CATCHING UP

July 23, 2009 through July 30, 2009

Wow! I can’t believe I’m this far behind in posting! I apologize to my avid readers ; ) !!!! Thanks again everyone for leaving your comments and taking the time to follow our journey. The following posts should bring us all up to date. I’ll try not to fall so far behind from now on. Enjoy!

*****************

Thursday, July 23, 2009

My camera batteries have died and I have not yet found a place to buy more. I’m sure the big grocery store will have them. Must make a trip there soon anyway. Therefore, no new pictures but, hey, I’m here for another 7 to 8 weeks so a few days without pics is ok I think.
It’s been great fun getting to know the Robeys, Kara Docter and her mother, Marsha. They are just wonderful people and I’ve had lunch or dinner with both of them this past week. All of us who are in town right now (the Robey’s, Kara and her mother, Natalie and Christian and the kiddos of course) are going to a new restaurant tonight to have dinner. It’s a Turkish restaurant just a short 10 minute walk from the hotel. It should be great fun and I’m so looking forward to it!
Today’s visit with “the stinker”, as my father likes to call her, went well. I was tested or should we say Mama’s buttons were being pushed by Alina today. I had broken off a small piece of a stick pretzel to give her but she dropped it on the floor of the gazebo. I asked her to through it away and she did. Well, when she had finished her snacks, she went over to the concrete planter that serves as a garbage can and started to pick out the piece of pretzel she had thrown away earlier. She started to reach down inside the planter and I told her no. She looked up and me and smiled that little impish smile. I just kept staring at her with a stern look on my face. She waited about 10 seconds and started to do it again. Never taking my eyes off her, I told her no. She pulled her hand back out of the planter, looked at me and laughed. My expression on my face didn’t change. She is still standing by planter and another 10 seconds goes by. She looks up to see if I’m still looking and her, smiles, and reaches down AGAIN to retrieve the piece of pretzel. I sternly and loudly told her NO! This time, she walked away from the planter, came back into the gazebo and started playing with her stacking toys. AHA!! Score one battle point for Mama!!! Wahooo!!! Yeah it was a small battle but a battle none the less. She listened to her Mama….that’s what I wanted her to do and to realize that it’s not all about what Alina wants anymore. Mama has some say now too. This is only the beginning of the battles. I’m sure there are a lot more to come. Other than that, we had a great time. She’s wanting me to hold her more than ever and she’s always wanted to sit in my lap. There was a little whimper when the caretaker came to take her away today. I told her I’d be back tomorrow, gave her a smooch on that pudgy little cheek, and let her go. It’s the worst part of my day when I have to see her walk back into that orphanage. Believe me, I’m counting the days until we both can walk out of the blue and yellow iron gates of the Umit Baby House!!!!
I came back to the hotel after our visit and put the photo pages together for the Guardianship Council meeting tomorrow. I have one photo have each day of the bonding period. Janette said that I needed to put two photos on a page. I did, put them in the folder we had purchased and then she will put the appropriate paperwork along with the pictures. I am soooo nervous about tomorrow! I haven’t really slept in the last two nights just thinking about it. I’ve been assured that everything will be fine but you never know. Things can turn on a dime in adoption and I just hope tomorrow will go as smoothly as possible.
Until tomorrow……details of Guardianship Council meeting…will I be approved to adopt Alina? Let’s hope so.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

*****************

Friday, July 24, 2009

Dinner last night was so great! All of us had a great time and the food was really good! The restaurant was a nice little walk from the hotel but it wasn’t to far. We all were supposed to meet outside the hotel at 6:30. Since Natalie and Christian arrived early, they walked to the restaurant and back so they could show us exactly where it was. We all had a good time and got to know each other a little more.
We are losing Lynda, Wayne, and Lukas Robey and Kara and Alina Docter and her mother Marsha tomorrow. They will be leaving on the train at 9:30 pm to head to Almaty for the last part of their adoption journey. In Almaty, they will receive the children’s visa’s and other important paperwork so they can enter the US. Good Luck you guys!!! Have a safe trip and it was great getting to know you!
Today’s visit was good. No testing like yesterday but lots of sitting on Mama’s lap while drinking our juice and eating our snacks. I swear this child would eat for the entire visitation period if I let her. She is not allowed to get the treat bag herself. Mama has control over that and I give out small pieces of pretzel, cracker, or cookie at a time. If I were to let her have the snack bag, it all would be gone in less than five minutes! I try to give her two to three snacks then I distract her with looking at the photo album or the stacking toys. That works for a while until she remembers the snacks are there. She is almost obsessed with making sure she gets her juice and snacks everyday. I hope once we get home, she doesn’t start to hoard food. I’ve read about how adopted children, especially internationally adopted children, tend to hide food in their rooms. It’s a survival instinct. They do get food in the orphanage but I’m sure it’s not enough. So, anytime they think they can get food from somewhere or someone else, they are going to get it. It makes me so sad these kids have to think like that. They are three, four, and five years old and they are thinking of ways to get food and survive!?!!! They should be thinking of rainbows, magic pony’s, riding their tricycle, and hugging their teddy bear at night. Instead, they have to constantly be thinking of what they have to fight for to survive. It’s so heartbreaking and I wish I could find homes for all of them so they could have the chance to have a childhood and not be forced into survival mode at such a young age. I can see this in my baby and it breaks my heart. I just hope I can communicate to her once we are home that she will never, ever, have to worry about getting food again. She CAN dream of rainbows, magic pony’s, riding her tricycle, and hugging her frog at night and leave the rest for Mama to worry about.
I was a little distraught at the fact that Alina wanted to go to her group today and cut our visitation time short. She saw them pass by the gazebo again and she fought me to go with them. The routine is that when they are through playing outside, they get stripped down to their undies, get a splash bath which consists of one dipper full of water poured over their head (no soap, no shampoo, just water), get clean, dry undies on, and then it’s lunchtime. Well, Alina loves the water (thank God!) and, of course, she knows that once she gets her “bath”, she gets to eat. In other words, she knows the routine. So, I walked her to where the group was getting their bath, said my goodbyes and off she went. I can’t be angry with her. This is all she has known for the last four years of her life! Again, it’s the survival instinct kicking in. She knows that she has to have a bath first then she gets to eat. If she is not with her group when they eat, she may not get her share of the food. Again, she is thinking she has to fight for whatever she gets and she’s probably had to for the past four years. Hold on baby! In just a few short weeks, you’ll never have to worry about that again!
We get into the minivan and the driver drops Shirin off near her house and I get dropped off at the hotel. Again, I was reminded that I had Guardianship Council at 4:00 pm today….like I could forget! It’s only one of the two most important meetings I will ever have in my life!! I get back to my very stuffy room and try to relax a bit before I jump in the shower to get ready to go. We are leaving at 3:30 from the hotel. I did bring a couple of nice skirt outfits for this meeting and court. The color combo of black and white seem to be a favorite around here so I choose my black and white skirt/blouse combo with the black dress shoes I brought (that I know is going to give me blisters on my heels) for the council meeting. It’s 2:30 so I jump in the shower to start to get ready for this ever so important meeting.
Shirin arrived a little early and met me in the lobby. We sat in the AC and chatted while we waited for Janette. This is Shirin’s first time translating at a Guardianship Council meeting. She’s just as nervous as I am. I assure her she’s going to do fine and she does the same for me. We are promptly picked up at 3:30 outside the hotel by Janette and our driver. Janette has brought along a person who I can only assume is a nurse. Bion is her name and she does speak a little English. She has adopted from Umit and knows Alina. She tells me she is very happy that Alina is getting a family. The place where this meeting will take place is not far from the hotel. We arrive at about 3:45. As with all the buildings in Taraz, it is an old building with no air conditioning and there are only a few overhead lights turned on. We enter the building and immediately proceed to a hallway in front of us. We take a right and Janette tells us to wait in the hallway while she goes into an office to speak to, who I will eventually discover, one of the council members.
It is now 4:00 and the hallway is becoming more crowded with people. There is a policeman, many local people, and someone who has the look of a lawyer also waiting. Everyone who enters the hallway looks at me as if to say, “Why are you here? Who is this strange looking person?” It’s very un-nerving at first but after a while, I just tend to ignore it. All I want is to get into this meeting and get out with a positive result. By now, Janette has disappeared and it’s just Shirin and I standing in the hallway with all the other people. It’s in the heat of the day so the more people that enter the hallway, the hotter it gets. I’m glad I have a skirt on and a tank top with a thin short sleeved shirt over it. There are many people passing by us with official looking documents in their hands. These people, I can only assume, work in the various offices in this building. It’s now 4:20 and still no sign of Janette or that the council has started meeting with people. I’m assuming that this council has many uses other than just approving adoptions. I know not everyone in that hallway was waiting for such a judgment. One of the office workers starts bringing out chairs for everyone. That’s a sign to me that we are going to be here a while. So, Shirin and I share a chair for the next 20 minutes. She offers me the chair first then after about 20 minutes, I offered her the chair. She refused it at first until I insisted she sit for a while. Finally at about 4:40, people are starting to file in and out of the council office and there are more seats open in the hallway. Progress…I’m thinking. By now, my nervousness has somewhat subsided and I’m just anxious to get this over with. I looked at Shirin, grabbed her hand and told her I was glad she was here. She is such a sweet girl and mature beyond her years. Janette has returned and is standing near the doorway to the office of the council along with the nurse she brought with her. They are chatting up a storm and Shirin and I keep a close eye on Janette because neither one of us knows what’s happening next. At one point while we were waiting, an older Russian woman come into the hallway. She is wearing a blue cotton house dress, black lace hair net that secured her white hair to her head, and cotton socks that she wears with her sandals which look like the only pair of shoes she owns. She is a very pretty old woman who was at least in her mid 70’s. She had very kind eyes. I could tell she was a little spitfire just by the way she entered the room. She starts talking to me in Russian. I look at her intently while she’s talking and then Shirin chimes in and tells her that I’m American and I don’t speak Russian. The old lady tells Shirin that I look Russian, nods her head at me, and scoots on down the hall toward the council office. I was sitting there thinking, “Wow…I’ve only been here two and a half weeks and I’m starting to look Russian?” I had to chuckle at myself.
It’s now 4:50 and I’m starting to get antsy. We have moved closer to the council office door but are still not inside yet. Again, Shirin and I are just sitting quietly and watching Janette for any kind of sign that it’s our turn. Most of the people who were in the hallway earlier have gone because they got to see the council members or they just gave up and would come back tomorrow. It’s not as hot as before but it may be that I’m just used to the heat by now. The old Russian lady is back and she takes a seat next to me. She turns to talk to me again but doesn’t wait for me to answer. I thought it was funny that she still wanted to communicate with me knowing I didn’t understand her. She sits only for a moment then she’s up again and gone.
It’s 5:00 and I’m now just about ready to have a stroke. It’s hot, I’m nervous and antsy, and I’ve been waiting in this damn hallway for an hour. What is going on in that office?!!! I tell myself to calm down and we just have to go with the flow. I’ve been watching the office workers go back and forth from once office to another and then back to the council office for an hour now. It seems that it’s pretty much a chaotic mess around here. I don’t know how anything gets resolved without organization. It would drive me nuts!!! I try not to concentrate on the wait or the chaos and start going over the answers to the potential questions that the council members might ask me.
Finally, at 5:05 we get a nod from Janette that it’s our turn. The nurse or whoever Janette brought with her left at 4:45. I hope she isn’t suppose to be here at the meeting with me. Shirin and I get up from our seats and enter the office doorway. There is an office worker sitting at a desk. Janette, who seems a little nervous and will not be accompanying us in the council office, speaks to her and the worker nods her head. The door to the council members office is closed but opens shortly after we enter. The policeman, who I has seen when we arrived, had been in there before us. Janette tells us good luck and to go inside. Shirin, of course, tells me to go before her. I take a deep breathe and enter the room followed by Shirin.
The room is about 8’ across by 15’ long. There is a file cabinet at one end and a window at the other end of the rectangular shaped room. Next to the window is a desk which sits along the long side of the room. In front of the desk, is a row of about eight chairs. I slide down the row of chairs and sit in one right in front of the desk. At the desk sit’s an older man, probably in his 60’s, who has a smile on his face. He is very welcoming to me. I call him the profiler. At the end of the desk are three women who are bunched up together looking at the paperwork that Janette has prepared for this meeting and, of course, the photos which they are oohing and awing over. They are all talking to each other at the same time. It’s a flurry of action between them but the profiler is just sitting behind the desk and never looks at one single photo or piece of paper. He just keeps looking at me and smiling.
I am seated and then Shirin sits next to me. I’ve decided that I will answer their questions with confidence and even though they will not know what I am saying, look them in the eye when I answer their questions. And so, the inquisition begins:

Q: You are from Memphis, TN? (from one of women)

A: Yes.

Q: How old are you? (from the profiler)

A: 41.

Q: Are you married? (from the profiler)

A: No.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: You have been informed of the child’s illnesses? (from one of women)

A: Yes.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: Why did you not become pregnant? (from one of the women)

A: Since I am an older woman, I felt that there were to many health risks for me and the baby.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: How much money do you make? (from one of the women)

A: 36,000 from my job at the University of Memphis. I also work for my parents and receive 20,000 from that job.

Q: Why did you choose Kazakhstan for your adoption? (from one of the women)

A: As I was researching international countries to adopt from, I came to respect the culture and people of Kazakhstan. I also respect the adoption process here especially the two week bonding period. I also know that the children are well taken care of and I have seen that for myself.

(paper shuffling and more talking between the three women)

Q: Why did you chose to adopt an older child? (from one of the women)

A: Since I am an older woman, I felt it more appropriate to adopt an older child.

With that answer, all of them, even the profiler, shook their heads and Shirin told me that they all agreed with my statement. In the next second, I heard the words that I’d been waiting to hear all day: Congratulations. You are approved to adopt the child. I thanked them, in Kazak, and exited the room along with Shirin. All of this took a total of SIX MINUTES!!! It was the most nerve racking six minutes of my life! I was never so relieved to get out of that room and Shirin felt the same way. We met Janette in the hallway and Shirin told her that I was approved. All of us walked out of that building on cloud 9! I told Janette that Shirin did a great job and she should be proud of her!! I hugged them both and we got in the minivan and headed toward the hotel.
When I got back to the hotel, I was congratulated by Lynda, Wayne, Kara, and Marsha. They are such nice people and they know what I was feeling since they had been through it weeks before. Now, I’m waiting on a court date. Janette said she would try everything she could to a quicker court date but there is only so much she can do. I expect it will be at least five weeks…worst case scenario, six. Then only three weeks after that (two for the appeal period after court and one for paperwork to get ready in Almaty) we get to go home to the US of A. Now, I need a beer.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

*****************


Saturday, July 25, 2009

I am ever so glad that Friday is over! I actually slept last night for the first time in three days!!! One more day down and one more hurdle jumped over.
I moved into an air conditioned room today! I hated to see the Robeys, Docters and Marsha go but I do so love my AC. I moved back to Room 220. I bet the people of the hotel hate me or at least think I’m a pain in the ass. I hope not. I’m trying not to be.
On the car ride to Umit today, Shirin told me that Janette will not be with us today because the families who left last night for the train at 9:00 pm with a departure time of 9:30 pm did not get to get on the train until 4:00 am this morning! Something was wrong with the train and it was delayed for seven hours!! My thoughts and prayers are with them today as they make the 10 hour trip to Almaty. At least they have sleeper cars and they can rest all the way there. God Bless Ya’ll!!!
Visit was fine. Lots of hugs and kisses and sitting on Mama’s lap again. Each day she wants more and more Mama time. I’m still being greeted by a big grin and wide open arms with tiny little legs scrambling toward me. I love it!! Snacks were eaten and juice was drank. Stacking toys were emptied out of their plastic containers and, immediately, put back in. Crayons were taken out of the box and, immediately, put back in. We did play in the sand box today. That was fun! Alina took her shoes off and would cover her feet up with sand. She just thought it was the funniest thing in the world! She would lose her breath laughing! She liked getting in the sandbox and then getting out of the sandbox. Does anyone see a theme here?
She wanted to go back to her group today which cuts our visitation short by 30 minutes. I didn’t argue this time and took her upstairs to her group. It makes me sad but I have to think about it this way…we’ve got the rest of our lives together. These 12 weeks are nothing….just a bleep in our time that we will have together.
I was informed by Janette, through Shirin of course, that we would not be coming to the baby house on Sunday. I was very disappointed at first but then I thought about it. I cannot ask these people to work seven days a week for the next three months. I hate, hate, working seven days a week. I just got through doing it at school last semester and it was not a pleasant experience. Shirin and Janette have lives too. Plus, the bonding process between me and Alina is going so well, I don’t think missing one day is going to hurt. And, since Janette still hasn’t told me if she is going to charge me for visitations, maybe if I give a little, I might get something….ie…if I give her Sundays then maybe she will not charge me for the coming weeks of visitation. I even offered Saturday and Sunday off. We’ll see.
Now, I have to settle into my cooler room. I need to make it my own since I’m going to be here a while. Until tomorrow….

Kim and Alina

PS. Yes….the black dress shoes DID leave a couple of blisters on my heel!

*****************

Sunday, July 26, 2009

No visit today. I just hung around the room, slept in, knitted a lot, and watched the equivalent of our ESPN on Kazak cable for a while and then watched some movies….all in an air conditioned room!!

Kim and Alina

*****************

Monday, July 27, 2009

Nothing spectacular today. Visit went good. Juice….drank….snacks…eaten…toys played with….photo albums looked at. I have taught her how to say bye bye and we are working on hi. Still sitting in Mama’s lap a lot and chattering away while looking me in the eye. That means, bonding is still going good. This child wants a mother so bad that if I had three eyes and a hump on my back she would bond with me. That special something is not quite there yet. I’m not feeling like her mother. But, I know it’s coming. It will just take some time. I know we were meant to be mother and daughter but the mother/daughter feeling is not quite there. It will be though. And I can’t wait for it to happen.
Alina wanted to go back to her group so I let her, again, cutting our time short. They were getting their “bath” and I took her to where they were. She immediately pulled her shirt off and waited patiently in line for her turn for the dipper full of water to be poured over her head. I don’t know if it happened or not because I left as soon as I saw she was safely with her caretakers. After the splash bath, the group filed into the orphanage and headed up toward their room for lunch. I could see this from the gazebo. I watched for Alina and as soon as she could see the gazebo she was looking for me. She saw me and waved and I waved back. She then headed upstairs for her lunch.
In one aspect, it’s really great that she is no longer crying when she leaves me. It means she trusts that I will return the next day. I expected to arrive to tears this morning since I did not see her on Sunday but that was not the case. I think I’ve earned enough trust points to be trusted that even if I do not come for one day, I will come back. Even though I don’t get to spend the two hours like I had hoped I would, I have to, again, look at it this way….we’ve got the rest of our lives together and pretty soon, we’ll be together 24/7.

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

*****************

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Again, nothing earth shattering to talk about today. Our visit went well. Alina chattered even more it seemed like today. Sitting on Mama’s lap while eating snacks and drinking juice was definitely a priority with her today. Mama didn’t mind at all.
I did get into a little bit of trouble today with one of the lady doctors at the orphanage. From our gazebo, you can see the “swimming pool” or ba-sing-gay. Alina loves the swimming pool and wanted to go swimming. I took her over to it with no intention of her getting in but letting her sit on the side of it and putting her feet in. Well, that didn’t happen. As soon as I put her feet in she stood up and starting walking across the pool. Then, before I could catch her, she starts to sit down…not all the way but just enough to get her shorts wet and the bottom of her shirt. I just said, “what the hell” and let her be. Well, one of the lady doctors saw what was happening and immediately came out, swished her hand in the water, told me that the water was to cold and to take Alina out. Now, I assumed this is what she was saying because Shirin was at the gazebo with our stuff. I just calmly walked over to where Alina was, took her out of the pool, and walked back to the gazebo. Natalie and Christian were there too and they had just taken Liam for a swim. Well, they got in trouble too. So, I didn’t bring any dry shorts for Alina because she never lets me put clothes on her. I had just brought a T-shirt. It wasn’t five minutes later that the doctor came out and told Shirin that I needed to get dry clothes on her. I didn’t have anything but a t-shirt! So, I knew it was going to be a struggle to get her out of her t-shirt but I was just trying to follow the doctors orders as much as I could. And what a struggle it was…I had to wrestle her to the ground, pull her wet shirt off her, and put the other t-shirt on. All of this while Alina was screaming and crying to the top of her lungs. She pouted for about two minutes and wouldn’t even let me near her. Shirin looked stunned and I told her that she was pouting and to just leave her alone. After the two minutes, she came walking toward me with her hands reaching toward me to pick her up. Battle number two won!!! Shortly after this battle, a caretaker came to take Alina and change her into some dry shorts. I thought I wouldn’t get to see her again and it had only been about 45 minutes into our visit. I thought I might be punished for letting her get wet. Not so. A few minutes later, Alina comes running out of the doors of the orphanage toward the gazebo in her yellow teddy bear t-shirt and dry boys underwear!!! I scooped her up, held her in the air, and she laughed!
The lady doctor came out at the end of our visit and told Shirin that children could not be left in wet clothes for a long time because it would make them sick. Jesus, people!!! I can understand why they don’t want children sick…if one gets sick everybody’s gonna gets sick. But come on! But, I just nodded my head and said it wouldn’t happen again. I felt like I had been a bad girl and I was getting my hand slapped.
One of Alina’s caretakers came to get her and she left with her without protest. We had hugs and kisses and said our goodbyes. Off she went to have her splash bath and lunch.
Shirin told Janette what had happened with the doctor and Janette told me not to worry about it. I think Janette smoothes things like this over with the administration. You go gurl!!!

Kim and Alina

*****************

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Still nothing is being said of whether or not I need to pay Janette for the visitations. I’m not saying a word and I’m just hoping for the best. I have been so fortunate so far maybe my luck will hold out until the end of the trip.
Our driver is insane!!! The drive to the orphanage gets scarier every day! I don’t even look out the windshield anymore….I can’t! It scares the beJesus out of me! I just look out the side windows of the minivan, say a little prayer, and distract myself by looking at all the different architectural elements of the houses we pass. It seems to work…for now!
I love the fact that Alina wants to sit in my lap when she has her snacks and juice. That really just started this week. It may be a comfort thing for her. I hope so. She is still talking up a storm. I was told by several of my Taraz moms that had met Alina that she was a talker and I’ve just experienced it this week. She hardly stops talking the whole time we are visiting each other. Of course, I have no idea what she is saying and half the time Shirin doesn’t either. I just nod my head and say, “Really” or “No way” or something to that effect. It seems to be working out ok.
At the end of our visit today, one of the caretakers came by the gazebo to collect my girl. She had a bucket of toys in one hand and some towels in the other. Alina and I said our goodbyes and off she went with the caretaker. As they were walking away, Alina grabbed the other side of the handle of the bucket of toys that he caretaker was carrying. It was a perfect photo op moment. Also, as they were walking away, Alina was chatting to the caretaker and telling her that her Mama had brought her juice and cookies to eat today. Shirin told me what she was saying as I was watching the two of them enter the wooden double doors of the orphanage. How sweet is that I ask you?!!
Something that has emerged in the last few days is that when her group comes walking by the gazebo, they will yell at her and she yells back at them. She tells them to “go away…this is my mama”, all in Kazak of course. She’s very serious and if one of them makes their way into the gazebo and even looks at me much less tries to talk to me she gets very upset. She is not only possessive of her snacks and toys but it seems I have made the possession list too. Yeah for Mama!!
Until tomorrow….thanks for tuning in!

Cheers,
Kim and Alina

*****************

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Again with the scary taxi ride this morning! I’m going to video tape a ride one morning because there is no way in hell I could describe the ride and give it justice. Let’s just say I said two prayers on the way to Umit this morning.
The “let’s push Mama’s buttons today” attitude seems to have subsided for now. I know it’s not gone and it will rear it’s ugly head again. I just have to be ready for it.
We had a different kind of juice this morning….peach juice (it’s usually apple). It took a couple of swigs to get used to but was eventually finished off. We are trying to say Juice Please and doing ok. Bye bye is down pat and Hi is getting there.
Alina wanted to say Salem (Hello in Kazak) to EVERYONE she saw today. She wanted to shake their hands as well. It’s so cute and everyone is accommodating because she is so cute! We went for a walk all the way around the orphanage today. This was the first time we had done it. Usually we’d make it down one side and then turn around and go back. I put her down so she could walk but she wanted me to carry her. That only happens when we first see each other and when she has to go potty. She’s never wanted me to carry her any other time. I must be getting my mommy muscles because it seems easier and more comfortable to carry her. I CANNOT get her to wrap her legs around me so I feel like she is just hanging from my arms. Gotta work on that. As we went for a walk about, we ran into some of the other groups of children and caretakers. The children that can talk all know that I’m Alina’s Mama and Alina has a Mama now. The caretakers would ask Alina were her Mama was and she would pat me on the arm or chest and say, “This is my Mama”. Almost every caretaker asked her this and she replied the same thing every time. It really warmed my heart. On the last leg of our walk, she laid her little head down on my shoulder and we just walked along silently. I stroked her back and she actually had stopped chattering for a few minutes. It was a great moment for us both.
Near the end of our visit, her group stopped by the gazebo for a ride on the little merry-go-round. I was upset at first that “our time” was being encroached upon but it wasn’t upsetting Alina so I let it go. Usually, she tells them to go away and if they get near her when we are together, they will spit or try to hit her. As the group was filing into the gazebo, I placed Alina on my lap so I could protect her if the hitting or spitting started. None of that happened. The kids are used to pushing each other in the merry-go-round seats so they all took turns. We were sitting on the benches on the side of the gazebo. As the kids would go around in the merry-go-round seats, they would hold their hands out and Alina would great them with a Salem and a handshake. She had fun and the other kids had fun as well. One little boy did get a little rough with the handshake and shook Alina’s arm to hard. I gently took his hand from Alina’s and told him no. Alina whimpered a bit and curled into me. I hugged her and rubbed her arm and that seemed to work. What I really paid attention to was when she felt hurt, she instantly curled into me for comfort. Great bonding sign!!!! I know it seems like a little minute detail but that’s what these bonding signs are….very little minute details that show you that these little ones are trusting you more and more each day. That’s very important in building a relationship. It was time for the splash bath and time for Alina to go and join her group. As they exited the gazebo, so did my little one. We hugged, kissed, I told her I’d see her tomorrow and off she went. Even though I hate giving her back to the orphanage, it’s seems it’s getting easier for me to do so. I guess I’ve finally convinced myself that it’s not forever and in just a very few short weeks, she’ll be mine forever and she will never have to see this place again. I’m trying to hold on to that thought as hard as I can.
Thanks everyone! Until tomorrow…same bat time, same bat channel (man, I’m such a dork or am I just showing my age?!! No…I‘m a dork!!!)

Cheers,
Kim and Alina