting. They talk for what seems like an eternity but it was only for another 10 minutes for so. Janette finally comes back to the taxi and we are off on another wild ride through the streets of Taraz. Shirin has agreed to take me to Tsum which is a mall just down from the hotel. The taxi lets us out there and we go inside. This is not like an American mall by any standards. Think inside flea market. Very nice, very clean but no individual store fronts. The stores are essentially kiosks that sell sunglasses, chandeliers, electronics, sports equipment, notebooks, etc. The third floor is all clothing and in the basement is a restaurant, a bakery, a small market, and another store that I have no idea what it sold. I asked Shirin if we could buy Alina some new toys. I can tell Alina is bored with the toys I am bringing because they are the same thing everyday. So, Shirin takes me to where there are toys for sale. I buy her more stacking toys like the ones I bought her for her birthday. I had forgotten to ask for those toys back on Sunday and now they are no where to be found. It is said that sometimes the caretakers will take stuff home for their children. I think that’s probably what happened in this case. No matter. As long as a child is enjoying them…that’s what I bought them for. But, the ones I bought today will be coming back and forth with me so Alina can have them and not someone else’s child…..MY child needs toys too.
Stacking toys are purchased and now we head down to the restaurant in the basement. I can already smell the aroma of the traditional Kazak food being prepared. We walk into the restaurant and there are older ladies working in the kitchen preparing the food. Think five to six grandmas cooking your favorite meal for you. Who doesn’t like grandmas’ cooking? The menu is hanging on the wall and is in Kazak. Shirin translates it for me. I decide to have a dish that she likes which consists of rice, carrots, and beef. We order at a counter, receive our food at the same counter, and pay for our meal there as well. We are given fresh from the oven homemade bread and compote which is a fruit juice drink poured into a juice glass. I want to treat Shirin to lunch because she has been so accommodating to me. She protests a little but lets me do it anyway. She says she should be treating me. I protest and pay for the meal. As I was paying, Shirin finds us a table. I am so looking forward to eating my first traditional Kazak dish. It was absolutely fabulous! I’m not quite sure what type of rice was in the dish but it was cooked perfectly. It tasted like it had been stir fried in the beef juices. The carrots, which were small slivers, were cooked very well and the beef was good but a little chewy. I didn’t care! It was all so good! They topped it off with a spoon full of green onion and an herb which, at first, I thought was dill. But, I didn’t taste any dill in the dish so I’m not sure what it was. The bread was fabulous too! It had that fresh homemade look, smell, and taste. We both had finished our compote and Shirin snuck out to the market out front and bought us a litre of Pepsi to share. Again, like at Café Istanbul, she poured me a glass first then herself a glass. I thanked her and we finished our dishes and started walking back to the hotel…about a 10 minute walk. It was a very pleasant afternoon and I enjoyed myself thoroughly. We got to the hotel and I thanked Shirin for taking me to Tsum and we said our goodbyes. I needed to go to the market across the street to pick up some cheese, bread, tea for Alina, some more cookies for Alina, and beer. Kazak beer is sooooooo goooooood!!! I’m not a beer drinker but the beer here is great! I can’t wait for Mom to taste it.
Ok…enough…enough. Until tomorrow. Thanks again for tuning in.

Sow bul!